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My six year old son is out of control! Please help!!
My son is 6 years old. He has always been a little weird or different but recently he is acting even stranger.. Like for instance today we were walking and saw a frog hopping. I told my two year old, look at the frog and my 2 year old was hopping like it then my 6 year old goes up to it and tries to kick it. I'm like what are you doing!? No animal deserves for you to kick them.. That right there shows something is wrong with him. They say sociopaths started with being cruel to animals. He always looks depressed.. or he gets really angry. He hits and shoves my two year old or gives him this really evil eye. I tell him that I love him and I try to show my love towards him but sometimes even that is not enough. I don'tknow what to do anymore. I've tried timeouts and spanking.. Neither really work long term. He goes back to the same behavior. I try talking with him so he can express what is going on but then he'll say I don'tunderstand the question or he won't say anything at all. He is anti social at school, he might play with one or two kids, but he doesn'thave a lot of friends. When he plays he gets frustrated and says, I'm not playing anymore. Just gives up instead of just giving it his best. His school work is good though and he reads well but it's just his behavior..What could it be? What shouldI do differently? Any suggestions or advice are greatly appreciated! :)
You have a 6 year old and a 2 year old.
With this you get sibling rivalry and this is very common.
Do not spank him when he does anything untoward. This gives him mixed messages. By you spanking him is in fact giving the message that it is OK to hit. You need to find out why he is hitting his sibling. Give him time out, or put him in his room until he settles down. This will not be easy.
As well as telling him that you do love him, you also need to give him quality time and spend time with him on your own doing things he enjoys. He is probably seeing you give more attention to his younger sibling and this will cause jealousy and resentment.
It is a good idea to get him involved with more physical activities, like running about, playing football, start him up for swimming lessons and any other sport that he has an interest in. Cut down on junk foods and sweets, biscuits and cakes and offer him fresh fruit instead. Keep a note of what he eats to see if there is a link to his moods. Lack of sleep and a child coming down with any type of illness, can also bring on bad mood behaviours.
Have a chat with his school teacher to see if there are any problems there that can be helped with.
The sensory issue that may be a problem is called Dyspraxia and there is lots of information on that on the web.
Whatever you do, do not show that you are stressed and anxious, because your son will pick up your vibes and this could cause more problems.
Hope all goes well.
With this you get sibling rivalry and this is very common.
Do not spank him when he does anything untoward. This gives him mixed messages. By you spanking him is in fact giving the message that it is OK to hit. You need to find out why he is hitting his sibling. Give him time out, or put him in his room until he settles down. This will not be easy.
As well as telling him that you do love him, you also need to give him quality time and spend time with him on your own doing things he enjoys. He is probably seeing you give more attention to his younger sibling and this will cause jealousy and resentment.
It is a good idea to get him involved with more physical activities, like running about, playing football, start him up for swimming lessons and any other sport that he has an interest in. Cut down on junk foods and sweets, biscuits and cakes and offer him fresh fruit instead. Keep a note of what he eats to see if there is a link to his moods. Lack of sleep and a child coming down with any type of illness, can also bring on bad mood behaviours.
Have a chat with his school teacher to see if there are any problems there that can be helped with.
The sensory issue that may be a problem is called Dyspraxia and there is lots of information on that on the web.
Whatever you do, do not show that you are stressed and anxious, because your son will pick up your vibes and this could cause more problems.
Hope all goes well.
Specialmom, That is some really great info. He goes for his yearly check up with his pediatrican in November and I wanted to address the problem to him and see what he says. I agree physical activity helps with mood behavior. Great ideas you gave me. I don't want to label him but I'm worried about him and just want him to be a happy kid. I will look up adhd and sensory issues and see if he fits the symptoms. I hope we can find something that works and he can be a happy kid again. Thank you! :)
Hi. Well, some kids develop at different rates,. I first want to say to not go down the road of sociopath due to his six year old behavior. While looking out for mental illness is always important, it's premature at this point to go there with his current actions in my opinion.
I certainly understand your immediate reaction to his kicking the frog. BUT, what is really important is to talk to him about it. WHY did he kick the frog? What was going on with HIM when that happened? And can you talk to him about how you view hurting animals as something we just don't do. It's really that simple in terms of how to handle this situation. My own son at around that age had some social skills issues. I remember a neighborhood block party in which there were a large group of kids who pretty much ignored him most of the time and they were all standing around this grasshopper. Like it was the coolest thing ever to them. My son went up and stomped on it. They all yelled at him. My son wasn't thinking and was acting on impulse and was trying to be part of the action but didn't get it right when he tried. Is my son a sociopath? Hardly. He was a boy at that time struggling with impulse control and the ability to know how to interact appropriately at all times. We guided him. helped him. etc.
