want to avoid chemo

[sanoritaa]

my mom age 50-yrs-old premenstural, was diagnosed 2 months back with stage2 IDC of right breast and Fibroadenoma of the left breast. She had a modified radical mastectomy on the right and a lumpectomy on the left breast. Her path report are as folls: a) tumor size 2cm b) no nodes involved c) all margins are clear d) lymphovascular invasion made out e) ER/PR neg  f) HER2 weakly positive (2%). we really had to convince her so much for the mastectomy as she was not ready for it. none of our relatives know about my mom's health condition as she did not want them to know about it. My question is that does she need chemo...? can we avoid it because her hemoglobin is 7.6% and moreover i think she might go into depression if she takes up chemo....because right from the day she was diagnosed with breast ca, she is really upset and she says us to leave her alone without chemo. as none of our relatives know of her health, she feels if she takes chemo, she may lose her hair and other side effects may reveal that she suffers from cancer.
can we leave her without chemo...? and can we have regular examinations like mammogram, ultrasound, CT chest & bone scan every 6 months and then treat her if needed? our doctor she can be left without chemo but taking it would be better...please answer to my questions...am really worried and upset.  

[katarina777]

Your mom doesn't need inner strength to do chemo.
I hear this all the time how cancer patients are supposedly so strong and courageous...?
I really didn't think that I felt I had a choice about these treatments, never mind that I didn't know the first thing about treatment and cancer.
If your mom has the choice, this is actually a more difficult position to be in, but choosing chemo is not about how strong you are, or weak.
I agree with japdip that your mom , (and I know japdip didn't say exactly that) should be treated for Depression, as in the state she is in now, she cannot really make the  best decision for herself. Nobody can who is depressed. Nobody is really free to chose then, only when the depression lifts.

On my part, I would be too uncourageous not to do chemo if I really had a better chance with it. But your mom may really not need it, and at least may be able to delay making a decision?

I think your moms state of soul is a priority now, and that a good therapist and medication may be of most help to all of you. for this to happen, I would not ask your mom just what she wants, because you already know she wants nothing, but I would take her by the hand and pretty much tell her, and/or take her, like be her'mom'? KAT

[sanoritaa]

thank you for your prompt reply. but though her lymph nodes are not involved what about the statement that says "lymphovascular invasion" made out, can we hope that lymphovascular invasion was only within the breast and has not reached the nodes..
i know that my mom does not have that inner strength to face chemo and she wants to leave her without it..am just worried and upset

[japdip]

First of all this is a decision that should be made by your Mother and her Oncologist. You should offer support in whatever choice she and the Dr. agree upon regarding her treatment. Of course having Chemo might give her a better chance of NO recurrence but once again if the Oncologist isn't insisting on it then perhaps her decision is fine; especially since there was no node involvement. In any event she will be followed closely most likely for at least a year or two every few months. The fact that she prefers to keep her condition private is also her decision and her's alone. If she is subject to depression then why not seek some type of treatment for that? With some medication she may feel better about her situation.   Regards ...