Aa
i can't forgive myself. need help.
i don't think i can talk to someone since it is so personal and i feel really ashamed of.
i am a college student and used to be puzzled about my orientation. i like to watch porn and most of them are of gay content. but i am not emotionally attracted by men.
the second year in college,out of curiosity, i firstly had a mutual masterbation with a gay student. not long later, i had experienced oral sex with another guy. it was then i felt great fear of hiv even though now i know what i did is of very low risk. i suffered a lot in those month. i feel very extremely guilt of my 'gay behavior' and very sorry for my loving parents. i cried a lot of times before i decided to have a test. the negative result made me relieved a lot. so i decided to start a brand new life.
two years later, i meet my current girlfriend, she is very tender to me and i love her equally much. but now i am afraid she will not accept me if she know i had those manner with gay men. i cannot get rid of this idea and became seriously depressed. i can't confess to her. what should i do？
this mental problem has caused even more issues. i become very sensitive and afraid, my life is being destructed by my endless thinking and self blame.
who can help me.
sincerely
i am a college student and used to be puzzled about my orientation. i like to watch porn and most of them are of gay content. but i am not emotionally attracted by men.
the second year in college,out of curiosity, i firstly had a mutual masterbation with a gay student. not long later, i had experienced oral sex with another guy. it was then i felt great fear of hiv even though now i know what i did is of very low risk. i suffered a lot in those month. i feel very extremely guilt of my 'gay behavior' and very sorry for my loving parents. i cried a lot of times before i decided to have a test. the negative result made me relieved a lot. so i decided to start a brand new life.
two years later, i meet my current girlfriend, she is very tender to me and i love her equally much. but now i am afraid she will not accept me if she know i had those manner with gay men. i cannot get rid of this idea and became seriously depressed. i can't confess to her. what should i do？
this mental problem has caused even more issues. i become very sensitive and afraid, my life is being destructed by my endless thinking and self blame.
who can help me.
sincerely
Siegmund Frued was a damn genius! This is a perfect example of Super Ego. Just a little humor here! Super Ego is your conscieneous side of your personally according to Frued.
Anyway, like Jake357 said, "we all have skeletons in our closet". This is true for just about every grownup on earth. You need to just move on and enjoy what you have now and what it could develop into.
Take care.
Anyway, like Jake357 said, "we all have skeletons in our closet". This is true for just about every grownup on earth. You need to just move on and enjoy what you have now and what it could develop into.
Take care.
Awesome, I am grateful I could help you. Just forgive yourself like you did when you were young and stole a cookie from the cookie jar, cuz that is all it really amounts too. no biggie.
thank you jake, you are all very nice guys.
I think i'd better figure it out and do some change by myself first.
I think i'd better figure it out and do some change by myself first.
Well I deffinatelly would not say anything toward your sexual orientation, I honestly believe you to be Heterosexual. You were young and experimented, like all people, quit being hard on yourself cuz you only work yourself up more. Relax, she does NOT need to know about something that personal. I dont know what other advice to give you, but you seem extremely hard on yourself. Do you have depression? See a family doc before going to a psych, they are less expensive. And know you are not alone at all, everyone has skeletons in their closet, yet they can stay there, probably for the best..... Take Care man
thank you so much for being so patient to me.
i have carefully examined my minds. the reason why i want other's understanding is because i always feel i am not the person in the eye of my friends'. i have conflicts identifying myself.
my mental problem might come much from sexuality and self-recognition. i really hate myself after masturbation, and i can resist doing that often. this feeling could date back to my middle school, my it suddenly becomes serious now!
i have carefully examined my minds. the reason why i want other's understanding is because i always feel i am not the person in the eye of my friends'. i have conflicts identifying myself.
my mental problem might come much from sexuality and self-recognition. i really hate myself after masturbation, and i can resist doing that often. this feeling could date back to my middle school, my it suddenly becomes serious now!
Why dont you just forgive yourself and move on. This is a personal thing that should be kept to yourself. Some people may not be so forgiving and it could destroy what you have.
Remember, you are only human, stop being so hard on yourself. It was an experience and what is done is done. Move on!
Remember, you are only human, stop being so hard on yourself. It was an experience and what is done is done. Move on!
You are a very kind person. Thank you.
I do think that to move on is better than ponder over those guilty thoughts. I just find it too hard to pretend innocent. I regard myself sinful and need other s forgiveness.
I do think that to move on is better than ponder over those guilty thoughts. I just find it too hard to pretend innocent. I regard myself sinful and need other s forgiveness.
One other comment on this topic. You say you are ashamed of your actions of 2 years ago and feel guilt. I would think that many people, both male and female, have had the same experience and struggles that you had. We are human. We make decisions and do things that we question at some point in our lives.
The guilt you feel is what generates the depression you feel. Remember, you made what you now think is a mistake. Did anyone get hurt or lose their life over it? No. It was an experience that you obviously grew from.
I hope this helps reduce your suffering. We are so insistant on beating ourselves up for being "human".
The guilt you feel is what generates the depression you feel. Remember, you made what you now think is a mistake. Did anyone get hurt or lose their life over it? No. It was an experience that you obviously grew from.
I hope this helps reduce your suffering. We are so insistant on beating ourselves up for being "human".
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Anxiety Community
Find out what can trigger a panic attack – and what to do if you have one.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Take control of tension today.
These simple pick-me-ups squash stress.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
Want to wake up rested and refreshed?
It sounds to me that you were in a curious stage or period of your young life. You experimented to find your identity during this time and have come out of it the person you are now.
In my opinion, I dont think you are gay or have the biological make up to be attracted to men. This is just my opinion as I dont know what it is like to be attracted to the same sex.
There is no reason and it serves no purpose to confess to your girlfriend that you had a homosexual experience 2 years before you met her. It is time to move on with your life and enjoy the years ahead of you.