For those of us with anxiety, we often go out of our way to avoid the situation/people/place etc when we first had an anxiety attack. It's called, obviously enough, "avoidance," and it's very common.
But the question is, did you have an anxiety attack BECAUSE of those lights specifically, or did you just happen to be at those lights when your first attack hit you? Do you see how, in your mind, you could easily relate the attack to the lights when in fact it could (and most likely was) something totally unrelated to them.
I think it would really be beneficial for you to talk about this with a therapist. Personally I don't think it's the lights........they are simply the trigger for your anxiety. Find the root cause of that anxiety and you'll be able to deal with it head on and overcome it. Your therapist will guide you and also give you valuable tools to help deal with the anxiety.
Since you've written to us, you are obviously motivated to get this anxiety out of your life..........use that motivation to seek help and get your life back.
I wish you the best. We are always here if you need to talk
RubyWitch
its the stop lighs. its those two because thats where i had the problems before
You say that your sense of anxiety/panic is happening "mostly at these two stop lights I CAN NOT avoid."
Why THOSE specific lights? Did something happen there that caused you to first feel anxious, and as you've said "trapped?"
Were you in a car accident there in which you could not get out of your car for some reason? Car accidents can be extremely traumatic.
You've had this problem before and said you got over it without medication. Did you talk to a doctor or therapist about this then? But you fine for a number of years until just recently it has come back. Do you know what triggered the resurfacing of this fear? It had to have been something more intense than getting angry a bus wouldn't take it's free turn on a red light! It sounds much more like your anxiety was creating a NEED to get away from that light.
You said you had a job that required you to DRIVE to a city three hours away and you had no problems and another time you DROVE for two hours without problems. So, is it the DRIVING causing the anxiety or having to stop at red lights?
Either way, I suggest therapy for you to overcome this.
I wish you the best
RubyWitch