Why my husband looses his erection during sex?

[worriedwife81]

My husband and I have been married for almost 29 years. He just turned 47 and I am 46. We have I guess to say not had the best sex life.  In the beggining it was very nice. Then the kids started coming. We have 3 beautiful girls 26, 23 & 19. And we hardley ever had sex after they were born.  We were apart for 2 years ending 7 months ago. You see my husband was transfered and we decided I would stayed back home to let our youngest graduate high school there. So we only saw each ohter on the weekends. When I would come here it was wonderful. We were all alone. The sex was great. Then I moved here and the sex was off and on. More off than on again. So I decided that I wanted us back.  I Love my husband so much. And I know he loves me. The problem is he used to want sex all the time. He would raise to attention when I entered the bedroom. Well not any more. He does not seem interested even though we are alone. Now I have gained a few pounds.  I am not saying I am obese but I do need to loose about 15 pounds.  We both started going to a gym.  He needs to loose a few also. I also caught him watching porn one evening. He said someone sent it to him and he don't just watch it. So now I have the feeling he is just not sexually arroused by my body anymore becasue I don't look like the girls in the porn. He says he is but when I get into bed naked and lay on top of him kissing his neck and nothing happens he just says he is tired, then I can't beleive he is. I am not real sure about myself most of the time. I don't usually take charge like that. We talked about that and he says he likes it but most of the times I did he was not interested. So what am I to think. It does nothing for my self confidence at all. So I told him if he wants sex then he needs to let me know. I find myself just thinking of him and getting excited. So what is the problem. I think he only has sex with me most of the time becasue he senses I want to. Why can't he stay hard while we are having sex? I could see if we stopped but that is not the case, we can be in the middle of it. And just to add I am not one to just lay there. I help.  If I am giving him oral sex he is fine. And usually while he is giving me oral sex he is hard. But the last few times he is not. I mean if I start on him he does get hard.  Then we start having sex and after a bit he just goes soft. He does not ejaculate then go soft just goes soft. And then there are a few times that he can't ejaculate. So what am I to think? I am a horrible wife.  I can't even keep my husband interested during sex.  Please help.  Worriedwife

[Dalubaba]

When she is remains unsatisfied, she will resort to artificial stimulation to satisfy herself. Many a time we do not care for our partner's orgasm or we are so excited that we ejaculate prematurely. In this case they will masturbate to reach orgasm.
In your case, when you have sexual activity, Masturbate her to orgasm. You may be open with her and participate in mutual masturbation. And eventually she may fed ii[ with masturbation and have normal relationship.
For giving her more satisfaction, learn some exercises to enhance your sexual power and learn new sexual postures.When she gives you presents of sexual toys means she would cooperate with you. Use your own creativity to lure her back to you. YOu may also take advice or a consultant. There are many threads of messages and websites which advice us on sexual performance.Learn kegel exercise.Teach her the same exercise. Then while doing intercourse kegel each other. Google kegel and visit few sites. Wish you best of luck.

[Dalubaba]

Casting spell to restore your relationship is not possible. If at all it is done, it will be a fake.This appear to be a false propaganda.Ensure the reliability of the person to whom your are recommended.

[muckymutt]

Hi all . . . . don't know if any one can help here or not , but any suggestions or comments are more than welcome .

I'm 45 and My wife is 39, we have been together for about 17yrs ( married for the last seven ) we have a 5yr old daughter who is amazing  . . . Since getting married , sex has become a lesser part of our relationship , and following the birth of our daughter we very rarely seem to have sex ( maybe once a month , or maybe even two months  . . .

However my issue is that I found my wifes vibrator , and since then I have no inclination to have sex at all  . . . (.my wife doesn't know that I found it  ).  . Don't get me wrong  , I'm not prude  , and do watch the odd bit of porn   , but since the discovery of the vibrator I have absolutely no interest in sex , or even masturbation  and cant even get aroused ..

Is this in any way normal ? Or is it just  envy / jealousy knowing that my wife is finding pleasure elsewhere . ??? I do love her dearly , but like most men , I have trouble in talking about sexual matters  , and as yet have not confronted her about my findings  .

I've also found that she's been  shopping online for adult toys for me for Xmas  . . . . .. but I can honestly say I'm extremely apprehensive and recently have been suffering from Anxiety, I've not been able to sleep and lost at least 15lbs with the worry ,

Sorry for going on and on  .. . . but its really eating me up   ...

[Dalubaba]

Muscle relaxant acting as aphrodisiac, is rare.I think the doctor who has prescribed the muscle relaxant can give you better insight int this problem.Porno is also an addiction. If he does not stop porno, he may lose reduce his libido as well.I think advice from Sex therapist and the doctor who  prescribed muscle relaxant medicine.

[justbecause123]

Have your testosterone checked.  If your level is down, easy gel medication works well.  You have to have your blood work checked often to see if things are where they should be.  

[passionateangel]

Oh wow yall make me feel better I'm 28 and my husband is 25 we been together for 3 yrs we have never had an arguement. Well except for me fussing about sex. First in out relationship we was long distance and saw each other on weekends. And we had sex 1 time a week. And it didn't bother me but when we moved in together it stayed the same then as time went on it went from 1 time a week to every other week and most of the time it seems he only does it to shut me up I got to a point where I was afraid to even try for the fear of getting shut down I hate being told no it hurts my feelings. Any way here in the past month everything has changed he was in a wreck and dr has him on muscle relaxers and he is wanting sex every night and all he want to do is watch porn the whole time I'm on top of him which is the only position we been doing cause he's afraid he will hurt himself. Anyways he watches the porn on his phone and the phone is always between us and it urks me so tonight I took the phone away from him and the expression on his face to me was like total boredom and he went soft and he says its cause the porn helps him stay hard cause he's on the muscle relaxers. I don't get it. He's always been honest with me but maybe someone can explain this to me cause I'm so confused I feel fat and ugly because went from sexy porn stars to this.