Psychosis??

[rogelio63]

Okay, I guess I didn't know, or don't know what psychosis is.  Here's a long, but interesting story, let me see what you guys think.
When I was an infant, I didn't have open tear ducts. So they took me to our family doctor, wrapped me in a blanket and used a probe to open them up.  No anesthetic or anything.  
Years later, I began to have these "episodes" (by years later I mean in my late 20's) where I would be unable to move,(this would always occur when I was lying down), the room would appear to get very large, I would try to talk but couldn't and be very frightened.  All the while cognizant of what was going on around me.  I think I had the last one of these episodes about 5 years ago.
Does this sound psychotic or more like a flashback, PTSD experience (which I have been diagnosed with related to other events)?
I would love to hear other people's thoughts,,
Rogelio

[Jade59]

Hey, my friend : )  You know, I was on AD's for 24yrs and with that came dreams every single night without fail (was exhausting)...multiple dreams up to 10 per night (that I could remember upon awakening) and all were so vivid and lifelike it was often impossible to distinguish later what was a dream and what was not (the dreams stopped completely when I quit the meds.  WHAT a relief!).  I too, have told others about what I thought were *facts*.  Sometimes I would remember eventually they were dreams, but often, not.  Because when you're dreaming it can often be about your everyday life and since it seems so real, you incorporate that into your memory and can easily later feel like it's part of your reality.  

I agree with Xila about what psychosis is like and really, it doesn't sound like what you're going through.  Your original post sounds like flashbacks and PTSD for that incident.  Which would be normal btw, since that would have been so scary for you as a little boy.

When I was very little, like most children, I didn't like to take meds so my folks would hold me down or restrain me to get the job done.  That led to utter panic later if I were ever being restrained in any type of way - even in a playful way like kids might do.  

I am wondering if you've always had vivid dreams or just since you've been on the meds these last few years?  

[rogelio63]

I don't want it to be psychosis.  I sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between something really happening and if I dreamed it.  I've gone to the extent of telling people information that isn't true based on a dream that seemed so real,

[Xila31]

I agree it sounds like panic to me. Maybe a flash back that triggered it, but hard to say because you were such a tiny baby. I can tell you when I was 2 I almost drowned and I remember going under the water and all the bubbles and people screaming. That same year I put my thumb into a can and it got stuck, and they had to take me to the ER to saw it off and get me stitches. I also remember that. LOL (I was a very curious and active kid.) But even though I remember that, I don't feel a strong emotional connection to it.

From my experience psychosis is either a very real sound or vision that just isn't there. Or also a very firm belief in something that is false. For example when I was having auditory hallucinations that the phone was ringing, I could not distinguish between the phone actually ringing and the "imaginary" phone ringing. That's what made it so terrifying. If the phone rings and rings and rings and the moment you step out of the room to answer it, it stops.... and as soon as you step back out of the room it starts again.... for three hours non-stop... It was like living in a nightmare.

Also when I experienced the delusions of being chased and investigated by the "evil people" in the new office building built in my neighborhood, it was as firmly believed as th sky is blue and the grass is green. And it lasted for four years until it suddenly just evaporated from my mind, which I can't explain.

But this is just my experience and I can't say if psychosis is the same for everyone. :(

[rogelio63]

I would get the tingling,,but I thought that was because I couldn't move for so long.

[thatquietgirl]

It could just be a panic attack.  It doesn't sound like psychosis (hearing/seeing things that aren't there) to me, and it'd need quite a few more symptoms to it to really sound like PTSD to me.  Do you feel it difficult to breathe, like your chest is tight, and if it lasts long enough, your extremities and face start to tingle?  That'd be a panic/anxiety attack.