No question.

[Poo44clooner]

Just found out that they were right about me.
I'm a freak.
I'm invisible.
No one can hear me.
So don't bother.

[senile1]

Hi, am glad to hear from you. I was getting a littled worried. You ever thought about getting out and doing volunteer work. You seem to be a very loving person, there is someone out there that would welcome you with open arms. It feels good when you do something to help others out. I am glad you have pets. I have five cats. two dogs. four horses and a bunch of cows. But my baby is a black cat named 'Shorty' . she does not have a tail. Hence the name . lol. Why don't you come up with another name besides freak of the family? Quit putting yourself down. I bet you are the fun one of the family. I am getting off work, so  i will talk to you when i get back to work to nite.

[Poo44clooner]

Thank you for your kind words, they do mean a lot to me.  I should take better care of myself and put myself first instead of dropping everything and running to my family's rescue.  It is all about guilt, if I don't do anything about it when they need help.
Yes I do have a wonderful pet.  His name is Poosho.  He is 3y/o, Jack Russell mix.  He is just the right size, not above my knees.  He is such a sweetheart and I love him so much.  He was abandoned twice and my daughter found him on the internet. Funny I swore off getting another pet but when we saw him we couldn't resist.  Every night I cuddle with him, especially when I feel alone and sad, and he lays his head on my shoulder and sighs, that's when I know he loves me too.  We have had him for over a year.  Felt like we have had him forever.  You're right pets are the best.
Hope all is well with you.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[Poo44clooner]

I am sorry if I keep harping on the same thing but I feel comfortable discussing this with you.  I think you get what I am saying.  There was another family gathering  and I had decided not to go because I was tired of their crap.  So my dad calls me and asks why I was not coming. I told him I couldn't.  So he said then who is going to do the dishes. Well God forbid my sisters-in-law or brothers might step up to the plate, no pun intended.  My confidence is not that great. I remember thinking how ugly I was growing up as a teenager and I think at about 16y/o I asked my dad if he thought I was beautiful. He said, "Angela you will always be cute but never beautiful." Needless to say I was crushed. You know I have to ask myself, why at age 50 am I still seeking his approval. I shouldn't  be doing that. Have to stop.
Hope all is going well with you.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[innerchild09]

I understand what you mean wanting to help and stuff and its good to help it really is. Still theres a line that is crossed. Its good to help people but if its getting in the way of your own mental health then I think putting yourself would be the best. Im sorry that you feel guilty not helping but truth is you are not guilty. Sometimes you need to take care of you. And plus they treat you like **** and they act like you are invisable. They dont help you when you need help. They make you feel like nothing you do is good enough. And sorry about my strong opinions today but the thing he said about obese people makes me mad. Not because you said he said that. But mad that he said something so insensitive and judgemental. He obviosly hasnt been big. of course them not having any feelings is completely rediculus. I dont know if he really believes that or is just being a jerk but if he really thinks they dont have feelings then theres something wrong with him. In fact a lot of them are probably depressed too because some arent able to do things they used to be able to do and they get tired easy and then people terrorize them and just say they are lazy and all that. Not saying everyone isnt happy whos overweight. Im sure theres a lot of people who are perfectly happy the way they are and not feeling like they need to change a thing. And then theres the ones who look in the mirror and feel ugly and worthless. And its just like OMG that someone would say something so mean. Sorry I kind of ranted a bit in your post but people like that really push my buttons. Im sorry this is the kind of things you have to hear and that he told your daughter this. Good for her defending you (plus if your just a little overweight thats not obese and even if you are obese or just a bit overweight or your skinny its just rude his comment.) I think with you i think that you sometimes see that they dont really deserve your help but your a really nice person and is willing to do anything to help and then if you dont you feel bad about it. To me that makes you a good person. I still hope you will put your needs first. Just letting you know Im still listening.

[Poo44clooner]

Thank you for thinking of me it does mean a lot.  I know that when your family members consider you as invisible, less than they are, a mess, your feelings don't matter or even your thoughts. It hurts when my dad continually tells me that he feels sorry for my teenage daughter because she has no parents. I said I am her mother, he said, yea, but look at you.  Also, it's great when my dad tells my daughter that people who are obese don't have feelings and my daughter tried to defend me.  I used to be thin but still that wasn't good enough for him, it was always something.  I told him when I was in my 20s that I wanted to work in a lab and he said in a very hurtful way "Why be a janitor when you can be a doctor?"  I became a Clinical Laboratory Scientist for 15 years, it was never good enough.  If I tell my mother or father something that they should know they don't believe me but when either my older or younger brother says the same exact thing, they think he is a genius.  During family gatherings, doesn't matter if  both my brothers' wives were at the table, I was instructed in front of everyone to get up and start clearing the table and do the dishes and while I'm doing the dishes, I hear him yelling "get the coffee started, get the milk out, fruit and the cake."  No one helps.  Happens every single time.  I have more examples like this.  I am there but invisible, but when they need help I live 5 minutes away from my parents and they call me first because they know that I would and do drop everything and race over there to help especially if they are hurt.  My teenage daughter brought this to my attention and has tried to stop me from doing this.  I just can't stop trying to help people, I start to feel guilty.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[senile1]

Hi, I know it ***** being left out, but don't let it get you down. you don't want to be sick all the time.I have depression and the panic attacks, and they are awful.Been there. I don't know you, but i enough to care that you don't want go down that road. You have a friend right here, ME! good or bad. I think something is very wrong if your family treats you that way. you sound like you are a very sweet person,with a lot of love to give. I don't have a lot of friends either. have you tried getting you a pet? I have two cats and i love them dearly. They will be a lot of company for you. Mine make life a little easier.