I think I have cancer, help please..

[mrsboston3122]

Hi everyone, my brain has been going non stop for a few days now! As some of you may have read I have been having tons of really crazy symptoms for the past couple months and cancer keeps coming up in my brain. I am now convinced that I have given myself cancer. I believe that I have let my anxiety kill me. I think that I am dying and that I caused myself to get cancer from all the x-rays and cat scans that I have had! I have had many cat scans and many, many x rays! Every time I have some crazy symptom I go running to the doctor or running to the ER where they do all kinds of testing on me.

I have been having panic attacks and super high anxiety since Thursday because of this. My stomach is tied in knots and I can not stop thinking that I have killed my own self, cut my life short because I could not accept the fact that I was healthy. I keep thinking my kids are going to grow up without a mother and its my fault.

I can not stop crying and I can not stop thinking about this despite taking my medication around the clock. I dont care now how bad my symptoms get, I do not want any more x rays or cat scans. I am going to stop going to the doctors. I really need to get over this health anxiety. I am slowly killing myself, I am my own worse enemy!

Is there anyone out here like me, that has had tons of x rays and cat scans because you just keep pushing for more and more testing? I am not even kidding, I have had more scans then I can remember and some of them in a short amount of time. I am beside myself right now. I have been feeling like I am on the heels of death for a few months now with symptom after symptom, I literally feel my body falling apart. I have been having this numb feeling on my back, you know like when you hit your elbow that numb feeling? It does not hurt just feels funny. Anyway it was just a small spot on my back and came every now and then but for the past week it has been non stop and wont go away, it also is no longer a small spot, it has gotten bigger and goes down my spine. Its the left side of my spine, on it and to the side, goes from the bottom of my shoulder area, you know that bone that sticks out in your back to the middle of my back and I am very scared!

I look at people around me happy and going on with their life but I do not see a future for myself.

[nursegirl6572]

I agree wholeheartedly with everyone's posts.  It's time to accept what the doctors are saying (and the test results) and start addressing the anxiety/panic.  We've all been where you are now, and know how awful it is.  You DO need to take your life back and not be a slave to anxiety anymore.  You're stuck in that anxiety cycle of thinking and worrying..."what iffing" yourself into a frenzy.

With professional help, you can and will reclaim your life and give your kids their Mom back.  Take that first step and get yourself an appt with a psychiatrist, who can thoroughly assess you, give you an accurate diagnosis and start the discussion about treatment options.

Treatment takes time, work and patience, and you won't feel perfect overnight, but you WILL get there!

We're here for you...please let us know how you're doing!

[erin626]

the scans they use do not dramatically increase your chances of cancer. People that use a tanning bed regularly have a better chance of developing cancer. I've heard that having multiple mri's can increase cancer risks in patients by a miniscule amount but it was primarily in patients with a genetic predisposition to cancer. And the results were unfounded and were merely speculation. In this day and age apparently everything COULD potentially increase cancer risks..ie cell phones. But unfortunately its all just guesswork. You are no more at risk for cancer than you were before the tests. And worrying about it will not cause cancer to develop.

I've had ct scans, mri's, xrays etc etc and I'm a heavy smoker and I'm still in good health. I got myself so worked up over my health anxiety that I literally lost a year of my life to doctors and hospitals. Never believing that I was not horribly ill. It turns out I'm not horribly ill and my anxiety caused the majority of my symptoms. It turns out all the distressful stomach issues I was having were nothing more than food intolerances being exacerbated by my anxiety. So a tight muscle to you all of a sudden turns into terminal cancer just like some indigestion to me was some horrible disease. I sought therapy and after a lot of work I've calmed down. I still have my moments but I know how to control the fear now.

You need to see a mental health specialist and stop wasting time on all these tests that aren't helping your anxiety issues.

[Londres70]

For starts, are you taking anything for your anxiety?  Sounds like you were having a panic attack as you were typing your post.  Have you thought about seeing a therapist?  You need to seek help or more help.    

Any medical history?  

Not to be rude, from looking at your picture you appear to be overweight.  Have you had any low thyroid, vitamin D, etc. labs?

In my opinion, I think it could be something metabolic or just pure anxiety.  I would recommend consulting an Endocrinologist and a psychotherapist.  

BTW:  You can't GIVE yourself cancer by thinking about it.  That is NOT possible.  

[Pum]

Oh honey. You really need to see a doctor. Not for more tests but to discuss your anxiety and depression. Your comments about seeing no future are very typical of depression. You will come out of this and be back to your old self. It will take some time and possibly some medications.

To answer your specific question. Each X-ray and CAT scan would only increase your risks of cancer a tiny tiny amount. Even if all your tests doubled your risks that would mean instead of a 1 % lifetime risk of lymphoma you would have a 2% risk ie 98% chance of not getting it. And there is no way all your tests have doubled your risk anyway I just use it as an example.

Your numb feeling is muscular. Either from something you are doing (I got that exact same thing when I was breastfeeding as I was looking down at my baby too much. Once I stared straight ahead it went away) or just from being tense. Try a warm bath to help relax your muscles.

I have been in your shoes and it is no fun. Your kids need their old mummy back. Medication helped me (benzos for a couple of weeks until the paxil kicked in). I did a 6 month course and haven't needed to be on them again and this was years ago. There are self help things you can try but you sound like you're in a highly anxious state.

You have not cut your life short.

Take care and please see a doctor about your mental state. Life doesn't have to be like this.