spanking

[elizabeth22]

Please help...I have three boys ages 5,4 and 20 months.I didnt believe in spanking my boys at an early age and refused to although their father(who does not live with us) did and now the boys are out of hand. THey listen to their Dad and not me and now i feel like i failed as a parent and just want to give up, now he says its all because i didnt listen to him and that i should just sign the two older ones over to him. I cant give up on my kids i just need some advice or help on what to do now. I actually tried to spank them today and they pretty much laughed and said it didnt hurt which i didnt intend it to anyway i think it is too late for that but now what do i do?Any parents or people raised with/without spanking your comments will be greatly apprecciated.....I am new to this site but am really enjoying it...i love how people can just vent how they feel without anyone sayinhg they are right or wrong but just their opinion on the subject.

[adgal]

Look, you can discipline your children how you see fit.  I'm not here to judge you or anyone else.  I gave the original poster my opinion as did the others.  I personally don't spank.  To me, spanking is hitting.  I don't see the difference.  The American Pediatric Association no longer recommends physical punishment.  I tend to follow the guidelines listed there in most things.  If you choose to spank, that's up to you.  But please respect mine and others that feel the same way I do as well.  My child does have strong guidelines in place, he does not just do whatever he wants, and when we have a disciplinary issue my methods have worked quite well with him.  I am his mother, and this is my decision to make. When asked my opinion on a subject, I give it.  The poster can take what they like or ignore the whole thing..up to them.  But I am beginning to feel like you are trying to convince me otherwise by telling me that he is going to grow up the wrong way.  I was not spanked, and turned out fine.  I intend to do the same.

[pittfan17]

What+did+the+lady+say+in+her+question.they+listen+to+their+dad+but+not+her.becuz+they+know+they+cant+run+over+him+becuz+hes+goin+to+discipline+them

[pittfan17]

Its+not+about+im+bigger+and+stronger+than+you.its+about+getting+the+point+across+that+im+the+parent+and+u+made+me+unhappy.kids+want+to+make+their+parents+happy+a+spanking+makes+them+understand+i+mustve+made+my+parents+pretty+mad.so+i+wont+do+that+again.and+i+wish+everyone+wud+stop+actin+like+im+going+ufc+style+on+a+kid+here.smacking+a+childs+but+with+an+open+hand+is+hitting+the+child.im+not+saying+hit+the+kid+in+the+face+or+beat+him+within+an+inch+of+his+life.im+sayin+certain+things+call+4+a+few+good+open+hands+across+the+butt.i+watched+my+ex+scream+and+shout+and+use+timeout+until+she+was+on+the+verge+of+going+crazy.im+sorry+but+im+the+adult.my+kid+wont+curse+me+out+or+disrespect+grownups+without+punishment.thats+just+how+i+c+it.to+know+respect+u+gotta+be+taught+respect

[adgal]

If my child were bullying a special needs child or any child for that matter, me bullying him is not going to teach him it's wrong.  There would definately be a punishment and teaching involved, but no, I wouldn't hit him.  I think that hitting kids makes them bully other children, because part of the message is "I am bigger and stronger, therefor I can treat you as I like".  Same thing a bully does right?

I also was not spanked.  I was yelled at, and that was bad enough.  It made me fearful and that is about it.  I am respectful of others (although am not perfect by any means), and I also respect my son.  If I displeased my husband (overspent the charge card or something) and he hit me (even just a whack on the butt)?  I'd charge him with abuse.  What's the difference.

[pittfan17]

I+rele+have+gotten+into+this+subject.so+id+like+to+ask+all+of+you+a+question.say+there+is+a+special+needs+child+at+school.teacher+tells+you+that+ur+child+has+been+teasing+him+and+makeing+fun+of+him.youre+honestly+telling+me+id+be+wrong+to+spank+him+4+hurting+that+childs+feelings%3F

[margypops]

Sorry Oriole hitting is hitting however you describe it ... I was never hit as I child, not once,not even one of these 'pops' one hears about,  I grew up respectful because I was treated that way .,I also grew with a self esteem and a good character. I do know that children who were hit and not respected grew up to do it to others and had many problems in their lives ...I don't care if its called 'popping' spanking' or any other combination, its hitting another human being ..and I don't believe that's right unless hes attacking me then I would have to 'whack ' him but ..that's self defence ...when children are hit its out of a need to control ........