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Why my husband looses his erection during sex?
My husband and I have been married for almost 29 years. He just turned 47 and I am 46. We have I guess to say not had the best sex life. In the beggining it was very nice. Then the kids started coming. We have 3 beautiful girls 26, 23 & 19. And we hardley ever had sex after they were born. We were apart for 2 years ending 7 months ago. You see my husband was transfered and we decided I would stayed back home to let our youngest graduate high school there. So we only saw each ohter on the weekends. When I would come here it was wonderful. We were all alone. The sex was great. Then I moved here and the sex was off and on. More off than on again. So I decided that I wanted us back. I Love my husband so much. And I know he loves me. The problem is he used to want sex all the time. He would raise to attention when I entered the bedroom. Well not any more. He does not seem interested even though we are alone. Now I have gained a few pounds. I am not saying I am obese but I do need to loose about 15 pounds. We both started going to a gym. He needs to loose a few also. I also caught him watching porn one evening. He said someone sent it to him and he don't just watch it. So now I have the feeling he is just not sexually arroused by my body anymore becasue I don't look like the girls in the porn. He says he is but when I get into bed naked and lay on top of him kissing his neck and nothing happens he just says he is tired, then I can't beleive he is. I am not real sure about myself most of the time. I don't usually take charge like that. We talked about that and he says he likes it but most of the times I did he was not interested. So what am I to think. It does nothing for my self confidence at all. So I told him if he wants sex then he needs to let me know. I find myself just thinking of him and getting excited. So what is the problem. I think he only has sex with me most of the time becasue he senses I want to. Why can't he stay hard while we are having sex? I could see if we stopped but that is not the case, we can be in the middle of it. And just to add I am not one to just lay there. I help. If I am giving him oral sex he is fine. And usually while he is giving me oral sex he is hard. But the last few times he is not. I mean if I start on him he does get hard. Then we start having sex and after a bit he just goes soft. He does not ejaculate then go soft just goes soft. And then there are a few times that he can't ejaculate. So what am I to think? I am a horrible wife. I can't even keep my husband interested during sex. Please help. Worriedwife
I am 29 and my husband is 37 he takes bloodpressure pills and an anti anxiety pill in the morning. He can only get an erection in the morning but just know your not alone. This is my second marriage the first marriage he was a very sick S.O.B he was addicted to porn he would hide it around the house he was so desperate he stole my daughters portable DVD player to watch his flicks in the truck. After battling with HIS ADDICTION for 7 years my youngest daughter whom was 5 at the time brought me a magazine she found under her bed I was floored. It was a very explicit magazine my daughter said momma this looks like it hurts. About 2 months later my now exhusband come clean that he had been having sex outside our marriage for several months. So we divorced. My current husband has E.D. and yes I get upset at times but we get through it I'm not a super model by no means but I am attractive. I wish my husband would lose some weight he's 6'3 and 235Ibs. I think it would benefit him greatly in a lot of areas of his health. But he's awesome. Caring, affectionate, and a wonderful stepdad. I really hope you don't give up on your husband. But to have fun with the situation girl get YOU a cordless jackrabbit. Don't tell him your getting it but don't hide it let him find it hek let him catch you using it guarantee you he won't like the fact he's not man enough for you anymore!
Thanks. I completely know that feeling of being less than adequate. I have felt that way for a long time also. Now I am just tired. Tired of everything. Don't care anymore. Done. Yes it is confusing. I know I am not 20 something anymore. I know I am not 102 pounds like I was when we got married. I know and have tried to loose a few pounds. But I can't do anything about the age and what time has done. BUT he is not 20 something anymore either. He is not 145 pounds either more like 215 now. And up until a few months ago that did not bother me at all. Now because of his out right looking at young, sexy girls and saying he can't stop I don't even want sex with him. So I guess all is good. He don't want sex with me and I don't with him. So we just exist.
I have been married for 33 years. We have 3 children and haven't had "normal sex" for years without meds. We have given up because the meds are way too expensive. It is discouraging and I have felt like a less than adequate wife for years. I am only about 110 lbs. and have dieted thinking I'm not what he wants. This is so confusing and embarraing and is the unspoken pain in marriages. I don't know how to help but I want you to know you are not alone. Joashland
Thanks. I don't complain. I just don't say anything. He WILL NOT see a doctor. Not for depression for sure because he says he don't understand why people need pills for that. Just find out what makes you unhappy and fix it. And as far as seeing a doctor for going soft, That will not happen. He don't see that he has a problem. So now it is HIS problem. I guess he don't love me like you love your girlfriend. But it don't matter. We have not had sex in over 3 months. And I am good with that. I am to the point that I don't like him very much anymore. I love him and I always will. I just don't like him very much anymore.
And one other point. It should not be just women who have to figure what a man wants. A man should see what a woman want also. And it is impossible to figure what a man wants because he wants everything he can't have. Even when he has the best right in front of him.
And one other point. It should not be just women who have to figure what a man wants. A man should see what a woman want also. And it is impossible to figure what a man wants because he wants everything he can't have. Even when he has the best right in front of him.
you said it yourself: A woman is supposed to please her man just like he is supposed to please her. No difference there. And a woman is supposed to make her man feel aroused. That is what I am having a problem with. Is it me not making him feel aroused?
Nothing is more enjoyable than sex. In fact having sex is fundamental to a better life and health.
