So are you saying that in 12 YEARS you have not been able to find any help for your problem? I see that you have tried, but apparently, nothing has worked. Since it seems that outside noises are causing you the most difficulty, I would suggest an appointment with an audiologist to have your hearing thoroughly checked out. But I may have misinterpreted what you said, which was that you began to "link" your anxiety and depression to "barking dogs and people eating."
Since you have already sought out therapy for this, it hardly makes sense for me to suggest it again. Which I'm afraid leaves me with little to offer you aside from the possibility, however remote, that it may have something to do with your hearing and that perhaps certain frequency of sounds is troublesome to you.
I hope others here will have better suggestion and I wish you the best. It can't be easy.
Peace
Greenlydia