Could my anxiety be causing all of these symptoms?

[AnaLioneye]

Here is a little background: For a year, I smoked weed every day all day. At around the ned of September 2008, I smoked some weed and then had a veryy bad trip which consisted of Panic Attacks and just plain weirdness. And it didn't go away. I woke up the next day and I felt the same. It's been 7 months since then and I am still dealing with it.

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety.

Question: My anxiety is more subconscious so I can't control it as much. I am getting really bad depersonalization and derealization. It's really affecting my life. I'm also getting strange feelings in my head that feel like theres a balloon that is being blown up and my eyes feel like they are moving in towards eachother and it is hard to focus.

As for medication, I took Celexa for 3 days about 1or 2 months ago, and I was super sensitive to it so I had side effects and I felt worse even after I stopped. She next prescribed Prozac but am afraid to start it because I don't want things to go bad.

I'm really worried as to what exactly is going on. I've been to countless doctors and they can't find anything. I just have a feeling in the back of my head that this might be something more than just anxiety. I just want to feel the way I did before all this because, frankly, it's ruining my life.

[birdie0907]

What you describe sound like Celexa type effects, only hugely magnified so they wouldn't be of positive benefit. You must be supersensitive to that drug as you describe, although I didn't think you could get an effect after a few days, but didn't check with my pharmacist to verify. Nothing more I can add, other than agreeing with cj's advice.
Good luck all.

[cj29]

I actually had the same experience with Celexa...I felt that I was feeling 'too good' and switched to Zolfot, which was a much better fit for me.  Remember, medications affect people in different ways...while one may be a great choice for someone, it may not have the desired results for the next.  Sometimes it is a little trial and error with medications like these to find the right 'fit.'  

[ILADVOCATE]

Ask your psychiatrist what your primary diagnosis is. Lamictal is a mood stabilizer. That is generally prescribed for bipolar. Anti-depressents can worsen mania. Have your psychiatrist adjust your medications overall and although only a psychiatrist can determine what is the correct treatment if you do have bipolar a mood stabilizer such as Lamictal at a full dose instead of anti-depressents would be the correct thing. Don't make any changes but speak to your psychiatrist about this. If you had an issue with smoking marijuana that can cause all kind of negative changes and takes a while to get out of your system and have things return to normal even for someone without a psychiatric disability. A dual recovery group for someone with a psychiatric disability and a substance abuse issue would be a good idea.

[AnaLioneye]

I took it for the 3 days and the second day I took I was so supersensitive to it that I already started having weird thoughts and I was feeling too happy and energetic and I was basically jumping off the walls.

It was like a feeling in my body is electricity and extremely happiness or feeling "giddy". I don't really know how to explain it. I just felt like I loved everyone and I wanted to give everyone a hug. -_-

I was very PDA all of a sudden. and my psychiatrist said that that means I am super sensitive to it and it makes sense because I'm super sensitive to most things,

[birdie0907]

How do you know what the meds will make you feel like, fake and annoying? (3 days of Celexa isn't taking meds).

[AnaLioneye]

I'm still happy. I hate the way I feel and it's ruining my life but I hang on to the fact that I could be in a muuchh worse situation and others are. So that's why I guess I don't like the meds, because they make me happier than I already am and it feels so fake and annoying. I'm a happy person usually, it's just the anxiety that is plaguing me.

[birdie0907]

It will probably continue to be bad until you get a break. That is the purpose of taking meds. They don't turn you into a zombie, just act more like a booster that helps you block out the worries. (That is if they work as well as they did for me.)

I meditate, so am in favor of it, and cognitive behavior therapy, if it works for you, however my meditation book said it is unlikely you can overcome the anxiety on your own with just meditation but without a med to allow you to remember what it is like to be happy again. All the constant fighting you have to do fighting off anxiety wears you down to the point it seems there is no hope, however that is just a state of mind you get used to.

[AnaLioneye]

I stopped doing all drugs ( including alcohol) the day this all started. I've been around weed since then but the most I'd get is just some smoke that was in the air and I smelled it and even then I became a little paranoid as to staying away from it because it might make me worse.

