PLS HELP ME im so scared and dont know what to do

[nervousmelly]

a little history: I have had severe panic disorder and anxiety since I was 6 yrs old, my mother took me to a child therapist for this. I have been on meds since age 17..starting with phenergan, then buspar, then trazadon,seroquel,etc.. finally at age 24 they started me on klonopin. Finally i had true relief.

Now  I'm 30 and have been on Xanax (.5mg 3-4 times day)and celexa( 40 mg once per day)for 4 years now. This changed my life. I went from having daily panic attacks and constant anxiety, to having no more than 2 episodes per month. BIG relief.

heres my problem, Now I have developed a tolerance and have been having to take approx 4mg per day of xanax. Now I am almost out and still have 2 weeks b4 I can refill.

i am petrified of going through withdrawel. I wish I could just go into my dr and be honest with him, so he can help me wean back down and get back on track..but he has shown me that he is very unsympathetic. One time I went in 2 weeks early and told him I was having to take more, he became very agitated with me and lectured me about taking more than prescribed and how he is held accountable for every pill he gives me bla bla bla. no suggestions on how to wean back to my proper dose, he just wrote my script as usual and pushed me out the door, as usual.  

You would think he would take into account that I have been on this dose for 4 years!! and help me, not abandon me.  

MY PLAN: I am thinking about going to another dr locally and getting a script, and use a diff pharmacy. ONE TIME. Just to bridge me over. I really have no other choice (except to detox at home) I am going to have to take matters INTO MY OWN HANDS and taper down back to my normal dose, get back on track and live happily ever after.

My question is this: This is concidered dr shopping..isnt it? what could happen? how could they find this out? I am only doing it ONCE. because I fear getting red flagged and or dropped abandoned completely by all drs. That is scary!!  
SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE ANSWER ME I AM SO DESPERATE FOR HELP AND ADVICE... all advice is welcome.

[Mikey17]

Hi n.n
If you're uncomfortable with your doctor.. please change doctors. You need somebody who generally sympathises for you. Anxiety disorders can be horrible and need to be approached with care.
Even though you seem to be a person of great Anxiety and you obviously depend on medication, there are other ways that can help your anxiety which don't require meds. Personally you can help yourself through mental imagery, techniques, meditation(VERY HELPFUL), and just general eating, sleeping and exercising habits help keep your anxiety on the low. Basically what I am saying is, if you feel discouraged because you are having some problems with the dosage of your medication I suggest trying to help yourself through something like mediation and personal self help techniques. I strongly suggest seeing a different doctor or even a psych who does not prescribe meds (somebody who can teach you some techniques to help with your anxiety). Just remember when you have anxiety to 'accept',  breathe properly and try and make a passive change in attitude to try and melt into a non-anxiety state. I hope you all the best. You have our support

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

my heart goes out to you , as i know how scarey it can be to be without your meds. first xanax is not a good long term med, its a short acting med in the blood and your body will want more and more , shame on your dr for giving you this drug knowing you have anxiety and its a long term fight.   my mom took this pill for 4 year or more if she did not have it she got very anxiety/panic and felt as if she could not breath. you need to know your ok its the med making you feel this way since you have not took it.  i think you need to get another dr that cares more about you than pushing you out his door.   your taking way to much of that drug, you need to wing off of it and go on a long term drug that your body will not want more of. klonopin is a long term med and it has very little side affects.   plz get help winging off that med and get you a good support person  who you can call when your into a attack, i found out that helped me more to have someone to understand me and be there for me than any med ever did. prayers are with you. plz keep in touch. if you run out of meds than go to hospital they might help you out for a few days.,

[jeannegirl]

It is very hard sometimes for doctors to really understand anxiety. The control thing. Sometimes you have to shop for a doctor who is going to understand and really pay attention to your needs. Just tell your doctor now that you and he need to put together a better plan control your anxiety. If he is not willing change doctors. Lord knows I have been where you are. What I do is break my pills in half cause sometimes a half is just enough to get that anxiety down.. that way you actually have more t spare

[Jcrow28]

If you have an insurance plan it won't take long to figure out what you were doing and it probably wouldn't look good to your doctors. If you don't have insurance than I don't think they would likely find out without you signing a medical records release. Too bad you did have my doctors, they try to pour xanax down your throat and I don't even take the stuff anymore. I still a perscription for 90x .5mg / 8 refills, but I wouldn't need it because I have probably 300 pills left from past prescriptions. If you lived close by I would just give you some. I would reccomed just trying to stop but since your on klonopin you might not have very bad withdraw symptoms. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

[carmen802]

maybe your doctor needs to up your antidepressant? Maybe then you wouldn't need so much Xanax.Ask him about this.