Possessive Child with one Parent

Question

My 3 yr old step daughter is very jealous of her father giving me attention. If it is dinner time, she "HAS" to sit by him in arms reach or she will fall out in tears and screaming. He can only bathe her when he is around, he can only go w/her to the bathroom, she is now even demanding that he drives when we are all in the car together. WE don't allow my son (7 yrs old) to sleep in the bed with us, but yet the father allows her to fall asleep in the bed with him before I get to bed. Otherwise, she will throw a fit - scream & cry. HEEELLLP!!

LRM1021 · Answer

I don't agree that blended families almost never work (most of the blended families that I know work just perfectly). I think they do take more work sometimes.

My suggestion is that you tell your husband that you can't, and shouldn't, let this persist any longer because its not healthy for your new family unit.

He then has to be the one to stop giving in to his daughter. If he does this, she will put up more of a fight, but only at first-- eventually, she will learn that pushing you away or trying to get between you two or trying to monopolize her father will not result in a better relationship with him. 

If he does not change his ways with her and stop giving in to her, then you are down to the two aforementioned options - learn to live with it, or leave-- its really that simple.

RockRose · Answer

From a practical standpoint,  you have two choices.

1.  Accept this gracefully and give up fighting it.  Don't talk about it or appear to notice.

2.  Move out.

I don't think your choices will change no matter what you do in the next 5 years.  You just have a decision to make - live with it happily,  or move out.

Blended families almost never work.