Hello and welcome! I'm sorry you're struggling, but glad you found us. You're among people who understand and you're most certainly not alone!
May I ask how old you are? It sounds like you've had some pretty thorough medical work-ups that revealed everything was okay, which is great news. Did your doctor(s) mention to you that you could be suffering from anxiety?
Certainly you've been dealing with a lot, and anxiety is a perfectly normal response to loss, stress, and life changes (all of which you've experienced in a short amount of time). It would not be surprising to experience a good bit of anxiety after going through so much. Also, you probably helped to trigger or intensify the anxiety a bit with the weed smoking. Marijuana is notorious for triggering or exacerbating anxiety. I would recommend you steering clear of that completely, along with any other kind of mind altering drugs, including alcohol.
What kinds of things do you do? Do you have any hobbies? Do you work or go to school? How about your social life? Do you have any close friends that you confide in and turn to? You mention that you're into music, what kinds of music do you like and listen to a lot? How's your family support system? Who do you live with?
Reason I asked the question about the music is because it's very important to be aware that we are the ones responsible for feeding our brains the kinds of stimuli we do. Think of a computer and data entry. Our brains aren't much different.
If we continuously feed our minds dark, dreary, or depressing kind of things (movies, music, books), then that will absolutely positively affect our moods negatively. In contrast, if we feed our brains more positive stimuli, our moods will be improved. So, therefore, the person who is watching horror movies all day, then listening to "death rock" type music will likely experience more negative moods, and be prone to things like anxiety and depression.
I'm not saying that a person can never engage in those types of things, heck, I LOVE a good horror movie, but what I'm saying is if you regularly and consistently expose yourself to stimuli with negative/depressing themes, your mental status will suffer for it to an extent. That's one very easy thing we can consciously change to help ourselves. In the very least, it's helpful to at least limit that type of stimuli for a while when we're having a rough time.
I think you would greatly benefit from therapy, and also perhaps making some changes in your life, like adopting a healthier routine, incorporate exercise into your life, if you haven't already (exercise is WONDERFUL for anxiety and depression), make an effort to change any bad habits, like eating, smoking, isolating yourself socially. Look into new interests, try a new hobby, anything to get yourself engaged more in life, meet new people, surround yourself with things that would interest you and make you happy.
If you make a big effort to make those kinds of changes, and you get into some therapy to help you deal with all of the changes and loss you've experienced, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome. If you continue to experience feelings of anxiety, then you can always revisit treatment options with your doctor. If this is all very new to you, and you don't have a history of anxiety or depression, then you've got a lot of options to try, especially before turning to a medication. Doctors are quick to want to prescribe medications like antidepressants, and while they CAN be very helpful, I would always recommend that someone with a new onset of anxiety try some other routes first.
Hang in there, keep us posted on how you're doing, okay?
I'm 18 my main hobbie is jamming with people or learning something new on guitar I listen to just about anything that inspires me I started with hendrix and clapton and all classic rock when I became serious about wanting to play what I heard I started digging into their influences which was blues from charley patton, robert jhonson,son house elmore james,muddy waters and just about anything in that categorie now I listen to a lot of stevie ray vaughn,buddy guy,albert king, freddie king,bb king I play anything that exites me its all based around blues which I know people consider sad music but that's not how I see it to me its real and it has soul and there's nothing else like it I enjoy busking I can make about 100 bucks in a few hours which to me is just surreal because its something I would do for free and when people tell me I'm doing a good job and to keep at it makes me feel good other than that cooking or baking something is always fun I graduated from high school in june I was a big pot smoker and so were all my friends but near the end of school I knew that's not what I wanted to be known for so I started hanging out with people that played music I rarley smoke it now. right now me and a buddie are working on a band I don't really have any friends to confide in just because I don't see my friends like that I go to them for a good time and to hangout I know my parents are there if somethings happening or I need to tell them something but I told them just about everything that's goin on and they are helping me and I know they love me my sister knows what its like because she went through it and I talk to her if its something I can't tell my parents when my parents were together my mom was always mad at my dad and basically putting him down and I never liked that my grandmother lived in a house 30 seconds away and when she passed my mom started living down there both of them are pot smokers and its weird because she still comes up here and talks to my dad my dad goes down there but she still trys to put blame on him or put him down and I just don't want to be around to hear all their ******** I mean their my parents and I love them but at the same time their my parents and I hate them I do walk and move around although I know I can do more I don't have a job which is hard to get in my town but I'm trying and I'm trying to get my license but my dad has to buy a car that is road worthy and all that which he is doing its just taking time I have had times in the past were I wasent feeling that good about myself and I just wanted to die but I know that's not the answer to anything which is why I confide in music it takes my mind off things and gives a feeling that there's more there and I know there is I wouldent ever consider suicide cause that's just stupid its a permanent solution to a temporary problem I plan to go live with my sister once I have my license because there's work out were she lives and I can play in the bars and stuff also I just put an application for music school I just need to wait for a time to audition and see if I get accepted which will let me be with people that care what I care about and If I don't get in ill keep practicing iv considered therapy or whatever just to get a bunch of stuff off my chest but I don't want medication I'd rather exercise everyday if that's what it takes
Well sweetie, let me tell you...I think you're a VERY talented, well rounded 18 year old. Just that you've found an interest in some of the music and artists that you have tells me that you are a deep, soulful, broad minded person. You should be VERY proud of what you've accomplished thus far with your music...keep up the great work! I'm going to have one of our fairly regular posters comment on your thread. He's been successful with his music, and also suffers from anxiety on and off. I think talking to him would be amazing for you, almost like a mentor, you know?
