Unprotected Sex With Lying Boyfriend

[helpme605]

sex encounters, multiple times with boyfriend just met who said he had no diseases whatsoever.

turned out he was a pathological liar in the things he was saying (had it checked)

so now i am worried he too was lying about that and concocted a big story to delude himself of having HIV (that's just my guess)  I noticed that i started to get cramps in my legs and headache/stiff neck about a month after the first un condomed sex act, and about a week since the last...and various in between.  i had broken it off with him after i found out his lies...then i started to seriously worry/stress/flip out because I thought I had HIV...my lymph nodes (the back of my neck, left side) the side of my neck, and the left side of my groin are all swollen.  I have no aches anymore...first i thought it was cause i was taking olive leaf extract..but i stopped, now my lymphs are swollen.  plus...he had told me of some MYSTERY neural illness he had from a while back...and he would get really tired, hot, and lose coordination/dizziness.  he'd cough lightly too sometimes...like asthmatic sounding.  now im just putting it all together thinkin this guy was so insane because he found out he had hiv and made this whole web of lies in denial, and gave it to ME.  I'm so scared to get tested, that i've come to the conclusion I almost rather not go on if I have to be told i have HIV>

I am VERY non promiscuous, first partner at 21, ALWAYS protected...and only one partner after that until I met this guy...whom i deeply naively trusted.  .  most encounters we ended up using a condom half way through.  probably only 4 or 5 time that we had sex without a condom for just a little while.  

can my fears be abated?  I can't talk to him or ask him, Im so so so scared I've near had a nervous break down.  I can't imagine my future or the regret or guilt.  

please please HELP!  

[John703]

The reality is that there are sooooooooooo many reason why you could have swollen lymph nodes or diahria or anything else. The experts on this site state that there was a study of people who went into emergency rooms suspecting ARS symptoms and of that study only one percent actually had ars, Im not a doctor but simply have been paranoid like you several times. There could be a billiion reasons why you have these symptoms. But let's be logical here, for one fever happens with over 90% of ars cases and you havent mentioned a fever, now that youve stated you are hetero, we know the chances that your partner had hiv is less than one in 1000, we also know that the chances you acquuired the disease from the acts you describe are less than one percent and we know that you mentioned completely random medical problems without mentioning the one symptom which occurs in 90% of ARS cases! I think it is pretty safe to say that it is highly unlikely that you have HIV and your symptoms actually DO NOT indicate this either. As i said before you should just be calm wait it out and have a test at six to eight weeks and it will be definative. It is very very unlikely that you have hiv!

[Teak]

See your doctor if you are feeling unwell.

[helpme605]

Last post /rant.

This is random
but he had serious stomach problems too. And a symptom is diharrhea. What else could cause swollen lymphs!!!! In multiple locations. I. Feel like I have it. I'm instinctual. I could be very aware oft body changes. I've never felt this way before.

[helpme605]

Thanks very much
I KNOW my nodes are swollen. It's a definite. That's why I'm so scared. What are the chances that that window of oportunity for me to have ars or lymphosomethin something is not what's occurring?  It would be way too coincidental if it was something else. My lymphs haven't been swollen in years. Since I was a kid. I have no illness. I'm extremely depressed and anxious though. Feel like I'm gonna check in.

Winder if I should MSG him to get the truth

I'm a girl. 24.

Just finished college an knew not to be so Nairobi and trustinnof men and always use condoms. I'm so regretful.

Oh gosh. If I could go back.

[John703]

the only way youll know is by having an hiv test. Still your chances from 4 or 5 acts if youre heterosexual and your partner was in fact positive would be less than one percent. If your a male then your chances would be around five percent. This means that the odds are still in your favor and to top all of this off no matter what you are, your partner likely did not have hiv and frantically looking for signs are never going to provide you with a rational solution. The fact that he would cough some times or you think you may have swollen lymph nodes are not strong indications of hiv. Your likelihood for hiv based on statistics is very miniscule so just be calm understand the chance of you having hiv is very low and get tested at 3 months when it is likely you will find that you are negative.