Is this derealization im experiencing?

[bittersweet84]

I have struggled with borderline personality disorder and extreme anxiety since a
very early age. I was on medication for many years until about 5 years ago when I
decided to stop the meds and continue with psychotherapy. I had been
"successful"( married,beautiful baby,good job)but life still seemed somewhat
hard and more painful than it should,including the fact that besides having to
deal with the bpd and panic attacks,my husband is an emotional abuser. A few
days ago,I was in Kmart,an all of a sudden got the oddest sensation that nothing
was real.NOTHING.The articles weren't real, the noises weren't really there,the
people weren't real,my daughter was fake! It was completely debilitating.I
couldn't shake it off,it got progressively worse.To the point that I "convinced"
myself that other people weren't real,that they were zombie,lifeless,they would
respond to me but there wasn't any life inside.A COMPLETELY CRIPPLING
THOUGHT.I began to feel the same way about objects, not being able to trust if
that tree was really there,even when I reached up to touch it,i wasn't
convinced.This was all accompanied by horrible panic attacks.That night I thought I
was going insane.I cried myself to sleep.Although i am better than that day,(3
days ago)it still feels like there's a veil that I can't quite lift no matter how hard i
try.Although i'm no longer hysterical,i don't feel like myself at all.The best way i
can describe it is that i was dreaming and im sloooowly waking up. Or like when
your hand goes numb and you slowly start feeling it again.Please help.What can I
do to feel better? Is there anything wrong with me?

[Fayona]

it could be from the abuse from your husban, derealization for me is a way to escape, to with draw. Its a defense mecanism. For me at least. I think you may have some emotional trama, and the anxiety only fuels it as well. Get a counsalar and if you feel you need the helps of meds then go back on it but only if you feel confortable with it.

You are far from insane trust me i've had it horrible, but u need to also try to be strong, ask people if you can touch them if you need make a note that you can look at that says yes its real. Finding stablility in what feels like it doesnt exsist is hard, but you are not crazy at all. I cant say that enough. Touching things helped me, and reminding my self of what is real but a counsalar will help tuns.

[jupsie]

Why did you go off your meds? It's best to just take the prper meds that work best for you. Would you deny yourself meds if you were diabetic? Or high blood pressure? or Thyroid disease?