How do you cope with the anxiety waves?

[BorderLineHopeful]

When I was 19 I was outgoing, adventurous, independent. I was living. I moved into my own apt, I rode the bus everywhere for transportation. I held my head high. Now, I'm a month away from turning 25, and I can't get out of my bed. The thought of riding a bus sends my anxiety into over drive. I'm the furthest thing from independent one could think of.

What bothers me, is the random waves of anxiety. Out of nowhere, it appears. My heart hurts so much, my chest gets tight, i usually end up with a slight headache, and i feel sick after. Does anyone else get these improve anxiety waves? How do you cope? They just appear out of nowhere. I get serious attacks, but I know the root of them, these waves, I can't make sense of.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Namaste

[Mopukel]

Hello! It may sound cynical, but I'm glad to hear I'm not alone on this!
I've...never really had a name for those. Just sometimes I get overpowered by some illogical fears and panic sensations about, well, the most ridiculous things in the world (train is late 2 min?!). My mood drops so, so low without any legitimate reason. Sometimes, I do get sick as a side effect maybe or just feel my heart really heavy, add insomnia as well.

At first I thought this was just PMS, when women are naturally more sensitive, but these things happen to me irrespective of when I'm before/on/straight after period(heck, even men have periods).

@DJ873: what you said:  "I would just lay in bed and cry and beg my mind for mercy." Moments like these have previously bolted me down to some unknown edges of my consciousness.

I keep wonder if it is a sickness or something. I'm months before my 22 birthday and, sure as hell, didn't have the hardest of lives so why the depression? Ok, I've had hardships like everyone but...that's not a reason for withering away...

[BorderLineHopeful]

@ Greenlydia
No need to say sorry, your joke was cute! I like to use humor to cope with all my mental health issues.

Let's clear some things up hey?

Anxiety Waves
*heart flutters
*tightness in chest
*shaky (hands in particular)
*limbs feel numb, weak and heavy (does that make sense? it alters)
*feeling nauseated but not getting sick

Anxiety Attacks
* the symptoms listed above only at a much higher intensity.
*Hyperventilating
*Feels like I may die the way my heart is racing

I hope this clarifies some things. Though right now, it's very hard to think. Please forgive me.

I am on meds right now;
1/day Citalapram 40mg ( waiting to increase to 60-80mg)
2/day Divalproex 250mg (acting as a mood stabilizer

I was on seroquil but it made me too lethargic. I've only recently been starting to see my GP. Where as where I live the buses have been on strike for 3 months and are just back on the roads. I'm hoping  that with enough self advocating, he will direct me to therapists, etc. Being in therapy once a week really helped me, but it's been over a year now.

Thank you for your msg! I will keep you posted. It's so annoying,scary, frustrating to have this gay monster coming out all the time! lol

@DJ873

I can totally relate to how you felt at the beginning.I feel like the only place I am is in my head. I plan on looking at your recommendation tonight. Thank you so much for your advice and motivation!

Namaste

[DJ873]

I used to call it panic labor, my thoughts were so out of control and it would be a "here it goes again" wave after wave after wave. I would just lay in bed and cry and beg my mind for mercy. My life saver for that situation was eckhart tolle on inner peace. We get so stuck in our thoughts and live so deep in our head that we have lost all grasp of grounding and forget to notice the moment and what is real. It has been awhile since I experienced that and when I feel the major anxiety coming I ground myself in the now. It takes alot of practice to learn to notice thoughts, to let them be and not analyze or judge them. It probably took me a month of just doing the things the books said and not really buying into it but figuring i had nothing to loose. Its been a couple of months now and I feel better every day. All the anxiety sensations have not gone away but my attitude toward them is changing. I am not feeling as much of a slave to my feelings but learning to use and direct them. It does and can get better!!! live in hope and determintation

[RubyWitch]

When you say that an "anxiety wave" makes it impossible to get out of bed and riding the bus sends your anxiety into overdrive, I can't imagine what one of your "serious attacks" must be like! Could you repost and explain how they differ.

One of the most frightening aspects of anxiety/panic attacks IS the fact that they do come out of nowhere. They ARE the monster coming out of the closet. (Which I guess would make them a gay monster. Sorry)

If there is a very distinct difference between an anxiety wave and a serious attack, perhaps the anxiety wave is "anticipatory anxiety." A constant state of anxiouness waiting for the next serious attack.
Long tern antianxiety meds like Klonopin control both the anticipatory and actual anxiety/panic.

Are you on any meds? In therapy?
I would urge you to see your doctor for a complete check up and a discussion about what's going on with the anxiety.  
Sometimes we just can't do it without some help.
Let us know how you're doing, OK?
Peace
Greenlydia