my daughter has crying ouyburts

[shawna2343]

my daughter is 9 years old. She's avery smart girl. she can draw really good, but she has these out burts at school and sometimes at home her school is very concerned. they will not help me.everytime she does this is because somebody is messing with her are she doesnt want to do something the teacher tells her.idont know what to do,please help

[Xila31]

I know from my own personal experience that many teachers will not do anything or help the parents at all when other kids are picking on their kid. I was tormented all through my school years by my peers and none of my teachers ever stepped in. The day I returned to 7th grade after my mom died, they announced it over the intercom (I don't know why,) that my mom had died. I happened to be in math class at the time which was the worst class for bullies. All of those kids stood up and cheered about my mom being dead. What did the teacher do? Nothing. He just sat there grading papers. In fact, in my experience any teacher who doesn't do anything is also a bully.

If the school is not willing to take action against bullies, you need to give your daughter the proper tools to take care of herself and her own self-esteem. Bullies don't care if you ignore them. They don't care if you try to stand up for yourself. They don't care if you cry. Instead, get her into a martial arts class, dance class, art class, something outside of that school. Anything to help her build her self-esteem. Show her she is something more than what those kids say. Also do take her to a child psychologist because bullies are severly damaging to a child mentally. If there are any other problems going on they can help you.

[run4you]

Crying when others are messing with her is completely appropriate. I would want to know what the teacher was doing to prevent that from happening in the first place. If they know other kids are messing with her, they need to be doing something to stop it before it starts (talking to the kids, separating them from your daughter, punishing the other kids when it does happen to deter them).

I would be interested in what happens after she cries when she doesn't want to do the work. From a behavioral standpoint, this is a common avoidance tactic. If the crying is getting her out of doing what she doesn't want to do, she's going to do it more often (as in whenever she doesn't want to do anything).

I was picked on in school, and I was stressed out to the max. She might have anxiety from all the kids messing with her. I'd take her to a child psychologist at the very least, a child psychiatrist best case scenario.

I would talk to the teacher and come up with a plan to address the other kids picking on her and on a plan of action for when she cries (ie give her a 3 minutes to calm down, then she HAS to do it with the help of a teacher/aide, etc). It could be possible she has learning issues in the subject she's trying to avoid that she needs help with.