Need help from depression due to fear of STD's

[vishal627]

In 2007 I had kissed a call girl, I did not know about HSV-1  can spread through kissing. I did not get symptoms till last year October 2010, I got a single bubble near mucus membrane in August, September & October and again in February 3 times in 6 days ! I have mild over salivation some times !

I was worried about HSV-1 .......!

I consulted Dermatologists & Sexologists since past November 2010. Dermatologist told me to under go ELISA anti-body blood tests in November,  My HSV-1 & 2 results came negative.......but still the ELISA anti-body tests are not 100% accurate.

After I told my symptoms and clinical checkup since many times, All doctors have told to forget the disease and I am fine, still  I am very sad !!!!

I took HSV-1 & 2 tests again in January still came negative......!

I am living with anxiety & depression, that I will never have courage to get into new relationship or get married, till I get 100% sure. Dermatologists said it is mucocele, but still nothing is guaranteed....I read in website that HSV-1 ..Virus can be in nerves and activate any time between 12 weeks of infection till 15 years !!!! How will anyone can live with peace if this the truth in doubtful and results are not 100% accurate!!!!

I have met 4 dermatologists & 2 sexologists. They all have told not to worry....I get depressed especially at night....I check my lips and mouth at least 4 to 5 times a day & at night I feel worried and very depressed to see inside mouth and lips. I am trying very hard....to over come but still........

.I am sad.....I have done degree in psychology in Bachelors......but dont know how to overcome my own  problem...  Please let me know what should I do to overcome my depression.......very tough to get this out of my brain !!! If there is a problem there must be a solution or way which will relieve me from mental tension !!!

[vishal627]

Dear Friends,

             I am thankful to all of you..........for providing words to live with some faith.....I am working hard....hopefully I will come out of depression. Please keep in touch !

[vishal627]

Yes, due to my anxiety, I am not doing anything properly, I am forgetting things to do for work. I am only worried because in web sites they say results are not 100% accurate. Also I had repeated symptoms. 2 dermatologists & 1 STD specialist said dont worry it is mucocele inside mouth not HSV-1 and negative results . So I was confused. But slowly, I am getting little bit of relief from this forum.

          When I see some messages, it gives some relief to my heart,

Please let me know why   get more depressed at night than morning, I am not sure what could be the reason of anxiety & depression at night than morning?  

[DJ873]

you are really no different than the rest of us who logically know our fears are unfounded but obsess anyway, that is why we are all on here to support and share with each other. Phobias are cruel and viscious we are masters at creating a living hell out of the tricks our minds play on us. Letting go of a fear is never easy even tho for me to look at yours and wonder why you can't accept good news i can look at mine now more closely and see that i do the same about other things. That actually helped me gain a new awareness. That my fears are as unfounded as yours so as you accept I  can too. so now that you know it is your thinking and not a disease maybe you can find some peace. Try reading "taming your Gremlins" it helps to notice thoughts and keep perspective

[nursegirl6572]

Your test results speak for themselves, now you need to continue to work with a professional who can help you address the anxiety and help you move forward from this!

[vishal627]

         Thanks.......sorry when I get anxious, I dont have any options just needed to build more confidence to come out  of my depression by asking questions and confirming with people like you who have seen, heard, know something better than me.

         As this forum is patient to patient & also users with some common ideas & interests to discuss....very badly I needed more opinions which can give me a sign of relief ! I am sorry if I have just tried too much to  compare opinions among different sources.

You are right, I must have faith in the doctors who have told me not to worry & also negative results of ELISA Test- three times......are just better....than too many exceptions which I must not think to increase my anxiety.

[RubyWitch]

Since none of us are doctors on this forum, and we certainly aren't psychiatrists nor sexologist.............we're just everyday people like you, why would you want US to second guess what your psychiatrist told you? It just doesn't make any sense. You've been told by medical professionasl that you have nothing to worry about. How many times would you need to hear that before you'd believe it?

The truth and the bottom line is that you had no risk. If you cannot accept that, then you need to get into therapy and figure out why.

We can continue to offer support, but our answer will remain the same.
I wish you peace
Greenlydia

[vishal627]

I consulted a psychiatrist & sexologists he spoke to me for 1 hour  about my case and said not to worry as HSV-1 does not come like this way of symptom.  If I overcome this anxiety I can overcome 1000 more.....just need help to clear my doubts which can clear my stress & anxiety of disease !

[cj29]

I think you should start by going to seek counseling for your anxiety.  Health anxiety can manifest itself in certain ways, but in my opinion there are also certain patterns and underlying causes that link them together.  In my experience, you can dig on the internet and find anything that justifies any of your worries no matter how improbable it might be.  For me, the best step I ever took was to actually recognize that I had a problem with it and then go seek help for it....keep us posted!

[vishal627]

--- Thank you....1st time since august....2010.....I had some relief. by your words....but still in many websites it is written that results show negative for HSV-1 in spite of person who may be positive.

-- This is because the virus may be in the cells of the nervous system and may activate any time from 12 weeks to 15 years of exposure....even though the result may show negative..as anti-bodies have not formed at that point of time and also the ant-bodies may go down or rise anytime during a long run....Is ELISA test still reliable?

---Elisa test is to test whether there are any ant-bodies are formed against HSV-1 infection. Even an infected person may have no anti bodies formed till 12 years or may show negative. The test does not check for the presence  virus.

---100's of sites have given this same  information that ant-body tests are of doubtful, and also I had kissed a call girl so I am worried. I never knew that even kissing can spread infections.

Dermatologist, STD specialists have told me not to worry I dont have any abnormalities.....still the websites which provide information have made me worry a lot.  When I saw images and pictures of HSV-1 I got shocked and worried, depressed !!!!

Please let me know how should I over come my problem.

I thought to ask the call girl whom I had kissed, but still I am sure she will never tell the truth !!! I dont know what is the other way to clear my mind.... !

          In psychology, we have methods to help others to overcome from fears which are designed specifically for each patient, based on each cases. Like people who get scared of blood (Hemo phobia), Acro phobhia ( height), Necto Phobhia ( spider net)  were treated by knowing the in depth cause in subconscious mind. I have Venero Phobhia, I dont know where the solution lies & what treatment .

[RubyWitch]

You never had a risk.
The Elisa test is 100% accurate at 12 weeks.
What you should do, and as a trained psychologist should have known, it to get yourself into therapy to deal with all the issues you have.
Peace
Greenlydia