Nobody cares about me, literally

[gumbygumby]

What the hell is somebody supposed to do when they quite literally have no reason to live?

[1900116]

I've been where you are now. I've said what you are saying, almost word for word. Depression skews perspective so that you are unable to recognize what feelings are your feelings and what feelings are the manifestations of depression. When I was depressed I felt like I had no one. I attempted suicide and was hospitalized. I got out and was shocked to find how upset everyone was. I was horrified when I realized that the possibility of no longer having me hurt everyone so much. I discovered that suicide would hurt everyone so much. I used that as my reason to live: I can't hurt people by not living. You're in a really rough spot. It gets smoother. And, when I was depressed I thought that every person that said this to me didn't understand my individual situation so I never believed people when they said I would feel better. But, you will feel better. Do everything you can to get your doctor appointment and meds squared away. There are other things you can do while you wait. Take St John's Wart, vitamin B, and folic acid. They are natural anti depressants. Eat a balanced diet. Avoid alcohol, sugar, processed food, and caffeine. Try to get enough sleep. Try to exercise. Go outside and get fresh air and sunshine. Don't isolate yourself. Make your environment a cheerful one: hang up pictures of things that make you happy, keep it well lit. Take advantage of hotlines and websites, they're free therapy. Try to distract yourself and not focus on how badly you feel. I found that writing helped a lot. Try keeping a journal. Some people prefer art, music, exercise, etc. You can try painting, photography, playing an instrument, listening to music, running, yoga, meditating, aromatherapy. Every morning take a hot shower. Do every little thing you can do make yourself feel better. All the little things add up. You should see if there are any non-profits around you. A lot of places offer cheap mental-health care.
Keep fighting. Don't succumb to depression. It'll get better. You have to want it to get better.
And, if you need to get away from your environment you don't have to start a new family. There are many options to get away and put yourself in a new, healthier situation. And, there are many of these options that you need very little money to start.

[gumbygumby]

Called to confirm the time of my next appointment that ive been waiting for forever has been cancelled because the disrespectful, sadistic ******* of a dr that destroyed the last hope i could force myself to have by giving me that abilify thought it would be appropriate to cancel my new appointment because it wasnt with him...

Absolutely hilarious. I want to be a writer, but you can't write stuff like this.

[boogieman]

Cont'd-and have been able to get better through the use of available resources. I understand your frustration with the doctors and meds, I've been trying different meds since 91, and haven't found the perfect combination, but I seem to be getting closer. The basics of proper nutrition, enough sleep, and exercise will help greatly. Also, there are likely support groups in your area free of charge that are composed of others dealing with similar issues. I wish you the best, and stay in touch with us here, we will help you through this. Take care, GM---

[boogieman]

Hello. First of all, there are people on this site that care about you. That's because we've been right where you are,

[gumbygumby]

was on an ocd medication for most of my life but now when i see doctors they strongly disagree with the decisions. Poisoned a child with an addictive pill that gave him diabetes..

i am on depression medication that does nothing. I live in california and can only go to government doctors. There is almost none left because arnold schwarzeneggar terminated my state so i can only get an appointment every couple months. My only real appointment was a huge disappointment and i never even got to try the medication because it kills people with diabetes. Have to wait more months to try my luck again, letting somebody who wont  even try to do thier job adequately gamble with my future.

[Omusicgame]

Listen gumby, you gotta understand its not easy.  You gotta truly understand that its not easy.  And when you go through it you gotta fight.  No matter what fight that pain.  Go out, take a long walk, get some exercise, just keep busy.  You gotta learn how to fight it.  When you keep fighting it, that pain will not overcome you as easy.  Trust me.