Hey there,
so here is a little about me. I am 20 yrs old med student. I have high IQ and I can learn most of the things I have to for an exam in pretty short time. The problem is, I do not believe in myself and I hate myself. So, although I prepare myself for every lesson and I study during semester, I am unable to pass the exams at the end. Or when I do pass, I feel like the teachers feel sorry for me and give me a passing grade. Then, when I think about it, I feel worthless and stupid. And because I hate myself, I tend to punish myself by cutting, hitting, not eating etc. I've been dealing this for a few years now, but it's getting worse and worse and now I am in state that whatever happens, I feel like the bad person, who did something wrong and so I punish myself. But I haven't been always like this. When I was a kid I used to be very active. These days, I don't really do anything anymore, because I am scared I will do something wrong and I am worried about others' opinion.