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Five year old Son - Anger Issue? - Help, please!
I have been having quite a time with my 5 year old son. He is the youngest of my four children and has been displaying problems for over a year now.
He can be the sweetest, most loving child. He can be so sweet ... sit with me for a long time ... he loves to be hugged and loves to show emotion at times. He behaves, uses manners, says yes please, no thank you .. etc. He'll do what he's asked or told to do and with no arguments -- it's great.
Then, he can turn in an instant. You almost don't know when this will happen. It doesn't have to be anything to make him mad -- it can be just after he wakes up or it can be after he gets home from school. He's even done a couple of things at school (recently) -- nothing as serious at home, but I'm worried that it's escalating in nature. Sometimes the change can be due to being told no, being asked to do something, one of his friends not playing with him, his brother or sister not playing with him ... etc. Sometime it can be something serious that causes the change and sometimes it can be be little .. and sometimes absoltuely nothing at all, there is no pattern in what causes it.
When he gets angry ... his eyes get big -- he starts breathing angrily -- big, deep breaths that you can hear ... He'll yell, he'll run at you and hit, kick, scratch you. He has had times when he says I hate you, or I want a new Mom (sister, brother, etc.) He'll say he wants to go to a new home, he'll even escalate at times and say he wants to kill you or he has stab he'll stab you - etc. He can be just angry and mad or he can say really violent things -- again, no pattern. It's really scary.
When he's in his good moods, we almost all walk on eggshells and I know it shouldn't be that way. We do almost anything we can to "preserve" the good moments and try to make the angry moments less. The problem is, we can't always know when one might come on and almost anything (or nothing at all) can trigger it.
When he gets angry -- we just don't know what to do. Yelling is no good, we all know that. If someone yells back - or threatens to spank -- or tries to spank .. he just thinks you're fighting with him. It's no good. However, he won't do time out ... or anything "rational" because he's in a completely unrational state. I wish I could explain it better, but I really don't know how to.
I've looked into behavior therapy, but everything is out of network and they want tons of money to start any kind of therapy. I don't think simple counseling is going to help my son -- when he's not in his moments - he doesn't understand what you're talking about ... why you're talking to him about being angry -- or, you run the possbiltiy of getting him angry just by talking about it. When he's in his anger state -- he won't listen. Nothing you say gets to him, it's as if his sense of hearing is turned off and everything irrational has turned on suddenly.
Help, please! I love my son and do not want this problem to escalate to something more serious. I am so worried that things have been slowly escalating as he didn't use to act this way at school .. but, in the past two weeks .... I've been called once by his principal because he (my five year old son in Kindergarten) kicked a third grader in the bathroom and left marks on him. Then, the other day he got angry at his teacher and took his glasses off and broke them -- just because he was angry.
Oh, that's something I forgot to include -- he does break things, tear things up, and throw things. If you send him to his room -- or if he's in a room that has things in it ... when he's angry, he will break or throw things. Just today he threw things around in my daughter's room and we've yet to get him to clean them. He just doesn't respond to us when he gets in these modes. They can last anywhere from a few minutes to the whole day.
If anyone has been through anything similar, please let me know -- or, if you have any ideas / thoughts on what I can do for him.
Thanks for listening (well, reading)!
He can be the sweetest, most loving child. He can be so sweet ... sit with me for a long time ... he loves to be hugged and loves to show emotion at times. He behaves, uses manners, says yes please, no thank you .. etc. He'll do what he's asked or told to do and with no arguments -- it's great.
Then, he can turn in an instant. You almost don't know when this will happen. It doesn't have to be anything to make him mad -- it can be just after he wakes up or it can be after he gets home from school. He's even done a couple of things at school (recently) -- nothing as serious at home, but I'm worried that it's escalating in nature. Sometimes the change can be due to being told no, being asked to do something, one of his friends not playing with him, his brother or sister not playing with him ... etc. Sometime it can be something serious that causes the change and sometimes it can be be little .. and sometimes absoltuely nothing at all, there is no pattern in what causes it.
When he gets angry ... his eyes get big -- he starts breathing angrily -- big, deep breaths that you can hear ... He'll yell, he'll run at you and hit, kick, scratch you. He has had times when he says I hate you, or I want a new Mom (sister, brother, etc.) He'll say he wants to go to a new home, he'll even escalate at times and say he wants to kill you or he has stab he'll stab you - etc. He can be just angry and mad or he can say really violent things -- again, no pattern. It's really scary.
When he's in his good moods, we almost all walk on eggshells and I know it shouldn't be that way. We do almost anything we can to "preserve" the good moments and try to make the angry moments less. The problem is, we can't always know when one might come on and almost anything (or nothing at all) can trigger it.
When he gets angry -- we just don't know what to do. Yelling is no good, we all know that. If someone yells back - or threatens to spank -- or tries to spank .. he just thinks you're fighting with him. It's no good. However, he won't do time out ... or anything "rational" because he's in a completely unrational state. I wish I could explain it better, but I really don't know how to.
I've looked into behavior therapy, but everything is out of network and they want tons of money to start any kind of therapy. I don't think simple counseling is going to help my son -- when he's not in his moments - he doesn't understand what you're talking about ... why you're talking to him about being angry -- or, you run the possbiltiy of getting him angry just by talking about it. When he's in his anger state -- he won't listen. Nothing you say gets to him, it's as if his sense of hearing is turned off and everything irrational has turned on suddenly.
Help, please! I love my son and do not want this problem to escalate to something more serious. I am so worried that things have been slowly escalating as he didn't use to act this way at school .. but, in the past two weeks .... I've been called once by his principal because he (my five year old son in Kindergarten) kicked a third grader in the bathroom and left marks on him. Then, the other day he got angry at his teacher and took his glasses off and broke them -- just because he was angry.
Oh, that's something I forgot to include -- he does break things, tear things up, and throw things. If you send him to his room -- or if he's in a room that has things in it ... when he's angry, he will break or throw things. Just today he threw things around in my daughter's room and we've yet to get him to clean them. He just doesn't respond to us when he gets in these modes. They can last anywhere from a few minutes to the whole day.
If anyone has been through anything similar, please let me know -- or, if you have any ideas / thoughts on what I can do for him.
Thanks for listening (well, reading)!
We have the same problem with our grandson.The doctor called itOppositional Defiant Disorder.He is now on medicain an has been doing great
It is called Oppositional Defiant Dis order.My grandson has this an Abilify has been great for him.
If your grandson has ODD and is on Abilify I would be concerned. Abilify is not indicated to treat ODD and is an atypical antipsychotic for Bipolar Disorder. I would think your grandson's Dr should have started out with and antidepressant before jumping to the "big gun"
And how do you know pwarden's grandsons doctor DIDN'T start out with an anti-depressaant?
I am in the same boat with my 5 year old daughter. Her anger is getting out of control and the word no seems to be the trigger. She is my only child and I wrk 2 jobs and the father is not around as of 8 months ago. I am in a loss and am willing to try anything. The time out does not work,taking things away,spanking,nothing seems to work and I can see it getting worse. Getting ready for school is a nightmare.
I called a few places for counsling and the money is out of line. They wantlike 400.00 for the first 2 hours. Who has that kind of money. Not me...
I called a few places for counsling and the money is out of line. They wantlike 400.00 for the first 2 hours. Who has that kind of money. Not me...
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