I hope posting here can give me some answers.

[MikeUK12]

Hi readers.

Im posting here as im not sure what else more I can do for myself at this present moment.

I don't think ive ever struggled with anxiety before but ive certainly had some minor mental health problems (no motivation, feeling down when there is no need for me to be).

My anxiety was caused by a incident 8 weeks ago where i had protected sex (no risk at all for hiv) with a girl i knew. I thought i began to feel symptoms and have spent the last 8 weeks thinking ive actually had HIV or some other terrible health problem, i had a negative test at 4 and 6 weeks which did make things better but im still struggling from the effects the anxiety has had.

Alot of symptoms have come and gone over the last 8 weeks, most have gone, with only numb hands and sore joints remaining.

My main problem is struggling with sleep, i haven't had a good nights sleep in over two weeks, i have no idea why because I believe im over the HIV thing now (as im not thinking about it all day and in bed at night like i was in previous weeks). I went to bed at 12am tonight and woke up at 1.15am (it felt id slept for longer), when i went to bed I felt fine, but since ive got up ive just felt like i want to cry, my heads just started thinking about all negative things in my life, apart from all the positives and i can feel my head trying to sneak back into looking out for symptoms of HIV again (although im not going to let it).

I really don't know why this is happening to me, its like i cant control my own life at the moment, ive got 0 motivation for even the simplest of everyday task, i can think of what id like to do with my day tomorrow and ill just put it off the whole day and get nothing done.

Hoping you guys can give me some tips on where you think i should take it from here, i hope i haven't overreacted my case and made myself sound like a bit of a depressive lunatic, because generally im not like that at all.

Thanks for reading.

[cj29]

I agree...you don't just snap out of it.  It can be a long hard process overcoming anxiety; as with any problem in life.  There are many things you can do, but I know I sound like a broken record, if you have read many of my posts, but I believe some of the best 'cures' from this are through counseling with a therapist.  It is absolutely amazing how much one can learn about why you are in a funk, anxious, depressed, etc...knowledge is really power when it comes to overcoming this in my opinion.

I also think that you are already on the right track.  By coming here and posting, you realize 'something' is wrong and you want to confront it....I always tell people to remember to give themselves credit by recognizing the problem and the willingness to confront it...let us know how it goes!

[Beewoman]

Linda, what you wrote was lovely!  No-one could have put it any better and with such a positive spin!

Mike, if you read this thread a few times you will be able to drink in the positive energy in between the lines and it will give you strength.  Knowing that others "know" exactly how you feel is comforting.

There are lots of techniques that could help you: visualization is a good one, google it and you come up with a whole list of sites that can help you, relaxation and breathing techniques are good too.  Herbal teas (Camomile etc) are good for you before you go to sleep, try and visualize yourself having a great nights sleep and waking up feeling rested.

People that say to you "snap out of it" really have no clue what they are talking about, forgive them.  However, everyone on this forum does know and what is great is that you can post anything here at any time of day and there is always someone, somewhere on a different time that can answer.

Good luck, you will start to feel better, little by little, day by day....

[Linda121954]

Hi Mike

My son has had very similar problems for the past few weeks.  His wasn't HIV, it was cancer.

He has been like you for the last few weeks and just could NOT move that damned "black dog". OK, lets see, what could HE possibly have to worry about?

He has a beautiful wife;
a good paying job;
a gorgeous dog;
a large house (mortgaged of course);
nice car;
hes good looking;
he has a fantastic personality!!!!

Wow! Thats sort of a perfect life isn't it?

Not when the black dog (depression) or insidious little mongrel worm (OCD) come for a visit to upset your applecart.......you have to learn to outmanouvere them I'm afraid.

When do you reckon they visit, just a few scenario's where they think they were invited to visit you:

You are SO confident you are going to get that job - you don't; LOSS Of CONFIDENCE/FACE you have to tell the family, friends, girfriend and worst, work colleagues you didn't get it;

you have an underlying fear of death and have just heard that someone you went to school is dying from HIV/CANCER/BRAIN TUMOUR - ABSOLUTE FEAR (OMG it could be me, I might have it as well);

Christmas (or your birthday) is near; you are TERRIFIED that you are going to HATE the present and it will show on your face;

you hit a bird or a cat or dog and kill it, and the thought of it and its grieving family is playing on your mind (GUILT)

I am no counsellor (just suffered through all of this all my life), but I know of these triggers, they are totally irrational, and when you are feeling a wee bit anxious, well, it can just set it off, and the visitors jump on you with alacrity!!! Weeeeeeeeeeee're baaaaaaaaaaaaack..................

Suggest seeing your doctor first, a psychologist, short term medication (long term if needed), forums like this to see you are NOT alone and realise that the number ONE overpowering though of those suffeing anxiety is DEATH.

Personally, the first few times I suffered anxiety I suffered in silence and did just what you did above, wanted to just get away and delve myself into the depths of despair.  Finally realised the best medicine is to talk about it, and ain't the internet great!!!! you have medcial professionals to help, you have experts on just about everything (if you need something fixed), whats wrong with the plant in your garden - google it!!!  Most of all though is you have great forums like this where normal (yeah, ok, the jury may still be out) people can tell their story and tell you what they did for help.

I don't know what your trigger was, maybe you like this girl a lot and the thought of her having HIV is so abhorrent to you, your minds done the reverse....dunno, the mind is a wonderful tool isn't it?

Promise me you will go and see your doctor and be TOTALLY truthful about your fears and how you are feeling. My son did, and seen a psychologist, and he's just about back to (thank god) his old very funny, gorgeous self.

Mike, what you are feeling is very real, and very fearful, and  terribly debilitating for you and those around you.  The worst thing someone could say to you is "crikey mate, snap out of it", but I can tell you, you will get over it, and hopefully it will just fade into the background as you get on with the rest of your very normal life, and you can at some time tell someone your story and how you coped, and your words will help heal them.  

And all the very best, hope you have a terrific Christmas and a very happy New Year.

Linda