And also, the fact that you had enough presence of mind to know that regular MJ use wasn't going to help you reach your dreams is incredible. Good for you!
I think you're probably dealing with a lot of stress from the things you've experienced, and all of the BIG life changes (graduating, losing your gram, your parents splitting up...basically life as you know it changed, did a 180 in a short time, right?
And at 18, there is a lot of stress and anxiety about the future. You worry about what you will do, how you will live, and what you can do that would be fulfilling for you. That's a lot of pressure. The GREAT news is, a LOT of 18 year olds don't really care, they have the mindset..."whatever happens happens". The fact that you're already looking to the future to make plans tells me you're VERY conscientious and goal oriented. I'm a big believer that people who really "care" about things, whatever they may be, are WAY more prone to anxiety, because we DO care and we DO worry about things others may not take as seriously. We're deeper thinkers, we're more intense, and one ONE hand, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, but on the other hand, that scares us too.
You're on the cusp of your future, and think of how empowering (and yes, scary) that can be. You can do ANYTHING you want from here on out. Your future is in your hands. And because you CARE about your future, it's scary. But it's also exciting and wonderful. Life isn't always easy, that's for sure, but the rewards are worth every SECOND of the challenges.
I'm so glad you found your way here. Keep talking to us, and let us know how/what you're doing. Even if you just need to come here and vent, we're the people who have lived it. I think you're going to be just fine and I think you have a VERY bright future ahead of you, in spite of some of the challenges you face that are no fault of your own (your family dynamics).
I'll have c-note stop by too, I'm telling you, you remind me a lot of him, he's a GREAT guy, who puts his heart and soul into his music and everything else he puts his mind to. I think you'll find him inspiring, and I think him being able to guide you a bit will be helpful to him as well, as he has his own battles with anxiety.
thanks its nice to hear all this and yea its basically like everything I used to know is gone and life just came crashing through overnight.ill keep posting and look forward to hearing from the people you mentioned. its scary not knowing if the things happening are something serious or just what your going through at the time because of stress and stuff especially when its happening all the time I dident really know how much of an impact this stuff can have
Yes, it's very scary, especially because the symptoms are so very real, it's hard to accept that "just anxiety" could be the cause. You're actually at the ripe age where most people first present with their anxiety, and get diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. It's usually people in their late teens, early 20's. I was 18 when I was Dx'ed with panic disorder.
Now, if you don't have any history of anxiety, this could just be more situational, meaning everything about life has just sort of caught up with you, and the stress got to be too much.
The good thing about situational anxiety is that usually once addressed, it goes away, and you wouldn't typically have to deal with anxiety chronically. Don't put the cart before the horse, it's early, and impossible to tell if this is just a bump in the road, or if you're going to end up being like so many of us who deal with chronic anxiety. But, if you do, just know that it's manageable for most people.
C-note is going to respond later. You two remind me so mcuh of one another. I see you almost as a younger version of him!
Hey bro. I'm 30. I first started experiencing anxiety after my Grandma died in 2007. I was scared because I had NO idea what was wrong with me. I felt ill, couldnt eat for day. I thought I had a stomach bug. Then I started not sleeping for nights. My heart was POUNDING.
After a week after no sleep, I finally went to the Dr. I was miserable and scared. I thought I was dying of some strange disease or cancer.
This turned into health anxiety for a bit.
Finally, my Dr. explained I had anxiety.
Here is my advice to you. First of all I'm sorry you are going through this. It's not fun. But the good news is that it is 100% treatable. :)
I've been on and off meds for several years. Now I choose med free. But everyone is different.
