separation anxiety

[mom1111]

My 4 year old son recently became scared to be dropped off at his preschool.  After 7 months of relatively happiness he now cries for the entire 2 hours.  I do not know what to do.

[nursegirl6572]

Having a 4 yr old son myself, I can tell you that these kind of drastic changes aren't totally uncommon.  My son is mostly very excited to go to preschool every day, but sometimes, he goes into "meltdown" stages that may last for a few days, to a few weeks.  I think sometimes it has to do with events that happen at school (something even as simple as a "tiff" with a playmate, a bad nap experience, them not feeling well at school one day),, and sometimes, if the child has spent more time than usual being home with Mom and/or Dad, they can sometimes revert back to having to adjust a little bit again.  I notice the latter with my son quite a bit.  We had a lot of snow a few weeks back and he was home a lot more than normal, and he was not real happy to go back.

While it certainly wouldn't hurt to have him evaluated, I wouldn't get too concerned just yet.  In the meantime, be sure to be very consistent with your routine...take him every day at the same time, pick him up at the same time. Also be consistent with activities at home, like meal times, bath time, clean up time, bedtime, etc.  Children, especially young kids, thrive on having a consistent schedule...it helps give them a sense of security, not to mention it will help him grow up understanding about the importance of structure and routine.  

Most likely, his crying doesn't last too long after you leave...kids are famous for putting on a big show for their parents.  Try even making a "surprise" visit in the middle of the day to see how he is doing.  You can do that without him seeing you as to not cause him to be upset.  Doing that will at least put YOUR mind at ease a little.  Keep talking to him, kids at that age are like sponges, they are very smart and are fairly good at communicating.  Tell him that you want to hear about "school", and make sure you take time every day after school to ask him what he did, what he played with, what he had for lunch, etc, trying to really make a big deal out of the activities he is doing at school.

With any luck, this will pass as a phase.  I would try not to make too big a deal out of it at this point.  Stay vigilant obviously, looking at his behavior, listening closely to him if he is discussing anything bothersome about school.  It wouldn't hurt to take him to your pediatrician to discuss what is going on...they are great at making recommendations as well.

Funny little story that may ease your mind a bit (as I know this can be so frustrating)....my son went thru something similar where all of a sudden he was inconsolable at drop off time...Im talking fits from he**, holding onto my husband's leg with a death grip.  This went on for about 2 weeks non stop.  We tried everything, and nothing seemed to be working.  Well, he eventually started to return back to his normal baseline behavior at preschool, and after several discussions with him where he insisted nothing was wrong, he confided in us that "Elijah took the yella dump truck off-a me, Mommy!  He was BAD!  he isn't my best friend anymore!"  So, after weeks of worrying and struggling, we found out that the whole deal was due to the "GreatYellow Dump Truck Tragedy of 2009".  :0)

Best of luck, I hope it passes soon or that you figure out what's going on...please let us know!

[RubyWitch]

In my humble and totally non-professional opinion, it sounds like your son may be dealing with some seperation anxiety. I base that solely on the fact that he didn't cry as long as you were there, but started up again when you left.
Neither of my boys had this, so I have no personal experience with it. I can't even begin to advise you what to do about it. Perhaps having him see this "developmental doctor" would be the best thing. For me, I think I would probably take him to see his regular pedeatrician before I called in the "big guns." This could just be a very normal phase that some kids go through and his doctor could give you some ideas on how to deal with it. If that doesn't help and you see no improvement, then have him seen by this specialist. But that is just what I'd do............you must decide what you think is best for your son. You might want to check out some of the parenting forums on  here. I'm sure your son is not the only one going through this and they may have some good ideas as to why and how they handled it.
Peace
Greenlydia
      

[mom1111]

They talked to me right away to see if anything changed at home which it hadn't.  They want to bring in a developmental doctor to see him.  I stayed in class on Friday and he did not cry at all while I was there but when I am gone it is non stop crying

[RubyWitch]

I would immediately arrange an appointment with the head of this preschool and your sons teacher(s) to discuss this change in your sons behavior. Something has caused him to suddenly fear being there and you need to find out what that is.
Greenlydia