I've had ED for as long as I've known, HELP ME??

[ImAtTheEndofmyrope]

I'm a 35 yr. old male.  I've never been able to get an erection with light foreplay, kissing or anything.  I always have to be physically stimulated to gain an erection.  When having sex, I will often go down, and it takes restimulation to continue.  Sometimes this happens 4-5 times, and usually by then both of us are completely frustrated.  I have no problem masturbating, and when I blacked out on whiskey my g/f said I was erect even after sex until the next morning.  If I've taken a vikodin or xanax, this problem is not as prevelant, which leads me to believe that this is mental, not physical.  I know I am heterosexual so that is not the issue.  I smoke regularly, and drink occasionally.  My g/f is completely frustrated, as am I.  I'm currently taking 1000mg of niacin a day as of yesterday, experiencing the flushing effects, and trying to get more blood circulating.  If there is a solution, an herbal remedy, or anything that might help, I'd be very appreciative.  I can't go on like this.  It's too embarassing, frustrating, and the will to keep trying is fleeting.

[palpateit]

It does sound like performance anxiety, because you can masturbate just fine. However, do you use porn to masturbate? If so, what's your erection like when you masturbate to only sensation, and with the same speed and pressure as you would during intercourse.

If you have been using porn, and you need it to get rock solid check out the following  -

The following 2 links are to Medhelp threads on porn-induced ED. Read the stories. If you want to know more locate my first 2 posts on the link #1

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/22-with-porn-induced-erectiledysfunction/show/469209?page=1

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/Too-much-porn-masturbation-cause-ED/show/183203

On  GOOGLE VIDEO find  “Erectile Dysfunction And Porn” - watch the video series.

Here’s a Psychology Today article on it
Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Is A Growing Problem
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-is-growing-problem

PS - it takes longer than 30 days for nearly everyone

[love_a_challenge]

You need to immediately stop smoking, masturbating alone and if you watch porn, stop that too!

Tell your gf you went to the doc and was told you need 30 days to clear your mind from any pressure to have sex. During the 30 days, abstain from PMO. After 30 days, I guarantee you will feel and see a difference with your gf. If you get great positive results, I advise you to stay away from smoking and masturbating (which is causing you to have low sex libido) with your gf.

[ImAtTheEndofmyrope]

I need to ad that I don't go to doctors unless I need emergency help, and I do not have insurance.  I have had hypertension before, and I always think about performance issues when having sex, which may not be helpful as well.  Thank you anybody in advance.