I have been doing Cognitive Behavior Therapy now for about 2 or 3 months, once evry 2 weeks. It has helped me deal with it a little but its still just as bad. :(

I have talked to my Psychiatrist and she knows that I'm not taking the Prozac and all she told me was that it's my choice, that it could help, and to call her as soon as I get the courage to do so.

I don't know what to do. I feel so horrible. My depersonalization is so bad and it's eally affecting me a lot. This is no way to live. :(

[Paxiled]

If you want to tackle this without meds, then you need to go into talk therapy of some kind.  You can also see a naturopath or homeopath and try natural remedies.  It's up to you.  But you do need to do something, because it won't get better without help.

[birdie0907]

Everyone reacts differently, so there is no reason to worry that your pharmacist will put you on a lot of "damn meds" as soulsurfer. My second med did the trick for me and I have never looked back.
There is no guarantee of success with meds, but just living with this and not taking anything for relief is not a pretty alternative.

[soulsurfer302]

I feel your pain i have and had the exact same thing with the weed smoking and alcohol abuse and one day something just hit me when i was smoking and i felt out of touch with reality and just mental. They put me on so many damn meds i couldnt tell you. the only one that has even helped at all is klonopin. now im just going through a phase where my tolerance has built up to my dosage so im having to up it. It is the worse feeling in the world to be doing something and then just not feel in your body. Its like a bad trip where your functiong but you look in the mirror and you just cant put it all together. Ive been sober for almost 3 years and i am still trying to find a way to keep it controled. Right now i take 1mg. klonopin 3x daily, 50mg. lamictal 1x daily, and lexapro 20mg. 1x daily. This now on top of 5mg. of valium 3x daily. Stick hrough it and pray meditate and try to talk yourself through the thoughts and feelings. Whether you want to or not stay around people as hard is it may seem and dont isolate. Just makes you even mor nutty and depressed. I feel your pain this is the haredest battle ive ever had to fight but i will not throw in the towel. make sure to tell your psych. all the things you feel and be completely honest. It will save you alot of trouble and pain. God bless.

[birdie0907]

Yeah, I forgot the non-med therapy part, which is also very important. The meds may just be needed to get you over the hump or may be a long term need, but any of many therapies are available to help train you in relaxation, and help give you a break.
Some are meditation, talk therapy, cognitive behavior, etc. so  your psychiatrist may help you with this. The one I liked was so useful that I still use it as a guideline but the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

[cj29]

Yes, anxiety can cause what you are describing.  In my opinion, you are describing exactly what we go through when we experience this.  I believe accpetence of your anxiety it key here and I wholeheartedly agree that you should still be seeing your psychiatrist.  I am a big proponent of medications ilke Celexa as long as you contine with talk therapy to gain the long term knowledge of how to confront and beat this.

As far the medication goes, it can be a little trial and error before you find the right one, however, as birdie says it can a little while for you to adjust to it.  When I first started taking an SSRI like Celexa, I usually feel a little more on edge for a couple of weeks or so, but after about a month, it helps a great deal in my experience.

Any illegal drugs are VERY bad idea in normal circumstances, but with anxiety problems, they are even worse...so stop them...please keep us posted!

[birdie0907]

The Celexa would have no effect on your anxiety for minimum 1 week and probably a month, so the worse feeling you describe had nothing to do with Celexa. The drug needs to build up in your brain for weeks before it can help or even affect you, (other than side effects). Too bad you are sensitive to it, as it works well for some people (me) but some don't like it. Unfortunately the side effects occur early though most of them go away.

The description you give in the last paragraph sums the situation up. You have very bad anxiety and the docs say nothing else, so you should follow your psychiatrist's advice and try the Prozac. As for not wanting things to go bad, they already are bad (anxiety that is) so there is no reason to feel bad about taking meds. I went on Celexa for 7 months and felt great the whole time, and subsequently quit it. The alternative, living with the deep anxiety that you describe, is not an option since you could get a panic attack and maybe in some place where you can't get help.

Are you still seeing the psychiatrist and have you leveled with her that you didn't take it?
Did you stop smoking weed yet? That would be a big help in coming up with a game plan to deal with the anxiety.
It is natural to feel that other things must be going on, when you are caught up in anxiety, or depression. Those feelings attacked me 50 seconds out of every minute until I found a med to block it out, and I was able to live my normal life.