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cant control 5 kids - help
I am a mother of 2 girls. I am with a guy who has 3 kids. The ages of the kids are 6, 4.5, 4, 3, and 1.5 I stay at home with all of them so my bf can go to work. His kids have had a rough life with their mother, she abused them trumendously and now we have behavior issues all the time here. At first it was just stealing food, cuz she didn't feed them. Now it's progressing into lying, stealing, and hurting the others in the family. I can't take it any more. His kids don't listen 6, 4.5 and 3 no matter what I tell them they say ok, then do the opposite of what i said to do. My 4 year old is now not listening and following in their footsteps. I have tried listening to their problems and anything they want to talk about, I have yelled and spanked. Nothing is working. Everything to these kids is a game. THey think it's funny or just don't care about anything. I don't know what to do, I can't get them to listen and do what i ask of them, they ignore me and they just don't care. When you are saying something serious about doing something or to stop hurting the baby she just smiles. I can't stand it anymore!! and advice on helping them listen better and mind, or helping them care about themselves or others would be greatly appreciated! Just today, 2 of his kids were running in the street and didn't care that I told them not to and that it wasn't safe. I went to the store and the oldest tried stealing from walmart! while we are in the car, all they do is play fight like pulling hair, hitting, slamming heads into the door, pulling down pants, everything and more that annoys you while you drive. only ten times as bad.
I know there are many teenagers who would love to babysit and earn a little money and they probably would have more patience and energy than an adult too! Check around your neighborhood and see if there's any teenage girls (sorry, I just don't trust the teenage boys with babysitting as much) who are interested in babysitting. It's good to find one that took the babysitting class. I think if you check with your local daycare liscensing company, they also keep names of the teenage babysitters who took the babysitting classes. Some local hospitals also offer the classes so they might be able to help you with names, not sure though. Local youth centers too have a list of babysitters names usually. Hope any of that helps!
Ya we need something, it's very overwhelming. I think there is a good possibility that something could have happened to one or both the older children. I don't know exactly what yet, or who. But the suspicion is there.
Their father on the other hand doesn't think that the kids have been abused that way, but does know that they've seen tooo much from their mother. Once they walked in on her and her bouyfriend, and he was just in his boxers and their mother was totally naked. In the living room. I don't know what was all going on there, or what all they saw, but I'm sure it wasn't just a one time happening. She cheated on my fiance throughout their marriage!
The only family I have fairly close is about an hour away, but she's as over whelmed with the kids as I am. We lived in her house with her family for 3 months before we moved into this house, recently (a month ago). She was sick of all their **** as well, but I'm trying to stick it out and keep my hopes up. I know the kids can be helped it's just going to be a long process. Any time I need my sis to watch the kids because of other appointments or whatever... the kids keep stilling food from her house and her kids. If they all have juice, then when no one is looking they will take the babies (2yr) juice, just cuz they want more. She's tired of them going over and not respecting her and her house as well. So I hate even asking if she'll take the kids once in a while, cuz I know what happens there.. same as happens here.
Their father on the other hand doesn't think that the kids have been abused that way, but does know that they've seen tooo much from their mother. Once they walked in on her and her bouyfriend, and he was just in his boxers and their mother was totally naked. In the living room. I don't know what was all going on there, or what all they saw, but I'm sure it wasn't just a one time happening. She cheated on my fiance throughout their marriage!
The only family I have fairly close is about an hour away, but she's as over whelmed with the kids as I am. We lived in her house with her family for 3 months before we moved into this house, recently (a month ago). She was sick of all their **** as well, but I'm trying to stick it out and keep my hopes up. I know the kids can be helped it's just going to be a long process. Any time I need my sis to watch the kids because of other appointments or whatever... the kids keep stilling food from her house and her kids. If they all have juice, then when no one is looking they will take the babies (2yr) juice, just cuz they want more. She's tired of them going over and not respecting her and her house as well. So I hate even asking if she'll take the kids once in a while, cuz I know what happens there.. same as happens here.
Oh wow. This sounds overwhelming. Do you think there was any kind of sexual abuse in any of the kids past? Do you have any friends or family anywhere nearby that can help you? I would try to find a counselor that you are more comfortable with if you can..
I guess getting the kids to keep their clothes on is probably the number one priority right now, huh?? Duct tape maybe?? LOL!! I think you may need more a support system.. maybe the kindergarten teacher or headstart teacher can recommend someone to come in and help out until the kids behavior starts to settle down. Maybe a highschool student or someone like that. Someone who could stay around the house while you are there also until you and the kids are comfortable with them ..?
I guess getting the kids to keep their clothes on is probably the number one priority right now, huh?? Duct tape maybe?? LOL!! I think you may need more a support system.. maybe the kindergarten teacher or headstart teacher can recommend someone to come in and help out until the kids behavior starts to settle down. Maybe a highschool student or someone like that. Someone who could stay around the house while you are there also until you and the kids are comfortable with them ..?
Oh wow. This sounds overwhelming. Do you think there was any kind of sexual abuse in any of the kids past? Do you have any friends or family anywhere nearby that can help you? I would try to find a counselor that you are more comfortable with if you can..
I guess getting the kids to keep their clothes on is probably the number one priority right now, huh?? Duct tape maybe?? LOL!! I think you may need more a support system.. maybe the kindergarten teacher or headstart teacher can recommend someone to come in and help out until the kids behavior starts to settle down. Maybe a highschool student or someone like that. Someone who could stay around the house while you are there also until you and the kids are comfortable with them ..?
I guess getting the kids to keep their clothes on is probably the number one priority right now, huh?? Duct tape maybe?? LOL!! I think you may need more a support system.. maybe the kindergarten teacher or headstart teacher can recommend someone to come in and help out until the kids behavior starts to settle down. Maybe a highschool student or someone like that. Someone who could stay around the house while you are there also until you and the kids are comfortable with them ..?
Thanks for your advice I appreciate it, and it does help. We are new to the area where we live so the only people I know are those who teach the kids when they are in kindergarden or headstart. It's hard trusting people now days, so you don't want just anyone watching your children. And I'm afraid that if me and my fiance do have a date night even just once a month, finding that person to watch them will be really, really hard. And if we find someone, I'm afraid that the kids will make it horrible for the sitter, and them not want to come back! I don't want that, but I do agree that a date night, and some time for myself will help to not get too overstressed. I don't know that I can afford to take the kids to a daycare place for a day, because of how many kids I do have...
really anything we do as a family costs at leat $60... not to mention if me and dad went out once in a while, paying a sitter will add lots to that cost... but I'm going to see what I can find, and hopefully we will get more time for eachother, and I'll get sometime to be just me, for a little while. Thanks for your help
really anything we do as a family costs at leat $60... not to mention if me and dad went out once in a while, paying a sitter will add lots to that cost... but I'm going to see what I can find, and hopefully we will get more time for eachother, and I'll get sometime to be just me, for a little while. Thanks for your help
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