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My husband walked out on US

What can i do to fix my marriage of 7 yrs 4days ago my husband walked out  and left me with his two children from a former marriage my two from a former marriage and our two children together..and mailed me a typed letter **talking bad about me and telling me he wants a divorce there will never be an US again he dont love me anymore...I offered counseling to help us thru this but he refuses....how can a man who loved me so much just up and leave me like this no money no home no nothing because he moved me into my parents house so we could supposebly build us a home on the property my dad gave us so  we moved back closer to our families to do this .. he brought me a few months ago with the kids then he came a couple weeks ago he came to join us since then he has started txting his mother constantly spending no time with his children hiding to talk to his mom on the phone we argued about this because i feel he needs to spend time with his children and not so much on his phone with his mother. then he up and walked out on us and is now staying with his mother how can i get my husband back ?? please help
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483733 tn?1326798446
I hate to say this but perhaps he is not even staying with his mother and is using the threats to ensure you don't find out what he is really up to.  Get a lawyer ASAP.
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Avatar universal
I'm very sorry for what is going on I know it's very difficult for you and the children. Leave him and his mother alone and get an attorney and YOU start calling the shots!  What he did is horrible and has made it very clear what he wants, but don't lose your self-respect to his actions.  It's time to fight back and stand up for yourself and your children, you need to get in "survival mode"!
I'm not sure I believe he's even talking to his "mother" especially the way he sneaks around to do it.  He continues to belittle you and you don't deserve this, and your children deserve a happy home.  Think long and hard about whether you really want this man back, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.  Something isn't right with his actions and I feel there's more to his story than you know.  I wish you and your children all the best.
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Avatar universal
I can imagine this is extremely devastating for you.

May I ask what was going on in your marriage prior to him leaving you?  Sounds like you may have been having some serious problems prior to his departure.  

I wouldn't recommend contacting his mother or him directly since he is NOT acting in any way reasonable, i.e. his threat about the restraining order and especially if you don't have a good relationship with his mother in the first place.  I would assume leave her out of this.  I would suggest consulting someone legal, i.e. legal services or a lawyer who works PRO BONO to help you sort this situation out as AnnieBrooke has already suggested.  

Ideally, you should seek counseling for yourself even if he is not willing to go to sort out all your feelings and emotions.  
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Avatar universal
Hey,
I'm really sorry this has happened to you, I can't imagine what you're going through right now.
AnnieBrooke is absolutely correct - you need to contact a lawyer and find out exactly what your legal options are in this situation. He is legally bound to at the very least contribute financially to your two children together, his two children and possibly also your children due to the fact that you are married.

Right now is the time to keep your friends and family as close as possible. I know this is not what you want to hear but the fact that he drew back so drastically and so abruptly would make me suspect that he has something else going on that you may not know about.

I would put focus elsewhere right now no matter how hard it may be. Take care of yourself, take care of your children. You have a lot to think about - if he does become willing to talk, will you ever be able to trust him? Will you ever feel secure again in the relationship?

The last thing I may suggest would be to call his mom and try to calmly explain the situation he has put you in. He is obviously close to her and maybe she could help nudge him to step back up and handle the situation like an adult.

I hope everything works out.
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Avatar universal
ty AnnieBrooke I will definately talk to a lawyer just wish he would talk to me but he said if i contact him or show up at his moms he will get a restraining order against me so it leaves me with my hands tied to working out our marriage :(
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1642048000
Talk to a lawyer or legal-services clinic and learn what your rights are and your obligations to his children.  It will strengthen you and clarify the discussion with your husband.
Helpful - 0

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