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anxiety with a fear of having hiv
So here's my story. For as long as I can remember I have always had an anxiety disorder. I have been on lots of medicine and haven't found one that actually works. My anxiety is at an all time high. Five months ago I had unprotected sex. Immediately after I began to stress out. 50 days after the encounter I paid $280 for a hiv RNA test. Then I took five oraquicks. Then got a blood antibody test at 88 days. Then at four months took another oraquick. All my results have been negative. But I still wasn't satisfied so I had the guy I had sex with take an oraquick infront of me. His test was negative four months post our sleeping together. But was I relieved... No... I went to the clinica at five months a had a rapid finger prick test. Result was negative. I have burning pain in both my thighs and arms so of course I think its hiv. Now every once in a while I will have a moment where I say to myself I can't have hiv because he doesn't have it. But then the feelings of fear kicks in and before i can even stop myself I am calling hiv hotlines. Pls help ..... I don't know how to overcome this.
No it was my third session since this ordeal started . So my count down continues. I have about 20 days left. This has been the hardest six months of my life.
The people on the HIV forum do seem to know alot about this. So, the 3 month mark could very well be right. If your Dr is saying 6 months though then you should go with that for your own peace of mind.
Was yesterday your first time going to therapy, or have you been before?
Was yesterday your first time going to therapy, or have you been before?
I went to therapy today & it was decided because of.my anxiety I will on believe the six month test. So 23 days to go until the six month mark. The hiv forum was helpful to some degree but I just don't understand how they can say three months is conclusive when the CDC and my doctor says six. And I'm not going to post that question to the hiv forum because I will be told their guidelines are outdated, and so are my doctors. So yes I think this is anxiety and fear rolled into a perfect storm.
You're very welcome. I'm glad you posted your question in the HIV forum because the members there do know so much about this.
You did say that you've had anxiety for a long time so it's not surprising that your still stressing about having HIV even after all the tests you've had.
I really hope you can get in to therapy soon. It can do wonders to help with anxiety.
You did say that you've had anxiety for a long time so it's not surprising that your still stressing about having HIV even after all the tests you've had.
I really hope you can get in to therapy soon. It can do wonders to help with anxiety.
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You've had all the tests you need and so did your partner. Of course you know you don't have HIV. I do understand that this can be a huge fear for some people and hard to believe you don't have it even when all of the tests say you absolutely do not. If you can't get over your fear I would recommend seeing a counselor to help you with this.