Does anyone in this forum know about depersonalization?

[Fides_et_Spes]

I had a bad experience with a laced joint in my teens that caused an extremely intense panic attack that I never fully recovered from. It's almost as if my entire consciousness changed and I perceived the world in a completely different way. I dealt with it by drinking for a long time because I never could find a way to relax or a way to describe/explain what had happened to my mind. I have recently gotten sober and lost a lot due to drinking and It's difficult because I deal with this strangness of thinking. The only experience I've found that seems similiar to what I experienced is depersonalization. Does anyone have experience with this?

[onedayillbfine]

Ive recently found out I am going through this "depersonalization" and as scary as it is I am learning that it is part of anxiety which is a very very powerful thing.Stay strong and remember it cant and will not harm you fight through and you will win this battle, Best of Luck

[Fides_et_Spes]

Hey manda, I really do appreciate your response it does help. It has been a long battle for me, too long, and at the time it happened I really had no one to turn to. I went to the doctor to try to explain it and all they did was try different meds that made me feel crazier so I just gave it up(this was years ago). The doctor even told me "I would probably never be happy" lol. Great advice right. The unfortunate thing for me was I turned to alcohol to self medicate and it eventually became a serious problem. It was hard for anyone to understand I even had a problem because I had built so many walls that I became a master of looking like I was cool, calm and collected when on the inside I was falling apart. It is a lonely condition because living with the extreme anxiety and baseless fear while trying to appear "Normal" takes up so much energy and life just passed me by.

I will say going to AA and beginning to reach out is putting me on a much better path. I had been to AA before but never really gave it a shot because I spent so much energy trying to avoid facing anything that even talking about the things wrong with me would cause me to just shut down. I have much to learn about my disease and myself and also have to face a lot of fear but doing it with the help of others who have suffered as well is very encouraging. Well, I will stop my rambling:) manda thanks for reaching out it's good to talk with someone who can relate.

[mandapanda928]

Yes i went through depersonalization a lot when i was depressed and also had panic attacks because of it for some odd reason it can last a long time mine has been going on for a year but some how i felt clicked back together over the past couple months i still have my times when i go through it though. I have really weird thoughts sometimes also that make me panic i think in being human we all have weird thoughts but they are what they are just thoughts , the withdraw from drinking can sometimes make it worse it's almost like you put yourself in a box that is locked and you have to find the key to the way out . And all the days in between are crazy and scary and upsetting but you will get through it. There are so many people with anxiety and mood disorders and personality disorders that go through periods of this, even people that aren't diagnosed with disorders will go through bouts of it at some periods in there lifetime. But panic attacks take a long time to recover from. My mom explained it to me like an earthquake after the earthquake is done there is still sever shakes and broken things that have to be fixed. And i think that's kind of what happens with panic attacks because your brain goes through something totally unexpected , it can't just be back to normal all the sudden. It takes time but you will be ok. Maybe you should try some medication, or talk to a therapist and tell them your feelings. Maybe you feel really a lone like your the only person that has these thoughts and feelings, and they will sure tell you that you are not. It's normal. whatever 'NORMAL' IS . I hope that this maybe helps message back. -manda