Aa
please help , for God sake please
i am much stressed i need help from you all.
i have a boyfriend , our relationship started in 4 years back , i have always done a lot for him, he has always been selfish , never ever care for me . he always turns to me when he needs moral support. i am an anixety patient for more then 5 years . i use to ignore to ignore him because i never wanted to be in love as an anxiety patient it could hurt me more , but he insisted me to love him to be with him and he promised to not to leave me ever.
now he knows i am anxiety patient so he leaves me whenevery he wants and says " i am leaving you forever", when i listen this my heartbeat increases and pains and i cant sleep whole night and i can only feel good when i listen his voice , he always scolds me , use bad words for me and says ke you cant leave me you will dir because of your anxiety.
please help me how can i leave him , i cant sleep cant eat constant nausea , fast heart rate when ever he leaves me by saying that i am leaving you forever. i am not a social girl and cannot make any new bf . i am not habitual of all dis. he is the first guy in my life and i want to spend my life with him.
but he takes advantage and laughs on me and it was he who came after me and saked for my love , i didnt like him aur had any love for him at start of relationship. but as it is my first love i am totally mad and always afraid that what if he left me alone , what would i do , i will die.
please help me our any medicine which could help me in forgetting him completely.
i have a boyfriend , our relationship started in 4 years back , i have always done a lot for him, he has always been selfish , never ever care for me . he always turns to me when he needs moral support. i am an anixety patient for more then 5 years . i use to ignore to ignore him because i never wanted to be in love as an anxiety patient it could hurt me more , but he insisted me to love him to be with him and he promised to not to leave me ever.
now he knows i am anxiety patient so he leaves me whenevery he wants and says " i am leaving you forever", when i listen this my heartbeat increases and pains and i cant sleep whole night and i can only feel good when i listen his voice , he always scolds me , use bad words for me and says ke you cant leave me you will dir because of your anxiety.
please help me how can i leave him , i cant sleep cant eat constant nausea , fast heart rate when ever he leaves me by saying that i am leaving you forever. i am not a social girl and cannot make any new bf . i am not habitual of all dis. he is the first guy in my life and i want to spend my life with him.
but he takes advantage and laughs on me and it was he who came after me and saked for my love , i didnt like him aur had any love for him at start of relationship. but as it is my first love i am totally mad and always afraid that what if he left me alone , what would i do , i will die.
please help me our any medicine which could help me in forgetting him completely.
sorry i logged in after a long time , i had dengue fever which recovered alomost after 1.5 months , i can understand what you all are saying , he doesnt love me always wants me to fulfill his wishes whether good or bad one.
2 days ago he fought with me and said why dont you die so that i can have another woman , i will be free of this relation if you die , then he didnt receive my phone that whole night i cried a lot , beaten up my self , but couldn't get rid of this thought that he Will Never pick my phone and i will die if he will not talk to me , he says that i dont love him but i DO , i do everything he asks me to do , i do job and it is being difficult to carry on with job ,
DavidinLexington is talking about this medicine knolpin , is this good medicine , will it make me thought free.
2 days ago he fought with me and said why dont you die so that i can have another woman , i will be free of this relation if you die , then he didnt receive my phone that whole night i cried a lot , beaten up my self , but couldn't get rid of this thought that he Will Never pick my phone and i will die if he will not talk to me , he says that i dont love him but i DO , i do everything he asks me to do , i do job and it is being difficult to carry on with job ,
DavidinLexington is talking about this medicine knolpin , is this good medicine , will it make me thought free.
There is no medication on Earth that will make you forget this man/child, but I wish, for your sake, there was.
Only time and/or distance will do that.
This man is NOT a good man, Sonia, and he is NOT a mentally healthy person. You say you love him but I believe the truth is that he has psychologically abused you into fearing NOT loving him.
You have said that he "insists you love him." Nobody can "insist" you love them. Love is a gift that you give from and with all your heart. Love cannot be forced.
He says terrible, mean and hurtful things to you. People who love each other do not do that. What he is doing is abusive.........he is making you lose all your self-esteem, making you feel worthless and incapable of being loved by anyone else, making you dependant on him for any little scrap of kindness he may throw at you....and he does it like he's throwing a bone at a beaten dog who doesn't deserve it.
He calls you vile names, he threatens to leave you and tells you you will die from your anxiety if he does, he scolds you.......I find myself wondering if has resorted to physically abusing you yet. One doesn't need a crystal ball to see THAT in your future if you stay with this man. (And it sickens me to use that word about him.......no real MAN ever treats a woman he loves this way. EVER.)
You seem to want out of this relationship very badly, in fact, you're begging us to tell you how to do just that. But you also say you love him, that you get all freaked out when he says he is going to leave you, you don't eat or sleep, your heart races, you get sick to your stomach, you say if he left you alone, you wouldn't know what to do, you fear you would die. I fear you will die if he stays in your life.
Open your eyes, Sonia. Look at what he has already done to you! I'm surprised he let's you use the computer. Perhaps he doesn't know? I can't imagine him allowing you this kind of freedom and I'm guessing that it will soon stop when and if you allow him to take all control away from you.
You asked earlier if there was some way to forget this man and I said that only time or distance would do that. Going back to that now, do you have any relatives or friends that you could go live with for awhile? Some place far enough away from this man that he can't bother you there? Or better yet, will not even know where you are? What about your family? Do they know how he is treating you? How he speaks to you? How he threatens you?
I feel like we may be at some disadvantage to help you, Sonia because we don't know what the cultural differences may be in our two countries.
