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Grief- Loss of Am Estranged Child

I lost my son 10 months ago he was 26 years old. I am trying to learn how to deal with the pain it hurts more than I can bear. I believe part of the reason I feel the way I do is because I had no idea my son was so ill. The last time I saw my son, two years prior to his death he was not a pleasant experience he was drunk. I received a call from his wife the day after he died. His wife would not tell me any details, and became angry when she found out that the funeral home gave me a copy of my son's death certificate. Another shock to deal with he died from liver disease. I have no moral support, and the people closest to my son have died such as my son's father my husband 11 years ago. I feel overwhelmed or like I am going to snap any moment now. How long will this pain keep going, and it hurts that my current husband is not understanding he thinks I am pitying myself. Maybe I am I feel like I have no life. It is not normal to me that a Mother should lose her child first.
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Avatar universal
A lost of a child is never easy. The age and current state of the relationship doesn't change this fact. There is alot to this story I feel, but just dealing with the grief is what I want to try to do. First, don't let the grief take over your life. If you haven't cried...cry. Get those emotions out. Also, try writing a letter to your son. This will help get out all your emotions. And help you put them all in focus. If you don't feel like writing, find a quiet place where you can be on your own and talk to him scream if needed.

One more thing, your dil probably needs you to right now. And you both have your son in common. Write her a letter call her or whatever it takes and try to repair that relationship as well. That will give you someone to talk to. It will also maybe allow you to feel closer to your son. Just remember how she acting at the funeral could have been her own grief and feelings of regret.

I pray these things help you deal with your grief I will be praying for you. May God bless you...
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