Should I Seek professional help...and if so where can I find it?

[Sheki]

Fears:
• Dying (esp. alone)
• Stop breathing suddenly
• That I wont wake up in the morning
• That I wont live much longer
• That I’m going to hurt the one I love
• That I’m going to die before I can have a family
• That I’ll never get to marry the person I so want to

I have these thoughts everyday that I have cancer and that I am going to die. If I feel anything that is not normal I immediately think I am going to die of cancer and I can’t  stop worrying about it. If I have trouble concentrating and a bad headache I immediately feel for a fever and make sure I can count by 4, then 8, then 16 in my head up to 256 because I’m terrified I might have a brain tumor.
I have a mole on my breast which is slightly discolored and I am terrified everyday that it’s cancerous. I check it 16 times…normally 4 times each time.. at least once a day.  I have a mark on my arm that I have the same fears about. I can’t stop worrying that I’m going to die and it terrifies me.

I’m scared that I’ll never get a good education and that I’m doomed to be a failure for my entire life
I think “what if” thoughts all the time and I can’t stop myself.
Like..
What if on the way to work my mom crashes her car and dies and leaves me
Or what if I walk outside and suddenly keel over will anyone even care?


Thoughts- Uncontrollable (not wanted):
• Wishing the one I love died on a plane
• Seeing everyone I love killed
• That I truly don’t love my soul mate
• Feeling like I deserve to be punished and that everything is my fault

They are completely repetitive 24/7…I can’t control my thoughts at all.

I can’t get my mind to stop…it’s driving me crazy. Nothing I try to do helps make it go away.
I can’t sleep
I can barely eat anything…I have to force myself
I feel like impending doom is always near


Physical aspects:
After my first panic attack, things have gotten progressively worse and more severe.
I have no energy
My muscles are sore…kind of feels like I have bruises when there are none there.
I get diarrhea a lot and my stomach gets tender
Shortness of breath, I feel like my throat is partly closed almost all the time.
I have to consciously remember to breathe a lot of the times
I get headaches out of nowhere
And most freighting I get chest pains that range from moderate to severe. It got so bad one time I went to the ER and had EKG and things done. They said it was most likely chest wall pain, but it will not go away. It has not gotten as bad as it was that day, but it hurts quite a lot. My heart does extra beats once I a while that terrifies me..and it beats extra fast almost all the time

I have a lot of trouble concentrating
I am extremely irritable
I get angry and completely furious out of nowhere
My mood can go between angry, scared, sad or happy like it is nothing

[Nasal_Problems]

"I can’t get my mind to stop…it’s driving me crazy. Nothing I try to do helps make it go away."

This is not meant to be mean. But, that made me laugh. "I" can't get "my" mind to stop. Sounds as if you and your mind are not one in the same. YEP! That's a good first step.

Listen, your mind is a tool. It is not meant to stop. It will focus on problems repetitively (especially if you are a negative person) until you find a way to be at peace and find ways to guide your mind towards that aspect of life. You need to live in the present moment. None of these things that you fear are actually occuring RIGHT NOW. Live NOW.

Bad thoughts, negative thoughts are thought by everyone. The difference between you and someone else is you BELIEVE these thoughts will occur. So much so, that you fight having them. This IS THE PROBLEM. You can't fight NOT to NOT have a thought. This makes you have that thought TEN times over. You can, however, dismiss a thought as ridiculous. The irony is that the more you fight a thought from occuring, the more IT WILL occur. You need to accept that your mind is an instrument that is working on problems. You also need to accept that right now, it's focusing on negative events. Once you do this, you can watch it occur. Watch the negative thoughts come in. Don't fight them. Notice them and laugh them off. Say to yourself, "oh here we go again, this is just not going to happen, I'm going to choose to think about (insert something you like to do here)". This will tame the negative thoughts over time.

The bottom line is you can't CONTROL your mind by fighting your thoughts.

The key word is RELENT. Let your mind have it's thoughts even if they are negative. But, remember... you are the one who decides whether these thoughts become reality. You and only you. You can start thinking positively. You just need to believe you can. You choose whether to be positive or negative. You simply need to learn how. This is where a therapist will most surely help you. Please, see one.

God bless.

[WhatIsNormal]

Oh man, I feel for you. You have alot of work ahead, but the good news is, it is definatly something you can "fix" with the right help. I am in the "fixing" process right now. It's alot of work and alot of advocating for yourself but I have made alot of progress. There is help out there and your situation is not hopeless! I have had every medical test known to man, and I finally had to come to the realization that is was just my anxiety, you'll get there. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself that you can take all of the time you need to get through this. Look up mindfullness on the net. It's a very helpfull technique that can keep your mind busy. It takes practive, but it does work. Goodluck

[scaredjo]

i think therapy would be a good idea for you it will help the OCD and the anxiety, i have bits of OCD and bad thoughts too, and as for the chest pains well im an expert they were my biggest fear too, im having CBT now which helps re-train tour thoughts i think you would benefit from it, cause it must be a nightmare thinking the way you do all the time. everyone dreads losing a loved one and i for one am **** scared of dying but theres no point wasting your life worrying about it.

[gunit410]

Like alot of people with OCD, your anxiety manifests in a couple of different forms. Mostly, you seem to have pure-obessional OCD and hypochondriasis, both of which I suffered from a long time ago.

I'd also go out on a limb and say that you might be having a bit of an existential crisis.

Since your anxiety sounds fairly severe, and seems to be unmangeable for you, I would strongly suggest that you see a therapist who specialized in treatment of anxiety disorders who can give you some support/techniques for managing the symptoms.

Once you've learned to manage your anxiety, then you can try looking into what might have caused it, and deal with the underlying issues.

Good luck.

"make sure I can count by 4, then 8, then 16 in my head up to 256 because I’m terrified I might have a brain tumor."

Ah. I remember that one. That was good times. Interestingly enough, I acquired a breadth of medical knowledge from researching various physical ailments in the AMA handbook, so at least hypochondriasis isn't totally useless.

[Allisonc78]

Sheki,

Well it does sound like you have a major anxiety disorder. Alot of your fears, although are very common among most people, are amplified by this anxiety/panic disorder. Has there been any major events in your past that could have triggered some of these emotions? Some of these symptoms can be caused by an imbalence and you might want to consider getting some therapy that specializes in anxiety and maybe trying medication for awhile until you can feel better. But no your not crazy and your not alone, it is not uncommon to have fears and you will be ok, but do reach out and seek some help. Speak with your doctor about how you feel.

[Sheki]

P.S. Yes I do have OCD...wellI know I do..iv'e never went to the doctor for it...but I do have the symptoms