I am very anxious. I am certain I contracted HIV.

[worriedman407]

Hello, I am very worried, anxious, depressed and scared. I'm a gay man. Almost 2 months ago, February 12th I stayed out late and to my own misfortune got very drunk and came home with a guy. I did use a condom with him however, at some point it came off and that is the bit I cannot remember. Ever since i suspected I may have contracted HIV. I never had symptoms for the first 6 weeks. I went to get a test, rapit test and ELISA test which both came back negative. Following the results I started to get symptoms, mild fever/flu like feelings, I had a flat rash or spots in my inner arm and the same on the other inner arm, slight dull ache in my left joint. Headache, I've been anxious and not sleeping. I am just so terrified I feel like my world is falling apart just when my life is meant to be at it's best. I know I Have all the symptoms it has now been 7 weeks and I will be getting tested on Monday. I know the guy was a stranger and he looked like the sort who sleeps around. It was a huge mistake and I never ever normally do this. However it will be one i Live to regret. I Need someone to talk to because im suffering through this alone and if i Have it no one can know. I just dont know what to do. I have all the symptoms I am certain I have it. Worst of all I could have gone for PEP when it happened but was uninformed due to being naive and stupid. I'd always been careful it never really was something i thought id research into. Till now. I feel i Have all the symptoms. Oh and I Have swollen lymph nodes. I feel almost as if everytime I research symptoms they happen. I havent had a temperature yet. The flu went after a week. Before these came on I had gone out a lot that week before and shared drink with someone who had a temperature or so they said. I also have a cough now and tingling in my lips. Oh dear. I just know I have it. So i am trying to prepare. I am a university student. How will I maintain my way of living, or change it? i need a lot of advice and someone to talk to. What will i do without my family or friends or anyone knowing to ensure I can live without obvious symptoms. HELP please.

[worriedman407]

Haha okay I hear you guys, maybe I should try and forget it. The symptoms still persist though which is fuelling my anxiety. Its quite interesting its like on one hand your brain, logic tells you your fine. But your body and symptoms say the opposite haha, like a fight between both really. Though the doctor and nurse echoed what you said thats when I realised okay maybe its my anxiety thats the problem here.

[RubyWitch]

My oh my...........what a WONDERFUL day!

And the ONLY one who is surprised by your results is you.    :)

Peace (at last)
Greenlydia

[nursegirl6572]

NO!!!!!  Thats the VERY last thing you want to do, honestly.  Do you know how many people we have seen with that exact same mindset who only kept themselves in the obsessive thinking?

To educate yourself about HIV on a general basis is fine, but honestly, you really need to just put this behind you once you get your conclusive result.  Otherwise, you really run the risk of fueling your anxiety and turning this into an HIV Phobia.

[worriedman407]

Thanks so much.... okay well I hope the symptoms go away. I'll see a GP at least I am negative so far. You were all right that shocked me. Thanks though I am really interested in HIV now, not getting it but like how it works. I want to support HIV positive people you know. I might stick around these forums, and also through my wait till the 3 month mark aha.

[nursegirl6572]

We had NO doubt, see?

You now have a better chance of getting hit my lightning than you do of your test becoming positive at this point.  With the advances in testing, you would have almost definitely tested pos by now had you contracted HIV.

The 3 months is necessary, but more of a formality!

CONGRATS!  NOW ALLOW YOURSELF A BREAK FROM ALL OF THR WORRYING AND ANXIETY!!!!  Breathe a little!

[worriedman407]

I mean REACTIVE or INTERMEDIATE*