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1052305 tn?1254950976

Horribly Confused, Please Help

The situation:

Me and my boyfriend have been together since 2006. I was 15 when I started dating him, and am now turning 19. We've lived together for a while now and have been through so much together. I love him dearly. He has been such a blessing for me. He treats me well and we do everything together, always have. He truly is my best friend. We've talked seriously about getting married and having children for a while now. The trouble is I think we're going in different directions, now. It seems like we both want different things, but we still love eachother. Sometimes it feels though, like we like the idea of being together than actually being together. I love spending time with him, he makes me feel good. But I constantly seem to have wandering eyes. I want to live where we are till the day I die; he wants to get out of here. We have very similiar habits and views on things, but it seems like we want to do different things with them. I fear we are just not "in" love anymore. I feel like we were so young when we got together that we never got to establish our OWN identities separate of eachother. I don't know who I am without him, or what to do. It's like I need him to function now. We've talked about this before, but it's too hard to go through with. Since we live together, we can't just say "Hey, maybe this isn't working out. Bye." We have bills together and a life together. We own stuff together. We live in a very small area, with an even smaller population; you run into everyone you know constantly. It would be impossible to just break up and not have to see him, which would make this so much easier. We have stuff at my parents' house and his. Nearly four years is a lot to give up and a lot of memories and I can't grasp the idea of being without him; even though I feel like I want to be single at this point in my life. I'm afraid if I leave him I'll regret it and it'll be too late. We've broken up for VERY short periods in the past, and as soon as I let him go the pain is unbearable. I don't want to leave him and never be able to get him back, but I also don't want to waste anymore time in a relationship that isn't meant to be. I'm just scared. We don't have a bad relationship and he treats me well, it just seems like it's fading away. It's hard to describe.. I still love the feeling of hugging and kissing him, and cuddling with him, but a part of me feels like it's time to walk away. There are other guys I may be interested in, and I don't know if that is playing a part in this. I can tell you though that none of them have made me feel the way my boyfriend does. But like I said, I know we LOVE eachother, just not sure if we're "in love" with eachother anymore. Has anybody else been in this situation? Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!
4 Responses
1294091 tn?1312707301
Have you talked directly to your boyfriend about this? i mean ALL of this.

If he loves and respects you he will be willing to talk it over whatever the end result will be.

It's never a good idea to make a big decision, that affects other people, on your own.

Talk it over with him, tell him how you feel, let him tell you how he feels, and if your still uncertain on what to do come back and ask again.
1052305 tn?1254950976
Yeah, we've talked about this whole issue before.. But everytime we decide it's time to move on - we come back to eachother.
1034736 tn?1319559035
Part of being a couple is learning to accept each others differences.  It sounds to me like you really love this guy but you're worried that there might be a better match for you out there and you don't want to miss any opportunities.  Just remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
684030 tn?1415612323
Many couples go through this... you might want to consider a trial separation to sort out any questions and doubts about the relationship and its direction. Time alone allows for the time and space to focus and discover individual needs and goals... and is a necessary step in "finding youself."
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