Aa
Bipolar
I've been "best friends" with a man for 4 years. 1 year ago he was hired by a company and never went to the job. He isolated himself and drank for almost 2 weeks. He seemed to get it together (he hid his problem from me) and got another job in a city far away and did the same thing in a hotel room. I helped him get home and get into a treatment
regimen - he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, started taking Antabuse, going to meetings, exercising, eating right,
and got another job in a far away city. He was living a healthy existence for 7 months. Now it seems he has done the same thing. In the course of 1.5 years he has gotten 3 jobs and lost them. I care about him but don't know how to proceed. He has also been prescribed Depakote for the bipolar and it seems to be working.
I want to change my number and pretend he doesn't exist but I can't. I really know that he can't help it and needs a friend. Am I the crazy one?! Is this man disabled enough so that he can't work - what is your take on all of this?
regimen - he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, started taking Antabuse, going to meetings, exercising, eating right,
and got another job in a far away city. He was living a healthy existence for 7 months. Now it seems he has done the same thing. In the course of 1.5 years he has gotten 3 jobs and lost them. I care about him but don't know how to proceed. He has also been prescribed Depakote for the bipolar and it seems to be working.
I want to change my number and pretend he doesn't exist but I can't. I really know that he can't help it and needs a friend. Am I the crazy one?! Is this man disabled enough so that he can't work - what is your take on all of this?
I'm not his savior, I'm not sure what I am to him. I think we're going to have a long break
because of the way he's treating me lately. I forgive the disease. I'm just exhausted with trying to figure it all out. I have to preserve myself.
because of the way he's treating me lately. I forgive the disease. I'm just exhausted with trying to figure it all out. I have to preserve myself.
I know he is embarrassed, but he shouldn't be. We all feel that embarrassment when an episode is over. When we get passed that, we usually understand where it came from and can move on.
No doubt you are exhausted! Emotional turmoil is physically and mentally exhausting. You need to take some time for yourself, and even if that means not talking with him for a few days - just be selfish and take care of yourself. You can never be responsible for another human, just for yourself. I truly believe anyone as special as you are - to be there for him - that he would understand and respect that you deserve it. It will probably make him feel better, too, that he is doing well enough not to be cared for constantly.
When his meds are stable, I am sure that he will be as close to "normal" as we can all hope for. I saw my pdoc yesterday and he was so impressed with my stability. He actually told me "Well, it looks like the experimenting with the meds has FINALLY paid off and you are in such a better place now!" That recognition meant the most to me - I have felt it but to hear it from someone that wasn't personally involved felt really great. He will get there. Especially with you in his support circle.
You are a veryyy special person. Many who suffer from BP have NO ONE in their circle and he is lucky to have you.
You might not know it - but you really could have literally saved his life by not giving up on him. That's awesome! (but don't take on the savior role .....gees, huh!)
Racheal
No doubt you are exhausted! Emotional turmoil is physically and mentally exhausting. You need to take some time for yourself, and even if that means not talking with him for a few days - just be selfish and take care of yourself. You can never be responsible for another human, just for yourself. I truly believe anyone as special as you are - to be there for him - that he would understand and respect that you deserve it. It will probably make him feel better, too, that he is doing well enough not to be cared for constantly.
When his meds are stable, I am sure that he will be as close to "normal" as we can all hope for. I saw my pdoc yesterday and he was so impressed with my stability. He actually told me "Well, it looks like the experimenting with the meds has FINALLY paid off and you are in such a better place now!" That recognition meant the most to me - I have felt it but to hear it from someone that wasn't personally involved felt really great. He will get there. Especially with you in his support circle.
You are a veryyy special person. Many who suffer from BP have NO ONE in their circle and he is lucky to have you.
You might not know it - but you really could have literally saved his life by not giving up on him. That's awesome! (but don't take on the savior role .....gees, huh!)