Let's not get into that because that is not important at the moment.
I think you will benefit GREATLY from knowing that anxiety can cause a NUMEROUS amount of strange and bizarre symptoms. Also, I think it's great that you quit smoking weed. I used to smoke weed in my high school years. Later in life, any time I'd try it, I'd have a bad high and experience bad anxiety. I think it's because we are sensitive people, and depending on what's going on in our lives, it can amplitude bad emotions.
Here's the deal, the more you learn about anxiety FIRST, I think the better you will fee.
1st and foremost, anxiety symptoms can be uncomfortable, but they CAN NOT HARM YOU. They can't! It's your body doing what it's supposed to do. It's feeling a threat... it's firing off because of a build up of stress in your life. Sounds like you've been through a lot with the passing of your grandparents, and the split up with your parents. THAT'S HUGE MAN.
My advice, you got a CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH FROM THE DOCTOR. THAT IS FANTASTIC! :)
The more you learn about anxiety symptoms the better you will feel. Just know that you are not alone. I went through a bad bout a week ago, and lost almost 10 pounds in a week and a half. lol. Anxiety makes my stomach nervous. Before I knew anything about anxiety, because I simply wasnt educated, I kept running to the Doctors about every sensation. I no longer fear my nervous stomach or weight loss, because I always come out of my anxiety funk eventually and start eating again.
The less you fear it the better it will get. It's hard to do, but you CAN do it.
My advice: You've already gotten a clean bill of health from a Doctor. Now the next step is to see a psychologist or talk therapist. I prefer one that does not prescribe meds at first. I truly believe you can benefit from this alone. It's proven that talk therapy is just as beneficial as prescription drugs.
Hit the therapy hard for a few weeks. At that point your therapist will know if you need try a little anti-anxiety med for a bit.
I have 100% faith that you will get through this bump man.
Just try not to fear the symptoms.
Accept anxiety. Face anxiety. Float with anxiety. And let TIME PASS with anxiety. Just try to acknowledge your symptoms, talk to them in a sense... say "i feel you weak arm... you feel weird... but that's it... you can't harm me... so do whatever you gotta do for a bit... you ain't gonna last forever." Then try to just stay busy and take your mind off stuff.
Sounds like music is an awesome therapy for you. :) I too am a musician and creative all around.
Also exercise and a good diet is great for anxiety.
Address the anxiety with a therapist and tackle it head on. :) You'll feel well again I PROMISE. :)
Peace and love man!
I think its more situational I mean iv been anxious before but iv never had to deal with ramdom pains stomach pain and not feeling well because of it iv had it happen but not daily which was getting to me and even that is getting better and I have never had so much change happen so fast but only time will tell I suppose
I also want to add that I seem to have Delayed anxiety response. I can be fine for a while then BAM get whacked with an awful panic attack. I'll think "why is this happening? Things have been great!"
This last bad spell, I finally thought about that about 3-4 weeks ago my company got bought out by another HUGE company. I've been there for 9 years doing video production for Tourism in my city.
So subconsciously I felt a THREAT if you will with the new company buying us out. I should have no fear, b/c I got asked a couple weeks ago to go out to some big fancy dinners and meet the BIG new guys, and wine and dine with them. My company wouldn't have chosen 10 of us, including me out of 200 employees if my job wasn't on the line... but CHANGE is scary... and even though i felt fine the past few weeks, I think all this stress just kind of piled up and finally exploded out of the blue.
It happens. But it's our bodies doing what it's supposed to do in a way. That's how I look at it. It's sensitive and needs to heal. Just like a broken bone. Just like a flu. Anxiety can come on in FAST! But linger for a while til our CNS calms down and we are back to normal again.
I have to learn to not be such a perfectionist in life... which is hard for me to do since I am a creative. I also am a people pleaser and take on side video production work... when really I'm thinking "why am I doing this??? the extra money is great, but I make enough... why am I putting more stress on myself?"
So learn to take it easy man. :) Much love!
If you think yours is situational anxiety, that is GREAT. That means you can usually pinpoint where your anxiety is coming from, even though you are symptomatic... that is no fun.
I've had stomach pains too... left flank pain... you name it. Diarrhea for days... tons of stomach issues. lol. They all pass once I just learn to chillax and go with it.
Hang in there. :)
Yea exactly just go with it at the time its happening its hard to say that but once its over you say to yourself that couldent of been what I thought it was why did I even freak out. Its the fact that I wanted change I was tired of being where I was in life and plus everything else but honestly talking about makes me feel better before all this I was very quiet and kept to myself I dident want to bother anyone with what was going on but when that's all that i was thinking about I knew something had to change