Health Anxiety and HIV

[dmcard]

Hi All,

I am hoping someone who has had similar experience of being convinced they have hiv and has manged to stop this anxiety could provide some advice as to how I can stop myself feeling this way. I have been stuck with this since Dec 2007 and cannot shake it off.

Since Dec 2007 I have had 3 negative hiv test, 12 month's, 14 month's and 15 month's after what I have convinced myself that I might of been exposed to hiv. This relates to a one night stand with a woman in Dec 2006 after spliting up with my long term partner of 15 years. I am not aware this woman is positive and I live in the UK so have been told by my GP this sort of exposure has extremely low risk.

After the first test I went to my GP because I was losing weight and after more blood tests was told I was suffering from depression. So have been on anti depressants since then. My GP has attempted to convice myself that I am negative every time I have had an appointment, also I have phoned the helpline at the Terrence Higgins hiv/aids charity regulary. Plus I have had some CBT sessions and have been referred to a psychiatrist for evaluation who incresed my medication. The depression seems better but the anxiety is not and will be coming of the anti depressants.
So would really appreciate any advice.

Thanks.

[nursegirl6572]

Sounds like you are slowly starting to accept your negative results...that is super.  It takes some time to un-do that worrying kind of thinking...but you WILL get there soon.

Put this behind you and get on with life...which it sounds like it is going pretty well for you!

[dmcard]

Thanks again for the response to my post.
My understanding of how the tests work and accuracy is limited.
Plus I tend to go with the worst case scenario which helps explain why I am in this position.
It is reassuring to read replies highlighting the accuracy of the tests and likelihood of having 3 false tests. After the first test I did convince myself it might have been a mix up as it was busy at the clinic that day, however the second and third tests I was the only person there so should use this fact to help convince myself.
The last half of 2006 and most of 2007 I was unhappy in my personnel life and in work so that would explain the depression, the weight loss associated with this probably caused the anxiety as I became convinced this was caused by illness.
This year has started better, I have a new job which I like and personally things are better
So I do need to stop dwelling in the past and move on. Perhaps I need to be more proactive as these nagging doubts are holding me back.

[nursegirl6572]

Actually...just a quick correction....3 months is conclusive, with the only exception being someone who would take longer to seroconvert...which would be people with end stage terminal cancer, and other scenarios which are not relevant to 99.9% of the population.

[crystalfresh]

I wonder if your anxiety over the HIV is actually anxiety over that time period of your life after the breakup and being with a new person and all and can't let it go to move on. Even people with anxiety don't often have anxiety over the impossible. Now if it were 99.9999% not possible and 0.0001% possible I can see how you might have anxiety. But this is clearly not possible.

[crystalfresh]

I know you have heard this before, and if you read my posts I usually disagree when it comes to sure things since I often will respond as not likely or unlikely. In your case I would say clearly not possible. It does not matter what your partner did or did not have. You have 3 tests beyond 6 months. There is no possible chance either way. Totally not possible. I can understand in a paranoid situation where someone doesn't trust the 3 month test or thinks maybe there was a mix up, but 12-14-15. No, impossible. The way they do the tests at least here in the use is by a reaction I was told in the color. They used to many many years ago look for this under a microscope but tests now have removed human error. There is no chance and it is impossible. You could have been sleeping with 100 infected people with out condoms and if you got these 3 test results 12-14-15 all negative you still would not have a possible chance of having it. You have to understand how HIV works and how they test for HIV. If you learn more about testing you would understand why these results are accurate. 15 months after exposure is 5 times longer than you needed to wait. I mean 6 months is considered 100% accurate.

[dmcard]

Thank you both for your replies. It’s really helpful to get advice from someone who has experience of dealing with this type of anxiety.

[Brad_]

After those tests you can guarantee that you dont have HIV. HIV tests are conclusive at 3 months after the incident and you have 3 tests all after 12 months so its impossible that you have HIV.

I hope you can get that anxiety under control, maybe try a different doc and a different combo of meds. Good luck.

[suzi-q]

If you look in these archives, you will see the many many many people who have the HIV anxiety also...most with little to no risk at all.  (I was one of those people).  There was no convinicing me otherwise.  When it came back negative, I then grabbed onto "other" illnesses that I "must" have....Lupus, MS, Brain Tumor.....you name it, I had it.  What it came down to is that I was suffering with anxiety and depression.  I find that when you are in the throws of these conditions, you grab onto any "real" illness to explain why you are not "feeling yourself".  It is so hard for doctors or anyone to convince you that you are healthy until YOU realize that physically healthy.  I then started taking an SSRI and Klonopin to help with my symptoms as well as therapy.  Lots of therapy.  14 years later, I would say that I am 90% better and back to life.  It takes time and work, but it must start with YOU being PROACTIVE.  You have to change the tape that plays in your head over and over.....that is what my therapist helped me do.  Hang in there...you will be a success story also.