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how long can someone go without someone else to love ?

I always knew i didn't love my husband since the beginning. We were just friends and we decided to go out for a little while. We were 17 and I got pregnant. He was my first everything. Not because I was in love with him, but because he feel in love with me and I cared for him and knew he would never hurt me. I should have left him then when I knew he wasn't the one for me. 11 years later i can't even tell you how difficult it has been. I stayed because I didn't want to be another statistic and my child didn't deserve being fatherless. It's affected me in every area of my life. My job, friendships... I have none. There's no joy there. Can't be proud of myself because I feel like my life could have been much better or more satisfying to me. I just need to break away. I have 3 kids now and i stay for them. I'm strong, I'm scorpio, quick to regenerate  and bounce back. That and God are the only reason i survive.
Thanks for listening.
1 Responses
145992 tn?1341348674
This is so sad, I feel for you, your husband and your children.  But I feel kids are truly happy if their parents are and you are not.  I think the best thing to do is leave just so you can salvage the rest of your life and he's able to be in love with someone who will reciprocate those feelings.  He can still be a father to his children without having to be married to you.  As long as you two can separate on amicable terms then it will be beneficial to the children.  It's going to be hard for them anyway but if they are able to still have a closeness with their father they will be able to adjust a lot easier.  
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