Racheal
Thank you. I'm totally exhausted today. I'm pretty sure that it's a result of being so
concerned for 3 solid weeks and unable to do anything about it. While my friend was
killing his pain, I was feeling mine. Thank you all for helping me have an outlet for all of this. My friend is so embarrassed, feels awful, but has verbalized his appreciation. Now,
the starting over begins and I realize that I'm still in it for the long haul. I pray that he can lead a somewhat normal life soon.
concerned for 3 solid weeks and unable to do anything about it. While my friend was
killing his pain, I was feeling mine. Thank you all for helping me have an outlet for all of this. My friend is so embarrassed, feels awful, but has verbalized his appreciation. Now,
the starting over begins and I realize that I'm still in it for the long haul. I pray that he can lead a somewhat normal life soon.
Your friend is very lucky. I am so glad he is doing better. As is the case with a lot of us, we go from the brink of H*ll to back again in a short time. It's exhausting for us and the ones that care for us.
It's so weird - I have been tested as having a higher than normal IQ - but yet mention that I have BP1 and it's like I am slower than molasses. It's infuriating. I try to let people around me know that mental illness is not mental retardation.
Hopefully, his psychiatrist (we call them pdoc) will listen intently to his recent episode. I also hope that your friend shares it all with him. I know myself, I have been so embarrassed at some of my episodes that I didn't share them completely. That delayed my diagnosis and just NEARLY cost me my life. It wasn't until I was COMPLETELY honest with me pdoc that I got the proper diagnosis - and meds.
I promise you that the correct medications can be life changing for him. Some of the meds are rough when you start them, but once you get stable, it's like coming out of a dark closet that you were in for a really long time.
In no way will his pdoc and medication cure him - but it can help you lead a much more stable life. It will take time and patience on his part to make sure that he is vigilent in his healthcare and working with his pdoc team. Meds can lose their effectiveness over time and might need adjusting - he just has to stay on top of it. AND, having someone he can trust will only help him more- my best friend tells me when I am going toward an episode and it really helps.
Keep on getting educated and we will help you through it the best we can. Those on the forum truly care and want to help each other. Maybe once he is stable his family will be able to listen to him - maybe not but he will be happy and that's what's important. (my family STILL doesn't get it!)
Hugs!
Racheal
It's so weird - I have been tested as having a higher than normal IQ - but yet mention that I have BP1 and it's like I am slower than molasses. It's infuriating. I try to let people around me know that mental illness is not mental retardation.
Hopefully, his psychiatrist (we call them pdoc) will listen intently to his recent episode. I also hope that your friend shares it all with him. I know myself, I have been so embarrassed at some of my episodes that I didn't share them completely. That delayed my diagnosis and just NEARLY cost me my life. It wasn't until I was COMPLETELY honest with me pdoc that I got the proper diagnosis - and meds.
I promise you that the correct medications can be life changing for him. Some of the meds are rough when you start them, but once you get stable, it's like coming out of a dark closet that you were in for a really long time.
In no way will his pdoc and medication cure him - but it can help you lead a much more stable life. It will take time and patience on his part to make sure that he is vigilent in his healthcare and working with his pdoc team. Meds can lose their effectiveness over time and might need adjusting - he just has to stay on top of it. AND, having someone he can trust will only help him more- my best friend tells me when I am going toward an episode and it really helps.
Keep on getting educated and we will help you through it the best we can. Those on the forum truly care and want to help each other. Maybe once he is stable his family will be able to listen to him - maybe not but he will be happy and that's what's important. (my family STILL doesn't get it!)
Hugs!
Racheal
You are so correct about "who" exactly is bipolar. My dear friend is one of the kindest,
sincere, and focused persons most of the time.
He is now back in this area and sober. Today he will go to see his psychiatrist and talk
more about medication. I told him I'd be there for him. He told me that he thinks he should not pursue jobs away from his support system - he actually admitted that he needed it. I did what was advised and listened, with a more educated ear this time.
I don't know where this will go but for right now, it seems good.
Thank you for the support - I will continue to read, learn and listen - this man is very special to me.
sincere, and focused persons most of the time.
He is now back in this area and sober. Today he will go to see his psychiatrist and talk
more about medication. I told him I'd be there for him. He told me that he thinks he should not pursue jobs away from his support system - he actually admitted that he needed it. I did what was advised and listened, with a more educated ear this time.
I don't know where this will go but for right now, it seems good.
Thank you for the support - I will continue to read, learn and listen - this man is very special to me.
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