My son does not listen at all

[megochick101]

My son is 2 1/2 and does not listen to anything i say. he throws 20 + temper tantrums a day( and they can last up to an hour sometimes) Anytime he does not get his way he throws himself on the floor and kicks, screams beats his fists and also sometimes bangs his head on the carpet. and whenever i try to hold him and help him calm down he lashes out at me trying to hit/ kick whatever he can do. i don't know what to do anymore! he is a very loving and great boy besides this so i don't understand why or how to help him. It's like whatever i say no to(like climbing on tables/counters or opening oven) he just keeps doing over and over again. I've tired time outs, i've tried spanking, when i discipline him i explain what he did wrong, and i'm at a loss here. i know he's in the "terrible two" stages but he just
seems to take it to the extreme. I don't know how to handle this anymore. nothing I've tried is working! Please HELP!

[megochick101]

thanks for the advice. I have used the detraction tactic where i'll give him something else he can play with instead of just saying "nop you can't play with that" something it works sometimes it doesn't. he's always very determined to get his way. I know some of his temper is probably from me and his father because we both do have tempers sometimes, but we try to curb it so he doesn't see or hear us when we are mad. i started in the last couple days, whenever I yell or anything like that i'll tell him i'm sorry and tell him that mama needs a timeout and go sit quietly in the corner chair(that's his timeout chair) I'm hoping by doing that he'll see that sometimes everyone messes up and even mommy and daddy take timeouts like he does when we do something wrong. it's at least starting to help me because he's getting alot better at taking his timeouts without multiple tantrums.(plus i get quiet time because whenever i do this he just looks at me confused and is quiet for a bit lol)

[supermomma531]

Have you tried to make him clean up his own messes with your help? You may have to physically make him do it. But the tantrums are a part of terrible two's and can last for a while. It's all in how you as the parent handle the situation. Does anyone else discipline him or help you with him? Remember that you are his role model and he will mimic the behavior he sees anywhere. As soon as you see these behaviors, they need to be squashed. Both you and his dad need to be one force so that he sees that he's not going to get away with anything. Parenting is such a tough issue. There are always decisions to be made. I know from personal experience with my 7 yr old who is disabled. He has the mentality of a 4-5 yr old. Plus we have a 15 month old as well as a 10 yr old. I have gone through the games they play by going to both parents to get what they want. My 7 yr old still tries to play his dad and I. There should be some information on this forum on how to handle this kind of behavior. If you can't get any information, maybe speaking with your doctor about it will help. He/She may be able to refer you to some sort of group to help your situation out. Good Luck. Have a great day! Also too, have you tried to distract him with some other kind of activity to try to get him to stop the behavior that's not wanted? Almost all toddlers are very active and every child has some sort of  temper tantrums. I believe it's all in how you as the parent/caregiver handle the situation as best as you can. Ask for help from your spouse, family, friends, etc.  

[megochick101]

oh and also, whenever he is in his room(which is his playroom too) he takes his diaper off and will poo/pee on the floor and spread it around. I've had to tape his diaper at nap and bedtimes as it's the only way i can prevent this. and he seems to think this is funny and i don't know how to stop this behavior either