Help mates, am scared to death

[ksxy]

To be short - I am in the window period of HIV test and my pressure part is I don't know if I have risk!

I am male 29y/o, to begin with, HIV isn't a risk if a unprotected penis isn't put into a woman's vagina, rectum, or (rarely) mouth. My case is I called in an escort in NYC 18 days ago. I know I have anxiety on STDs and HIV but I still called her in (how stupid); then I told her I don't want sex and asked her only to sit on a detached sofa to masturbate herself, fully naked; and I am sitting in another sofa to masturbate myself.

Right after it finishes I am in great fear. Thinking I have done the pre-marital test and about to propose to my girl friend. So I tried to recall the entire process. I know none of my skin has touched her skin but RIDICULOUSLY I cannot convince myself about my penis has no touch to her vagina!

She only stand up once from that sofa and coming to ask if I want to touch her breast; which I rejected and asked her to sit back and keep distance. So my mind is saying the only chance I could have penetrated, is to go to her and push my penis into her vagina. Then I measured the furniture and concluded that only if she could lay on the sofa in the gesture her legs are parallel to her body, and her vagina needs to be 28cm above the sofa surface that I have little chance to "touch" her vagina, while "touch" isn't penetration and I am still risk free.

But I am now even more stupid to think my memory might not be 100% accurate; but I cannot recall any details of me push in / pull out. Apart from that I remember all the conversation and gestures thanks to the time after time recalling.

I asked the doctors and fellows here but they probably think I am a bit ridiculous... and if you read  in time order you could find my fear is more and more about the "high risk" or "serious" side ...

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1241000?personal_page_id=950084
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1243813?personal_page_id=950084
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1248973?personal_page_id=950084
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1250718?personal_page_id=950084
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1252594?personal_page_id=950084

I will go to a 28 day HIV test but the problem is how to spend the 10 days left !! I am living with my gf and she already found me a bit strange when I am back home today. And it takes maybe 3-7 days to get the test result, too.

Now I am suffering from nightmare and each time when I am awake I ask myself "can I have inserted"?

Help.... I have a wonderful life which is falling apart.

[RubyWitch]

You have received answers to your questions many times, from many experts, but it's your "what if" OCD thinking causing you such anguish. Those of us on the Anxiety Forum are not unsympathetic to your concerns, but we can add nothing to what you've already been told. You need psychological help for your OCD and anxiety.
Below I have posted Dr.Handsfields response to you from the HIV Forum and feel it would be in your best interest to post any further concerns to our OCD Forum.
Please seek the help you need.
Peace
Greenlydia

by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D., May 18, 2010 11:47AM
Directly to your questions:

1) Of course there is no possible risk of HIV or other STD from these events.

2) I am amazed when people ask Dr. Hook or me (or anyone on any forum) whether they might have had sex they don't remember.  That sounds impossible to me, but you were there and I was not.  I cannot judge the quality of your memory.

I recommend against any STD testing.

For over 2 years,  you have been burning up various MedHelp forums with questions about obviously non-risky events that could not have led to HIV or any STD.  This is another one.  In other forums you have revealed your diagnosis of OCD.   That is obviously your main health issue in relation to your sexual choices.  Discuss your STD/HIV fears with the provider who is managing your OCD; or find a provider now if you're not currently in treatment.  I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.

There won't be any follow-up comments or discussion on this thread.

Regards--  HHH, MD

[RubyWitch]

You have received answers to your questions many times, from many experts, but it's your "what if" OCD thinking causing you such anguish. Those of us on the Anxiety Forum are not unsympathetic to your concerns, but we can add nothing to what you've already been told. You need psychological help for your OCD and anxiety.
Below I have posted Dr.Handsfields response to you from the HIV Forum and feel it would be in your best to post any further concerns to our OCD Forum.
Please seek the help you need.
Peace
Greenlydia

by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D., May 18, 2010 11:47AM
Directly to your questions:

1) Of course there is no possible risk of HIV or other STD from these events.

2) I am amazed when people ask Dr. Hook or me (or anyone on any forum) whether they might have had sex they don't remember.  That sounds impossible to me, but you were there and I was not.  I cannot judge the quality of your memory.

I recommend against any STD testing.

For over 2 years,  you have been burning up various MedHelp forums with questions about obviously non-risky events that could not have led to HIV or any STD.  This is another one.  In other forums you have revealed your diagnosis of OCD.   That is obviously your main health issue in relation to your sexual choices.  Discuss your STD/HIV fears with the provider who is managing your OCD; or find a provider now if you're not currently in treatment.  I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.

There won't be any follow-up comments or discussion on this thread.

Regards--  HHH, MD