You guys are awesome. I've been struggling to deal with this stuff on my own inside my head for so long, and to write about it on here was hard. To receive such informative and compassionate responses - and so quickly! - makes me feel a lot more confident about going and talking to someone about this stuff.
Thank you.
There is something called the Pure O form of OCD, which is purely obsessional thoughts which may or may not have compulsions with it. Most of the time, there are no visual compulsions, all the neutralizing and or ritual like behaviors usually happens within the mind. I don't know if your symptoms really fit that definition, but it might be worth checking. However it does sound pretty similar to my anxiety, I've always been quite a worrier about family or friends being hurt. If I can't reach my mom the first time I call her I immediately think the worst. I now have some generalized anxiety along with the pure O, so it's good times all around :p
It would be worth a trip to your doc to see what they think. If the thoughts are intrusive, nerve wracking, or just plain annoying it doesn't hurt to ask a doc's opinion on the matter. There's no reason for you to suffer when there are things out there that can help you, even if it's just learning some relaxation or cognitive behavior techniques from a psychologist, no meds required. Good luck!!!
It sounds like you haven't truly mourned the loss you suffered and it's manifesting itself in this way. When we try to forget things and think we have, they are just tucked neatly away, and at some point will make you deal with them by showing up as anxiety, with symptoms like you're experiencing. It's imperative that you address the cause of this anxiety, and deal with it so you can move on. Take care..
You definitely should see someone about this. Doesn't necessarily sound like OCD...with OCD the obsessive thoughts are usually accompanied by obsessive actions as well. You sound a bit like me, I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) I often have thoughts that repeat over and over and I worry about things excessively. Like you, if I am waiting for someone and they are late I immediately assume something horrible has happened and tend to panic until I know things are alright. I get a bad headache and think its a brain tumor, I worry about things I see on TV, I worry about worrying, you name it I've probably worried about it at some point. Its a tough thing to deal with but talking about it definitely helps. I would start with your GP and see if they can refer to a therapist that specializes in anxiety disorders. Hope I helped at least a little :)
OCD isn't obsessive thinking, it's obsessive thinking combined with obsessive actions. Everyone with mental disorders suffers from obsessive thoughts. I would say it's time to see a therapist and get to the bottom of this.