i feel like there no future for me.

[mattyb17]

help me please i dunt know what to do i wake up in the morning feeling like im worthless and worry about how im going to get through the day and i never go far from home as im anxoius i mean ive tryed killing me self twice in the past 5 days :(

[mattyb17]

i just wish i had somone to talk to ive never had anyone in my family i can talk to this about :/   i barly eat anything im under weight id rather be dead than alive but theres still some life in me thats wants to change i just dont know how i mean when i walk down the street see a lorry go past i think what if what if i jumped in front of it id be out of this misery i cant get a job  
every girl ive had has been a **** to me im not in education only got a few true mates other just treat me like theier enemy i was thinking of going hospital the other night when i had taken pills but i havent got the confidence to talk to docters face to face :'(

[mattyb17]

:( i just dont know i cant go to the docters they wont understand im not goodf at all this talking thing to docters  i havent got the confidence i just wish i was normal but i dont think i can or ever will be im a failure to this world if i commited suiced no one would care i know im only 17 and people could say there alot ahead of me but is there really i dont see any point in living anymore  yh its not nice is it and i know people have probs been fro 10 times worse but i cant deal with this anymore

[mattyb17]

i just wish it was easy to get out of this situation but i dont know what to do i wishh i had somone in person to talk to this about :'( just someone who knows what im on about somone who dont think im crazy :'(

[meniere135]

Hi there!  I'm hoping you'll give some information like when did you start with the anxiety and depression.  How is your family life?  Does anyone in your family have depression and/or anxiety?  Maybe you'd feel better taking one of your good friends with you to see a doctor.   Talk to anyone on this site...we're all here to listen.  

[mattyb17]

well ive been like this for about 2 year but its only been really bad for about the past 5 months my mum and my gran have sufferd with depression i dont really get on with my family to be honest :( im feeling a bit better today because im with a close friend at the moment but i still feel like i wont to get out of this missery any way i can :'(

[nursegirl6572]

I know you can't SEE the things people are telling you...but trust us, we've all been there in a deep dark hole....and if we had decided to take our lives, we would've never known that getting better was a REAL possibility, and so many of us have.

Once you make the decision to end your life, there is no going back...no "reatakes", no second chances.  I know you are hurting and feel hopeless, but find something to hang on to...the people who love you will NEVER be the same if you weren't here.  Try to imagine if your closest friend killed him/herself.  You would be devastated right?  Never the same?  Well, that's how countless people would feel if you weren't here.

Depression and anxiety are both have a lot of genetic predispositions, and it sounds like you have a few family members who have suffered.  TALK to them...they know what you're going through.  You need to get some intense help, and NOW.  PLEASE seek help immediately, b/c again, suicide is not the answer.  You haven't even had a chance to see that things WILL get better.

We're all here for you..,.please keep posting.

[pittfan17]

You+should+seek+help+right+away.even+if+it+means+checking+yourself+into+a+hospital.have+no+fear+for+giving+in.ever+heard+say+by+jon+mayer.its+a+good+song+to+live+by.go+get+help+dont+care+wat+people+think+just+tell+the+doctors+what+u+have+to+to+get+the+help+you+need!and+do+you+think+theres+any+particular+reason+you+feel+this+way+or+is+it+random.dont+be+ashamed.mental+illness+is+common

[mattyb17]

i would hate it if my friend ended their life but but i think the main reason im like this is because of my past i no people say the past is in the past but i cant exactly forget about it if its on my mind 24/7 i mean no one deserves to die but i cant handle the pain anymore i really cant i know i need help i do but i try ringing the docter but thereve never got an appointment it allways seem like things never go good for me allways seems like no ones there to help like theres never any other options that to end my life i have nothing to live for atm i dont even know why im still here :/

[mattyb17]

and basicaly its just my past and i see no future for me :/

[JGF25]

You are 17 years old and have everything to live for.  If the doctor cannot find time to give you an appointment then find another doctor or go and camp out on that other doctor's doorstep.  It is clear to me that you need to be in treatment for your anxiety and depression.  You absolutely do not have to live like this.  Now get up and go and make that phone call.  If they cannot take you, then you need to go to the nearest emergency room because there is a future for you so don't cheat yourself and everyone else that loves you out of it.  

[mattyb17]

i did go see another doctor but he just said i have to go see my doctor but i ring up everyday asking for an appointment but they have nothing it like what do they expect me to do i don't know what to do that's why i'm calling them :(  i don't like hospital's though because of the last time i went to hospital about overdosing is wasnt nice i wish i knew what to do but i don't doubt anyone loves me anyway to be honest.

[kaitlinnn]

:/i'll help you get through this, i know what to do:/ please don't do anything youve said on here:'(

[mattyb17]

i cant help how i feel i dont even feel in control half the time :(

[mattyb17]

thanks for everyones advice and all that but i just dont know anymore to be honest :/

[mattyb17]

i want out of this does anyone know why those pills dint kill me??

[mattyb17]

**** this somone just tell me how many i need i mean the other night i took 23 iburprofeen and i dint have much effect how many do i need!! 50??? 100???

[kalie1979]

Not joking I could write a book on the stuff I have been through. Im 32 and look back at my life and glad I never gave up. Whatever is going on with you, its not bad enough to end it. When your there in that pit, there seems like there will never be a end to it. But I promise it gets better, your soo young. I have been doing really good myself for a while and now I'm dealing with anxiety again. You need to reach out and get help. We are here to talk to you. I have never met you, but it makes me have anxiety just thinking you might harm yourself. So stop saying it. And start from the begining, when did it start and have you ever takin anything to help?

[mattyb17]

i havent actualy taken anything to help havent properly spoke to a doctor yet and im sorry ill keep my feelings to my self like i use to :/

[mattyb17]

how can i delete my account on here??

[meniere135]

I sent you a message - please check it out.  

[kalie1979]

omg.....i ndid not mean anything!!!!! please dont go...

[kalie1979]

I'am shocked, gosh I feel like a jerk. I did not mean anything in a bad way. Now I just don't know myself. If I caused more pain for him, its going to kill me!!!! I'am going to say bye for now, I should not be advising anyone. I'am soo sorry matty :-(

[bbxx]

I just read what you wrote. You did not write anything wrong. Dont beat yourself up. You were trying to help. Its always hard to communicate on the forums because we dont know how others are taking what we say. They dont see our expressions when we are teasing, or concerned etc... Dont worry.