help

[mummyt3]

My 2yr old son is a monster ! He bites,nips,scratches my 3yr old daughter but no 1 else ! He doesnt listen to me or his dad, shouts at us wen we tell him off, he laughs at us & goes & does it again. Iv tried everything even put him in nursery a few hrs a day

[adgal]

The one on one time is really important and I also think much of this is probably due to jealousy.  I can also say (I also have a 2 year old) that this is a perfect time to teach him.  When my son does any of these things...bites, scratches, anything like that I immediately stop him.  I get right down on his level and explain to him that we don't hurt.  I use simple language and talk in a very calm but firm voice.  They understand far more then we think they do.  We talk about all the things we can do with our hands...holding hands, playing with toys, giving hugs (get that book "Hands are not for hitting").  And I also use time outs.  I tell him to stop and then start counting to 3.  At 3 I pick him up and put him in his room.  2 minutes is enough.  We have now reached the point that as soon as I start counting, he stops the behavior.  I rarely get to 3 anymore.  

Part of the key to this is to stay calm with him.  Yelling and screaming just doesn't work.  Firm and consistent consequences work very very well, at least with my child. It takes time though and it's very important you follow through.  Best of luck to you!

[mummyt3]

Thank u for the more helpfull advice :)

[margypops]

yes thats probably the reason ,he is feeling left out and is acting out, the  bad behavior is getting attention,  get his dad playing games, give him some one to one time whilst Dad looks after baby .If you think about it you can see thats what is going on ..He was your baby and is feeling jealous and usurped , This is very common in fact I would say its one of the main subjects we get asked about.

[mummyt3]

4 the record i dint say i couldnt controll him ! I cant use the play pen idea as he climbs out of everything...... pram,highchair,saftey gates,play pen etc even wen hes strapped in & i use his rains as extra straps, so instead i use a naughty step he will stay there but laugh at us then wen his times up he will return to doing bad behavior ! & yes hes in nursery 3hrs a day i put him in to see if it calmed him down or something but hes good there but is naughty wen he gets bk home, although not as bad as usuall. Also iv just had another bby so i think thats another reason for his behavior.

[allmymarbles]

Are you seriously saying that you cannot control a two-year-old? When he misbehaves (or starts to misbehave) dump him in his playpen and leave him there until he gets the idea. You take him out. He misbehaves again. Put him back in. End of story. You can't let a two-year-old run your life. What will you do when he is 15?

[margypops]

PS  Is he in day care ?

[margypops]

Could he have learned the behavior from anyone , does the 3 year treat him okay ..At 2 I would say he is too young to behave like this with out seeing it in someone else , does he watch TV could some come from that ?