Going back to your original post, you said "today I tried to enjoy myself so after work I went with a friend to the pool. I was fine at the pool......."
Then, just a few sentences later, you state "I couldn't even bring myself to get in the pool and swim."
So apparently you WEREN'T fine at the pool.
Erin, so many people on this forum have responded to your posts and the general concensus is that you need to get yourself into therapy as soon as possible because this has been going on for nearly a year, at least.
We will always be here for you, Erin, but it's time you got pro-active in your own mental health. We can listen, we can sympathize, we can empathize, we can support and advise and send you cyber hugs, but WE cannot fix you. That is the work you and your therapist must do.
And just a word about the Xanax. Many people as well as doctor's tell us to use the Xanax as a "rescue" med. In other words, take the Xanax only when you have a panic attack. What they don't tell you is that by the time the Xanax gets into your system, the attack is over. The Xanax did not "rescue" you from anything except perhaps a bit of the post-attack jitters. This is something you need to discuss with a therapist, but if you have frequent panic attacks, the goal is to PREVENT them, and for that to happen, you need to be on a long term benzo such as Klonopin. (I site Klonopin only because it was the first long term benzo that came to mind)
You can and you will get better if you get the help you need.
Peace
Greenlydia
Speaking of all of this...I just had a terrible panic attack while being out with friends. I started getting dizzy and lightheaded, i felt disconnected from reality, i felt horribly sick to my stomach and i could not breathe at all and i had an overwhelming feeling of fear. I freaked out and ran out of the bar. I forced my boyfriend to leave so we could go home and now hes mad at me. I cant help when they happen and most times i can make it through but tonight was not one of those times. i broke down and took two xanax. the panic attack was so bad. i dont know what to do anymore. i beginning to think i'll never get better ever. and i was doing so well just a couple months ago. and now im getting back to the horrible anxiety.
I know of seasonal anxiety but it used to be the opposite for me. Winter used to cause me anxiety and I was fine in the summer. Now its the complete opposite.
There is something called Seasonal Anxiety. I don't know very much about it but you have posted before about being anxious in general so I'm not so sure it applies in your case. Possibly just more generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head. Sorry this is of no help whatsoever.