I don't know what to do!!!

[JenLyn25]

I have constant anxiety and I'm sick of having to take a pill just to make it through the day especially when it doesn't help most of the time. I'm pregnant and taking Xanax XR (I can't stop taking it because I'm dependent on it and go into severe withdrawals that lead to convulsions, so my Doctors thought it was best to stay on it and try to taper down.) But it doesn't help my anxiety and they won't put me on anything that does, they keep trying to give me SSRIs but I've taken a lot of them over the past several years and none of them work for me, they make me depressed and do nothing for my anxiety. I just want to feel better but it just gets worse and worse. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt my baby and I feel guilty for having to take Xanax but stress isn't good for the baby either and no one will help me, I feel so alone. They treat me like I'm a drug addict and I'm not at all, I just want to be able to catch my breath, not feel my pulse race, sleep and live as normal as I can and I can't help if I need medication at the moment to do that. :(

[erin626]

Therapy is a great way to eventually stop relying on meds. I used to take xanax 3 times daily but after starting with a therapist I take it maybe once a week if at all.
Medication for anxiety is great to help through the rough times but therapy will really help in the long run.

I'm not sure if there are any pain meds that you can take while pregnant but I'm assuming if the doc doesn't want to give any its probably best not to take them.

Have you tried a heating pad or a warm bath? I know its not a great fix but it does help. I had knee surgery a couple years ago and I can't take pain pills because they don't agree with my stomach. I was in terrible pain but a warm bath always helped relax me and help the pain ease up a bit.

Feeling better may seem impossible now but its not. I wish I could even begin to describe how sick and anxious I was back in september but no words can describe the hell I went through. I never thought I'd get better..but I have. I'm not 100% better but I will be. As hard as it sounds..stay optimistic. You can and will feel better and having the new baby will be such a joy. I'll be praying for you.

[JenLyn25]

I wish I didn't have to take medications at all but I've dealt with depression, anxiety and insomnia all of my life and the pregnancy is making it all worse, not to mention the pain I'm in, my back and knee kills me and I usually can't sleep because of the pain and if I do I usually wake up in pain crying and then I stress out even more and that causes the pain to be worse because the stress makes me even more tense. I know I'm not an addict, I just wish my Doctors could agree on at least a pain medication I could take because the pain and anxiety are becoming really debilitating. I just want my baby to be healthy and I want to feel better, why is that too much to ask and why does it seem so impossible?

[erin626]

I'm so sorry you're going through this but keep in mind that you are not hurting your baby. Doing what's best for you is best for the baby and stopping the xanax would put you at risk of all kinds of nasty withdrawal symptoms that wouldn't be good for baby at all. That being said..you are not an addict and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. You were prescribed those pills to better your quality of life and attempt to help you live a better life. People with debilitating anxiety need their meds just as people with heart problems or diabetes need their meds. Unfortunately anti anxiety meds and ssris are addicting but unless you're stealing meds or displaying other drug seeking behavior such as falsifying prescriptions etc you aren't an addict.

The best I can tell you is talk to your doc about the xanax not working and after your pregnancy potentially getting on a new anti anxiety med like klonopin. Its a long acting benzo that works well for a lot of people. If your doc isn't helpful..maybe find a new doc. They work for you and you need to be happy with them. Talk therapy is also helpful. Good luck and if you need anything someone is usually hear to lend an ear and offer advice.

[BeeFree]

Hi JenLyn25,

You are doing the right thing in tapering off Xanax to avoid any harmful withdrawals, especially whilst being pregnant. I am also very happy to hear that the doctors are refusing to prescribe you any other medications and I promise you with every fiber of my being, you will be grateful for this too. As you've learned through your own experience with SSRIs, they do not solve the problem. Xanax is also not solving the problem because anxiety and depression cannot be cured through medicinal means. It can dampen the symptoms, but will never "cure" the issue, and will hand over a load of other problems for you to deal with as well. Anxiety and depression can be truly cured only with alternative methods-- coming to the root of the issue. You have to know what it is you truly fear before you can know how to fix it, right?  I think it would do you and your baby a lot of good if you did some real soul-searching to come to terms with that is truly scaring you. Not just your responsibilities, but you as a person. What is it you don't trust? What is it that worries you? You cannot overcome anxiety if you don't face what is making you anxious. Once you know what that is, you can take the necessary steps to dissolving them. And most of all, look at your thoughts objectively. Like I tell everyone else, your thoughts are only thoughts. That's it. They are not real and they are completely in your control. If a certain thought doesn't serve you, choose a different one! We are conditioned to believe that worrying prevents certain events from happening, but this is false. Worrying does not prevent anything from happening. So why do it?
Next time you feel those worrysome thoughts tugging at you, tell them to take a hike and focus on the new, exciting adventure you are on. It is absolutely true that when you pay more attention to the good things in your life, more of it will come your way.
Have fun with this! Once the baby comes you'll be that much closer to being completely off of Xanax and you can start fresh. Look forward to that.

If you ever need an ear or have any other questions, I'm only a message away.

All the best,
Brittany, Ph.D.