HIV anxiety is ruining my life and relationship

[BlissfulJoyAlisa]

have now realized this is a common thing for me to fear after sexual intercourse. I lost my virginity 2 years ago with a condom and feared that my ex infected me with HIV. He told me he has been tested but I harrassed him and made his life miserable for 3 months. I then got negative test results when I tested. Now,2 years later I am going through the exact same thing. I had sex 2 months ago with a condom and at first I feared I was pregnant but my period started normally and once that was over I started feeling like I had HIV. I noticed that these anxieties comes from whenever me and a guy I date has lost communication and has broken up. What can I do to fix this?? I was told that I shouldn't test due to that I wasn't at risk but I can't help to think something bad has happened when it didn't.


Not to mention I start my first internship today and I can't help but to think I have HIV. I also found someone new in my life and I can't help but to think I am going to infect him with it or when I get my test results it'll be positive and our relationship will end. I had condom sex and I can't deal with the anxiety
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[anxiety860]

Spence1311 is 100% correct. Please let the hiv fear go. I made a post about hiv and my fear of it a few days ago. Please give it a read maybe it will help you somehow.

[Spence1311]

PS Further testing is not required. I can assure you of that.

[Spence1311]

Your experiences with vomiting two weeks after a protected sexual experience (even if unprotected) is not a symptom of any STD or HIV. He is right, you do worry too much. And that's coming from me.

I sincerely hope you get help and do so as soon as possible. I don't think you need to go for a high level psychiatric evaluation because you seem well aware of your problems and acknowledge them. But a good counselling session with someone who specializes in health anxiety would be the first step toward improved mental health. And you deserve to be happy and free of this anxiety.  

[BlissfulJoyAlisa]

Also I do remember one symptom i had 2 weeks after having sex with him i got a stomach flu where i had to vomit. It came and went. I dont know weather it was HIV or because i ate entirely too much chocolate that day. Me and him still keep in touch and yesterday he went off on me for saying that i am going to get teated because he feels i am immature and paranoid. He then told me i worry way too much which is why we never worked out

[BlissfulJoyAlisa]

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I have to clear something up. The last time i got tested was 2 years ago after the sexual encounter with my ex. We used a condom and i was negative. I went celibate for a year and met a young guy who was four years younger than me. I am 23 he's 18. We had sex but used condoms. We broke up because we weren't on the same page. I then suspected the worse which is i was pregnant or infected with HIV. I haven't tested yet. I keep reading and hearing people with the virus that they did not have any symptoms and that just makes my fear even worse. I am going to schedule for some testing to ease my mind.

[Spence1311]

I had HIV anxiety between December 2013- March 2014 due to a regrettable sexual encounter. I had used a condom but my brain did not care and was constantly in a state of HIV fear. Now, I am not. Please read the following.

You do not have HIV. No way. After two years, you would be very well aware of being HIV positive but you cannot be for the following reasons. Even after two months after unprotected sex(which you did not have) you'd know something is up.

1)A condom was used; it did not break. Condoms, when in tact, are 100 percent effective in stopping the transfer of the HIV virus. Not even open for debate(any medical doctor worth their salt will agree with me that condoms work perfectly when they don't slip off or break). Also, condoms do not leak, they are designed to fail catastrophically. You both would have felt the condom break.
2) The chances of coming across two people who are HIV positive, both that lied to you about their condition or failed to mention it, AND had a sufficient viral load to pass it on to you are so small that it is not even worth discussing further.  
3) You tested negative once already when in fact, you didn't even need to get tested since you used a condom properly (see point 1)
4) You failed to mention any symptoms that you are having which cause you to believe you are HIV positive. No symptoms = no HIV. PS Symptoms are not as vague as some sexual health websites make seem. I don't believe anyone has gone to a doctor with a cold that persists for two weeks only to find out that they've been HIV positive for the last two years and it only now appeared.

Your anxiety is robbing you of your life. You cannot focus on a promising new relationship or your job as a result. I suspect you have many things to speak about if you were to find yourself a counselor as I am of the opinion that the root cause of your HIV anxiety has nothing to do with HIV.