Don't blow things out of proportion like this. Work with him.
As to hitting and fighting with younger siblings. That is hardly unusual. Yes, something to again work on. I will say that spanking, in my opinion, is a very mixed message. Don't hit sibling or i'll hit you. So, I usually took beloved things away like video games, tv, legos, blankie, whatever was the current favorite would be something I used as a consequence.
Now, you write many things that make me really wonder about more going on. Your son appears to lack impulse control and with his issues with friends, these are often hallmark signs of a neurological issue such as add/adhd or sensory integration disorder.
Turns out, my grasshopper stomping son has sensory integration disorder. We did occupational therapy and began doing things that help regulate the nervous system and he is doing really well. He's a great kid but his nervous system was getting in the way.
Maybe talk to your doctor about this. Look up symptoms of adhd and sensory integration disorder. You might be surprised at how well your son fits the category. Once we knew that my sons sensory issues were at the root of his behavior and we worked on them, his behavior got significantly better. And while it took a bit of time, his social skills got better and he began having good friends. He now has a little group of close friends and many acquaintance friends as we call them at age 10. Not so for many years and it warms my heart to see this improvement in his life. We did really 'teach' him social skills. Play skills don't come naturally to every child. We worked on them.
I'm happy to help you in any way if you have any specific examples of things that happen with his sibling or friends.
In the meantime, I'd get him active in something like swimming or take him to the park running and climbing every day. This helps with behavior. You probably think I'm nuts for saying that but occupational therapy combines a lot of muscle work, physical exercise to help regulate the nervous system.
Wishing you well. Some kids require a bit more effort but it is worth it in the end. peace
I certainly understand your immediate reaction to his kicking the frog. BUT, what is really important is to talk to him about it. WHY did he kick the frog? What was going on with HIM when that happened? And can you talk to him about how you view hurting animals as something we just don't do. It's really that simple in terms of how to handle this situation. My own son at around that age had some social skills issues. I remember a neighborhood block party in which there were a large group of kids who pretty much ignored him most of the time and they were all standing around this grasshopper. Like it was the coolest thing ever to them. My son went up and stomped on it. They all yelled at him. My son wasn't thinking and was acting on impulse and was trying to be part of the action but didn't get it right when he tried. Is my son a sociopath? Hardly. He was a boy at that time struggling with impulse control and the ability to know how to interact appropriately at all times. We guided him. helped him. etc.
Don't blow things out of proportion like this. Work with him.
As to hitting and fighting with younger siblings. That is hardly unusual. Yes, something to again work on. I will say that spanking, in my opinion, is a very mixed message. Don't hit sibling or i'll hit you. So, I usually took beloved things away like video games, tv, legos, blankie, whatever was the current favorite would be something I used as a consequence.
Now, you write many things that make me really wonder about more going on. Your son appears to lack impulse control and with his issues with friends, these are often hallmark signs of a neurological issue such as add/adhd or sensory integration disorder.
Turns out, my grasshopper stomping son has sensory integration disorder. We did occupational therapy and began doing things that help regulate the nervous system and he is doing really well. He's a great kid but his nervous system was getting in the way.
Maybe talk to your doctor about this. Look up symptoms of adhd and sensory integration disorder. You might be surprised at how well your son fits the category. Once we knew that my sons sensory issues were at the root of his behavior and we worked on them, his behavior got significantly better. And while it took a bit of time, his social skills got better and he began having good friends. He now has a little group of close friends and many acquaintance friends as we call them at age 10. Not so for many years and it warms my heart to see this improvement in his life. We did really 'teach' him social skills. Play skills don't come naturally to every child. We worked on them.
I'm happy to help you in any way if you have any specific examples of things that happen with his sibling or friends.
In the meantime, I'd get him active in something like swimming or take him to the park running and climbing every day. This helps with behavior. You probably think I'm nuts for saying that but occupational therapy combines a lot of muscle work, physical exercise to help regulate the nervous system.
Wishing you well. Some kids require a bit more effort but it is worth it in the end. peace
Talk to a school counselor. Most districts have someone. Ask the principal.
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