If a man treated me like your boyfriend is treating you, my father would make him stop, make him go far away, or call the police. But that man wouold never bother me again. In this country we can get what is called a "restraining order" and it means that man would not be able to come anywhere near you ever again and if he did, he would be arrested.
You tell us you aren't a very social person, that this man is the only relationship you've had, so you're a bit naive about affairs of the heart. Sonia, this relationship is not a good one. It is, actually, a very bad one. You would, seriously, be better off alone and perhaps lonely than to be with this man. I can only advise you to get out of it as soon as possible. You can learn to be more comfortable socially, your friends who have more experience than you can help you. You still have options and a way out. Don't settle for this. You're deserve better. As remar said above, is this REALLY how you want to spend the rest of your life? Has this man destroyed the best of you so that you believe you could never do better than him?
There is someone out there who will treat you with the love, respect and kindness you deserve.
Please consider therapy to help you understand why you not only stay with this abusive man but what you can do to get him out of your life and be happy.
Peace
Greenlydia
.
Only time and/or distance will do that.
This man is NOT a good man, Sonia, and he is NOT a mentally healthy person. You say you love him but I believe the truth is that he has psychologically abused you into fearing NOT loving him.
You have said that he "insists you love him." Nobody can "insist" you love them. Love is a gift that you give from and with all your heart. Love cannot be forced.
He says terrible, mean and hurtful things to you. People who love each other do not do that. What he is doing is abusive.........he is making you lose all your self-esteem, making you feel worthless and incapable of being loved by anyone else, making you dependant on him for any little scrap of kindness he may throw at you....and he does it like he's throwing a bone at a beaten dog who doesn't deserve it.
He calls you vile names, he threatens to leave you and tells you you will die from your anxiety if he does, he scolds you.......I find myself wondering if has resorted to physically abusing you yet. One doesn't need a crystal ball to see THAT in your future if you stay with this man. (And it sickens me to use that word about him.......no real MAN ever treats a woman he loves this way. EVER.)
You seem to want out of this relationship very badly, in fact, you're begging us to tell you how to do just that. But you also say you love him, that you get all freaked out when he says he is going to leave you, you don't eat or sleep, your heart races, you get sick to your stomach, you say if he left you alone, you wouldn't know what to do, you fear you would die. I fear you will die if he stays in your life.
Open your eyes, Sonia. Look at what he has already done to you! I'm surprised he let's you use the computer. Perhaps he doesn't know? I can't imagine him allowing you this kind of freedom and I'm guessing that it will soon stop when and if you allow him to take all control away from you.
You asked earlier if there was some way to forget this man and I said that only time or distance would do that. Going back to that now, do you have any relatives or friends that you could go live with for awhile? Some place far enough away from this man that he can't bother you there? Or better yet, will not even know where you are? What about your family? Do they know how he is treating you? How he speaks to you? How he threatens you?
I feel like we may be at some disadvantage to help you, Sonia because we don't know what the cultural differences may be in our two countries.
If a man treated me like your boyfriend is treating you, my father would make him stop, make him go far away, or call the police. But that man wouold never bother me again. In this country we can get what is called a "restraining order" and it means that man would not be able to come anywhere near you ever again and if he did, he would be arrested.
You tell us you aren't a very social person, that this man is the only relationship you've had, so you're a bit naive about affairs of the heart. Sonia, this relationship is not a good one. It is, actually, a very bad one. You would, seriously, be better off alone and perhaps lonely than to be with this man. I can only advise you to get out of it as soon as possible. You can learn to be more comfortable socially, your friends who have more experience than you can help you. You still have options and a way out. Don't settle for this. You're deserve better. As remar said above, is this REALLY how you want to spend the rest of your life? Has this man destroyed the best of you so that you believe you could never do better than him?
There is someone out there who will treat you with the love, respect and kindness you deserve.
Please consider therapy to help you understand why you not only stay with this abusive man but what you can do to get him out of your life and be happy.
Peace
Greenlydia
.
Are you on Klonopin? If not you need to be 3 times a day like me. And never ever tell him or anybody you take it. They would want to sell it on the street. Next I know you have not told your doctor about this because if you had he or she would have given you the answer I am about to. I am a 46 year old gay male and I lived with somebody like your boyfriend for a long time. Trust me baby. Let him leave. He is mentally abusing you and he does not love you and you have convinced yourself you cannot live without him. In 10 years if you let him go now you will have trouble remembering his last name. People who love you take care of you. This dude is trying to cause you emotional pain. He does not love you. I believe from your description of him that he is what is called a sociopath and that is one very dangerous person to love, but once you get over them you will never ever look back and you will realize how bad they treated you. You absolutely must talk about this with your doctor. And then I want you to go to youtube and look up a song and play it every time you start feeling like this. It is a Bette Midler song called "one monkey don't stop no show". And honey this monkey ain't gonna stop any show anyway. If you told him to get lost he would be crying for you to take him back. You don't believe me? Try it and see if you have not reduced him to tears before the end of the night. Then please please please talk about this with your psychiatrist. You can and will love again. Just trust God or whoever you trust and get him out of your life. He is hurting you. And remember I am not a doctor. But you must talk about this with your doctor.
I understand why you would want to be with him. It all has to do with your anxiety and him being your first boyfriend. But really, why would you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who treats you like this? You deserve so much more out of life. Are you in counseling right now? If not, I would highly recommend it. We're here to listen and help any way we can.
Im sorry to hear that u sound like ur in the same situation as my sister u need to go and get a tpo on him to make him stay away and then u need to go to a mental center and they can help they can give u meds to help with it but u dont have to stay there u can do it like a dr visit just look for ur local mental center and they can help u with ur meds and if u cant afford it they can help u with that to
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