Son with no self-control/diagnosed add/possible aspergers

[jen8569]

I am at a loss for our son. We have him in therapy and it does not seem to help. What do you do with a child who takes no responsibility for actions, no self control, doesn't follow rules (home or otherwise), makes people mad on purpose, doesn't follow through with instructions for chores, ignores requests, cannot make friends because he annoys them, desires friendships but has none because they can't stand his behaviors, is rigid in thinking, argues everything, will not follow through with instruction,and this year he got so fixated on a disagreement over a violation of his religious rights that when she wouldn't budge he burnt himself, then they call children services to investigate. We have other children and we are afraid his choices or whatever is going on with him is putting our family at risk and himself. If you compliment any progress he will sabatoge it. We have done rewards, consequences, contracts, charts, grounding,severe discipline times, light discipline times and he is on Concerta and zoloft. It is like he needs the supervison of a toddler. This is overwhelming and exhausting on our family. He can be fun but will ruin it by starting arguments or getting handsy with people or name call. He takes everything personally. Therapy does not seem to be working. What can we do?

[jen8569]

If we need to go out we can leave him home by himself. When by himself he is okay the worst he does is eat things he shouldn't (someone else's or told not that for anther meal or until something is all gone). He does attend public school and they do not seem to suggest much just suspend him. I have asked about oppositional difiant and was suggest no, but maybe new testing will say otherwise. He has been taking meds since 4th grade. He has never been on mood stabilizer but I understand zoloft to be an anti-depressent. He has a dr. appt. tuesday and we are going to ask about a mood stabilizer.He does go to therapy and loves going, however he doesn't take their suggestions to him on how to handle conflict situations or even suggestions in other areas he just goes off his impulse. It as if he know right from wrong, what you would do in most situations,but when it comes down to it for him, he lacks the ability to follow through in action what he knows in his mind. If this were just a few areas it would not be so overwelming but this is all areas in all environments. We are willing to do whatever we can that is within our finances. We have looked into behavioral camps or schools, but the finances are not there. I don't want him to be away, I would like him to succeed at home & have his siblings enjoy him.

[momagain59]

I feel your pain and I do know how stressful a child with special needs that are mostly behavioral can be on a family. I hope you have someone that can watch him so you can get time away. Does he attend public school? If so, does he have a behavioral plan? Has Oppositional Defiant been mentioned at all? Is the Dr. that you mentioned a psychiatrist? If not, I would take him to see one. If so, and he does not offer any other ideas, I would change his Dr. How long has he been taking these meds? Have other meds been tried? Has he ever been on a mood stabilizer or anti-depressants? I understand that no one wants to medicate a child but in order for him to be more productive and lead a somewhat normal life, he needs to be on the right meds. Does he go to therapy?

[jen8569]

2 different school psychologist and 1 private psychologist have all suggested possible aspergers and that is one of the test we will be getting back this week. From what I have read up on aspergers he does display some othe traits with talking excessively about things that interest him and does not pick up on social cues as the most obvious ones.

[jen8569]

You are bold in your response. We love our son and have always tried everything any professional and non professionals have suggested we try. We have taken parenting classes to better understand teens or even for other tips or ideas. We are in this with him, we are not pawning him off for someone else to deal with and believe he is a wonderful kid who has a great personality and potential. Intellectually he is very smart. Socially he does is extremely immature all. I am here using this as another possible source to help us be able to help him reach his potential socially so that kids will want to be his friend.  We do have therapy with him. We also have other children and know that kids will be kids and they mature with time. He just isn't maturing with time. Our expectations are realistic at least according to the school and therapist since they have the same expectations. I am hear looking for suggestions or words of hope that someone else has dealt with similiar things and what they can offer up for wisdom.

[jen8569]

New testing was done and will get results this week, but as for now it is Adhd and possible aspergers.Concerta was for adhd and the zoloft was prescribed because he gets vocal tics on stimulants. Not the best choice but it is what I guess needs to be done otherwise we have nothing to help with hyperactivity. Have asked dr. about other meds, but doesn't seem to offer anything else. I don't know that meds is the only answer.

[jen8569]

He is 15 years old, soon to be 16.