Open question to all women experiencing breast cancer

[kumara]

This time last year I was oblivious of the fact that I had breast cancer. I was leading a full and productive life enjoying my retirement from 38 years of working. Then I saw it was "breast cancer awareness week" and I went for a mammogram. I learned I have stage 2 breast cancer, no node involvement and an excellent prognosis. The result is that I am deaing with double surgery, a lumpectomy followed by a mastectomy, difficulties afterwards with fluid retention and needing to have drains re-inserted for 2 weeks.And since, during the last few months, the very difficult side effects of taking daily the drug "femara", which I'm told I need to take for 5 years. The side effects of this drug  are devasting the quality of my life. I'm told femara will hopefully mean I have a 5 year non-cancer life ahead, but no guarantees. So I find myself seriously wondering would it have been better to remain oblivious of this breast cancer, maybe just had 5 more years of a much better higher quality  of life?

My most amazing mother, who lived to the age of 79, and she went through 2 world wars and a major financial depresssion, told me once "keep away from doctors, they make you sick". ;-)

With hindsight, I wish I had realised what being "hopefully cured" of breast cancer would mean to the quality of my life currently. I think I might have said no thanks, and opted for whatever time I had left without the way I am living now.

Any of your thoughts on this post of mine would be very appreciated. Don't hesitate to speak your mind. ;-)

[Irishgal2]

Don't worry about your first post, everyone has their good and bad days.  It is great that there is a forum such as this for women in our situation.  What is good about the site is the ability to be yourself, express your real feelings and get feedback and support from fellow survirors.

Don't beat yourself up, I have finally learned to let myself have my bad days rather than pretending all is ok all of the time.

Good luck in the forthcoming years.

[mamaboulet]

I recommend going to this link for some of the very best support you will get for your illness and accompanying emotional trauma. I think it is the best breast cancer support site on the internet.

http://bcsupport.org/

[Wendy1021]

Don't discount your own difficult experience.  We all have our moments of discouragement.  My grandmother once told me "don't complain, there's always someone who has it worse".  She was wrong!  That saying expressed to me after a traumatic experience was so set in my brain that it kept me from working through some of my own trauma for 23 years.

This isn't easy for you.  Sometimes the cure does seem worse than the disease.  Let yourself have a good cry.  After that it's OK to think on the brighter side and realize it could be worse.

[kumara]

Please excuse me posting the above. When I read the stories of what others of you are dealing with and your courage I am ashamed of myself.
It was written in a " dark black dog" moment and I tried to delete it later but couldn't.

I salute you all and those who support you here.

Best wishes to you all.