Just wanted to clarify.....When I mentioned us women using the vibrator, I was referring to vibrating the clitorus. That's what most of us women do for a quick intense climax. Especially when we want to get a quick one in to satisfy that 'itch' if you know what I mean. lol Again, if you're not sure what to do, ask her to show you. I hope she is open to letting you do it for her. It'll be great.
I'm female and have masterbated since I was very young (prob. 8 or 9). It's all about the clitorus for us!!!!! Yes, we climax through intercourse, too. However, if most women are truthful, they will tell you there's no sensation like the clit brings us!!!! Just fondling her clitorus will get her moist. Then you wet your middle finger with her natural juices and softly rub the top and sides of her clit. Ask her to show you how. She may be shy about admitting SHE DOES IT IN HER ALONE TIMES but let her know it's okay and it turns you on. When she feels comfortable enough to show/teach you how to please her that way, she'll love you forever for your willingness to care enough to please her that way (because truthfully, it IS what we women love the most) Not to down grade the penis because it's wonderful too, but climaxing via clitorus is just a way more intense climax. When you decide to give her oral, just remember IT''S ALL ABOUT THE SUCKING!!!! Just imagine you were sucking on a baby bottle. Do that after you've 'finger rubbed' her 'moist' clit and she'll LOVE IT!!!! And until you get it down, there is ALWAYS the vibrator. Oh yes, we women use a vibrator often. It may not be as exciting for YOU but climaxing with a vibrator is the best!!!! When she sees your sincere efforts in wanting to please her, she can't help but love you! And.....put your fear away. Losing her???? Not if she truly loves you. Good luck with the clit.......it's the best thing a man can do for his wife and also take some pressure off of him.
I find that the best cunninlingus I can give my wife is to kneel next to her on our bed and lean over her to lick her clitorus from the top. This resembles the 69 position, but I am next to her, not staddling her. This allows my wife the freedom to fondle me as I stimulate her orally. This is good for both of us. She enjoys the oral stimulation and I am able maintain a stiff erection from her fondling my penis and scotum.