I know exactly how you feel, about a year ago I had my 3rd lap, they got more endo and unlike the other 2 surgeries this one didn’t help at all, I felt worse it at all possible. My Dr put me on methadone which does help but if I’m on it for more than 2 weeks I start becoming immune to it.
I’ve lose my job in debt up to my ears and some days I wish it would just end. But no matter what suicide is not the answer. Go to your Dr try a pain management center, I would not get on any depression meds yet because you are prob just upset because of the pain, work on that and make your Dr understand you.
I know how you feel. I will admit I have had my problems. I cry daily over it, but I have realized that it is just a part of who I am. I have started living again and just ignoring the pain. Is this easy? No, it's not!
I have learned to just up my pain tolerance. I spend a lot of time out with friends and having a good time. Many times I forget I am in pain and do something stupid, like drop something on my stomach.
I have even started to dress nicely everyday. I wear leggings, dresses, skirts, and nice clothing. I do this because it is fun. It is just ways to make life a little more bearable for me.
Is this ideal? No it's not.
You just have to find a way to make yourself happy. I have a life and for the first time I am really living. My hormones go crazy and I cry over the stupidest things. I try to do this when I am by myself.
I might even try taking some fish oil if I were you. Omga 3 does wonders for me and I love it. Just find what makes you happy and go for it.
Have you been to your doctor for treatment options? There are a number of treatments you can try.. Look into it. Don't just take it and do nothing about it. Be proactive. Hang in there. Good luck