What I am about to saying includes all women with the same problem. If you are supposed to make your man feel aroused, and you are having a problem with it, what do you expect from your man? Aside from men and women who go to clubs almost every night and have a different way of life ( I say it because at one point I was one of them, and every night I had more than 1-2-3 girls who wanted to have sex with me, if I can call it sex!), most of the men who love their wives or girlfriends, they are not lying. They mean it. But do you honestly know what you are supposed to do to keep him around and satisfied? Not all men become satisfied the same way. We are as much human and have our own ways of getting aroused. Men in love don't watch porn unless they watch them with their partners, and is okay to both of them, and they don't go with others. This is the magic of love. You need to go through trial and errors and see which one works. At home without asking him try whatever comes to your imagination without being volunteer to letting him know what your are doing is for him. for example try at all time wearing sexy and half nude stuff, and do it for your own pleasure, and see what his reaction is. If it doesn't work try something else. If he goes to work, when he comes home, try to be at your best shape, hug him, and kiss him gently. If he needs to be alone for the first half hour, give him the privilege. By your actions you are letting him know that no matter what, you are with him and back him up at all time. He needs to make sure as much as he loves you, he have the same feeling towards him. If you think he needs to see a doctor for distress, depression, anxiety, etc., or he needs to use pills, ask your or his closest friend to indirectly talk to him and encourage him to go through it. Don't say it to him yourself. This way not only you are not helping him but let him make a wider distance between you and himself. Only engage in these kinds of conversation if he asks for it, and stick to what he is asking. Don't tell him all the things you have kept to yourself and suffered for them. In other words, don't complain. Gradually he comes around. Remember he needs you more than anything else, and the key to overcome his problem is you, but learn how best is effective, and remember you don't need to have sex just in bed. If you use your wild imagination, there are hundreds if not thousands of ways that you can search on internet. If you have kids, always put him ahead of your kids, and make sure he gets your attention.
Let me give you another example; when I am havig sex with my girlfriend, we have oral sex. I talk to here (rather whisper) and touch her gently and tell her what she wants to hear and I truly want to say. I immediately get erection. I can have intercourse with her first and then arouse her to the point to of having orgasm, I love her so much that I prefer to do anything possible, no matter how long it takes, to take her to her peak of her enjoyment and make sure she has her orgasm. I confess sometimes after that, and before having intercourse, I lose my erection. But I am not upset, and explain to her that a man's erection (and this differs from man to man) has a certain time, and I would love to see she enjoys the sex, and I think of myself as secondary because I love her.
I hope this helps.
Nothing is more enjoyable than sex. In fact having sex is fundamental to a better life and health.
What I am about to saying includes all women with the same problem. If you are supposed to make your man feel aroused, and you are having a problem with it, what do you expect from your man? Aside from men and women who go to clubs almost every night and have a different way of life ( I say it because at one point I was one of them, and every night I had more than 1-2-3 girls who wanted to have sex with me, if I can call it sex!), most of the men who love their wives or girlfriends, they are not lying. They mean it. But do you honestly know what you are supposed to do to keep him around and satisfied? Not all men become satisfied the same way. We are as much human and have our own ways of getting aroused. Men in love don't watch porn unless they watch them with their partners, and is okay to both of them, and they don't go with others. This is the magic of love. You need to go through trial and errors and see which one works. At home without asking him try whatever comes to your imagination without being volunteer to letting him know what your are doing is for him. for example try at all time wearing sexy and half nude stuff, and do it for your own pleasure, and see what his reaction is. If it doesn't work try something else. If he goes to work, when he comes home, try to be at your best shape, hug him, and kiss him gently. If he needs to be alone for the first half hour, give him the privilege. By your actions you are letting him know that no matter what, you are with him and back him up at all time. He needs to make sure as much as he loves you, he have the same feeling towards him. If you think he needs to see a doctor for distress, depression, anxiety, etc., or he needs to use pills, ask your or his closest friend to indirectly talk to him and encourage him to go through it. Don't say it to him yourself. This way not only you are not helping him but let him make a wider distance between you and himself. Only engage in these kinds of conversation if he asks for it, and stick to what he is asking. Don't tell him all the things you have kept to yourself and suffered for them. In other words, don't complain. Gradually he comes around. Remember he needs you more than anything else, and the key to overcome his problem is you, but learn how best is effective, and remember you don't need to have sex just in bed. If you use your wild imagination, there are hundreds if not thousands of ways that you can search on internet. If you have kids, always put him ahead of your kids, and make sure he gets your attention.
Let me give you another example; when I am havig sex with my girlfriend, we have oral sex. I talk to here (rather whisper) and touch her gently and tell her what she wants to hear and I truly want to say. I immediately get erection. I can have intercourse with her first and then arouse her to the point to of having orgasm, I love her so much that I prefer to do anything possible, no matter how long it takes, to take her to her peak of her enjoyment and make sure she has her orgasm. I confess sometimes after that, and before having intercourse, I lose my erection. But I am not upset, and explain to her that a man's erection (and this differs from man to man) has a certain time, and I would love to see she enjoys the sex, and I think of myself as secondary because I love her.
I hope this helps.
Kegeling each other will give both of you a different type of sensation. this wil be a full body orgasm.when a man kegels the movement of his genita will be verticle and when female kegels, her vaginal muscles grips male organ strongly.If you have this type of orgasm, you will forget all toys. Sexual activity is a strong link between life partners.experimentation with new techniques. Learn them and practice them and use them in your sexual activity.TAoist yoga and kundaine youga will teach and give in-depth info on the subject.
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